View Full Version : i'm heartbroken
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 03:35 PM
unfortunately...:very_sad: this is so hard to type...i have to give peaches away:very_sad: :very_sad:
as much as i love and adore her my husband can not tolerate her "vocalness"
he did not tell me i had to give her up, but i just don't feel it's fair for her to have to live like she is. he retired in november and he is home in the house most of the day. (i am at work all day)her chirping goes through him...i've put her back in one of our bedrooms during the day and close the door..only to come home and find that he's covered her up!!!! it's a constant source of contention between us.
as far as lovebirds go i think she's wonderful! we've come along way together...i know there is no way to train her not to chirp..that is her nature. to me she is happy!
i do know someone who already has some birds and would love to take her.
i hope she still wants her as i know she's a wonderful fid momma. she only lives about 40 mins. from me so i can always see how she's doing. i'm hoping she'll do well. i did have to leave her for a week once..she stayed at a friends house and they said she was wonderful.
i will not sell her, i will give her to her along with her cage.
you have all been so wonderful to me and peaches! i always recommend this forum to any lovebird owner.
i just think there is a lesson to be learned here: peaches was a gift.
the intentions of a friend were well meant, but i think before anyone ever buys a parrot as a gift for someone, they should make sure they know what may happen if they do. there are all kinds of different species out there for the right person. if i were living by myself i would probably have lots of lovies and other parrots. but i'm not.
if this person can not take peaches...i will keep her until i find the right home for her....with a heavy heart..susan
cp.lovebird
02-23-2008, 04:35 PM
I am so sorry Susan. This must be such a difficult decision for you to make. :( I know that you really have Peaches' best interest at heart. I am sure you will do your best to find a wonderful home for Peaches where she will be well loved and taken care of. Hopefully, you can visit her there. Good luck. ((((HUGS))))
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 05:03 PM
thank you. this is very difficult..it's everything i can do to not cry. but this is my husband's home too and i don't want him to be unhappy either. i truly do want what's best for her. he thinks i should just keep her in another room and keep her covered when she chirps. he doesn't understand that that's not something she can control. as you all know lovies do have quite a shrill chirp. music to my ears..but a grate to hubby's nerves. this has been an issue since i received her last year, but i wanted it to work.
thebubbleking
02-23-2008, 06:12 PM
You should have him read the posts of the people who have left their partner because they didnt like thier fids!
We wish you the best and lucky for you the new home is close by.
I dont see how he cant turn up the tv or radio or something.... i mean a wife shrilling in ones ear is way worse then a little lovebird!
Whatever happens we are here for you and will peep you in our prayers.
linda040899
02-23-2008, 06:30 PM
Hi Susan,
I'm so very sorry that you won't be able to keep Peaches!
Birds sing/chirp when they are happy/feel good. People laugh/sing. I wonder if likening one to the other might help DH to put all this in perspective. Truthfully, I would much rather listen to a chirping bird all day than I would a barking dog! My 2 Corgis sound an alarm (bark) anytime they think they hear something that I need to know about. If I happen to bump a wall and they think I need to know about it, they sound off. That, to me, is a lot more irritating than the happy chirping sound of a bird!
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 06:31 PM
thanks..it means alot, especially now. i wish his tolerance for noise was the same as mine, but it's not. i think he is feeling bad though, because today everytime peaches would chirp he'd go over and cover her up as if he thot he was training her. i just know that this is the nature of a lovebird..she's not being bad. and altho, i know i could keep her in a back room and he could cover her when it "got to him"..that is not what i want for my peaches..she deserves better than that. when my friends wanted to get her for me i didn't know a thing about it.they asked my husband several times and with no knowledge of being a bird parront hesitantly said go ahead.
that's why i think people shouldn't buy a pet for a person, unless they absolutely know how that purchase will impact the whole family.
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 06:36 PM
ps...i would like to still continue to visit this forum to see how everyone is doing, altho i won't have a lovie:( just in the year i have had her i've learned so much from her. i still can't believe she's leaving. i'm sure she'll be happy in her new home. there are other birds and the friend who is taking her and her significant other love birds. they even have a birdroom. i haven't heard back from her yet, if she can't take her i will keep peaches until i find someone who i feel would love her as much as i do.
linda040899
02-23-2008, 07:05 PM
Susan,
Even though you may not have a lovebird in the near future, you are always welcome to come here for a visit. Owning a lovebird is not a requirement and we have members that don't!
Would a different kind of chirping/singing make a difference to your husband? The song of a male Canary can be delightful, as well as the song of a Bourke Parakeet!
Janie
02-23-2008, 07:06 PM
Susan, I am so sorry for you.
My hubby sometimes thought that Oliver's chirps were extremely loud so.....I got two more just to show him how loud three can be. It is amazing how well he has adjusted to the noise level when they're having a chirping party. He never mentions it anymore, not even when he's on the phone. He knows I stand firm on my pets. Fortunately he likes all of them and lets them out of their bird room into the kitchen with him if he thinks I've left them alone too long.
If he is covering Peaches during the day, I do think giving her away is the best thing for her. Again, I am so sorry for you. :(
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 07:25 PM
i really don't know what it is about her chirp? like i've shared it's hard for me to understand because it doesn't bother me at all. it has always bothered him since the day i got her. but i was hoping he'd get used to it..he is just one of those people that has a low tolerance for certain noises. i'm sure a cockatoo, macaw, conure and certain other species would bother him too.
bailey will have his moments..but it's not constant. peaches is pretty constant..but i really do believe it's just because she's happy and that's what she does. covering her up so she'll be quiet is not the answer.
michael
02-23-2008, 07:35 PM
Hi Susan. I'm very sorry to hear about your decision to rehome Peaches. :( Surely this will be a trying time for both her and you. We're sending our prayers in hopes everything works out for Peaches and she gets the best home possible. I also have great confidence you will do your best to make sure of it. I hope you can manage to keep in touch with peaches from time to time and maybe stop by and share some news about your visits. Although I know sometimes this is not always possible, either way, you know your always welcome here. Please take care, and keep us posted.
Jally
02-23-2008, 08:23 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this. But, you are doing the right thing. Your hubby lives there as well and it isn't fair to him nor Peaches.
Sweetpeaches
02-23-2008, 08:28 PM
thank you michael, it means so much to me to have such understanding friends. i have been considering this for awhile now. and it certainally isn't easy as i love her so much, but her happiness is very important to me and i want her to be free to do all the lovie things she loves to do...like chirping and being out of her cage to play.
yes, i'm very thankful this lady friend i met through another forum wants peaches. and she lives right on the way to philly where i pick my son up from college on weekends..so i'm hoping i can stop in and visit peaches now and then. i actually met her one day at bp and sat and talked with her for about an hour. she had her caique with her and i could just see the bond between them and how well she handled him. she told me that she always wanted a lovebird. she also has a conure. i shared with her how it was a challenge trying to keep peaches and my husband both happy and right then and there she said if i ever thot of re-homing her she'd be happy to take her.
whoever she ends up with, will be blessed to have such a sweet girl. dispite all the "henny" behaviors she is a gem. and she'll go to anyone. i should know by tomorrow if she can take her or not.
Susan
i think you are doing a very selfless thing, because you are thinking firstly of Peaches, and that shows how much you truly love her. I know my boyfriend has some issues with Ammy and his noise level, so I do understand what a difficult situation you are in. She will bring someone just as much joy as she has brought to you, and I do hope very much that everything goes well with rehoming her. Prayers and hugs
Dani and flock...
Sweetpeaches
02-24-2008, 08:15 AM
thank you dani...it really helps to ease the pain when you have people who support you and understand what you're going through. fortunately today my friend called and definetly would like to have her. it is a bitter/sweet day for me. between having a loving community like this to visit and knowing she's going to a very loving bird home makes it not too terribly awful.
she will now have a bigger fid family: a caique, sun conure and 2 parrollotes.
she'll be in their birdroom enjoying their company. chirping her happy heart away. and the other great thing is i can always get updates on her.
i will miss you sweet peaches...
lemonypickett
02-24-2008, 04:25 PM
Susan,
Please do stay in touch. I have always enjoyed your comments.
This says alot about how you feel about your husband. I don't what I would choose if forced to make a decision about that today. Although I am not married yet. I guess once you make that level of commitment, all else must come second.
I am sure that Peaches will be loved in her new home. Do not feel too bad about it. Rejoice in the fact that you are not using this as a reason to leave your husband. This proves that you are happy in your relationship. That is much more difficult to find than love from a pet.
Good luck.
Tutti's other mommy
02-24-2008, 05:00 PM
You made a very unselfish decision.
As Linda said, you might be able to get a different bird.
Sweetpeaches
02-24-2008, 06:17 PM
yes...it was a very hard decision to make. she left home today and it felt so empty in the house when i returned and didn't hear her chirps:(
when i introduced her to my friend she stepped right up for her. my friend was surprised at how friendly she was. i know in my heart that this was the best thing for peaches. i think she'll be very happy with all the birdie friends...
i feel very blessed to turn her over to someone who i know will love her the way i did.
i will definetly still be visiting this forum as i will always enjoy hearing your stories and seeing your pictures.
cp.lovebird
02-24-2008, 07:26 PM
I am so glad that Peaches has found a loving home with birdie friends. I think it shows how much you love her that you cared enough about her welfare to let her go in this difficult situation.
Hugs to you as you adjust to life without her in your home. Keep in touch!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.