Am I doing the right thing?

[josstar]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum and pretty new to owning a lovie. Merlin is gorgeous and already getting spoiled rotten...just like the kids :) Anyway, my question is this...Merlin will not let me touch him, is this just a trust issue I need to work through? He will sit on me (shoulder, head, etc.), he will give me kisses when I ask for them, he will take food from my hands, and he has even jumped in and taken a shower with me (that one made me laugh...Merlin in the bottom of the tub letting the shower water beat down on him just chirping away) but he will not let my hands anywhere near him.

Should I try actually holding him more throughout the day? We let him out to play with us for hours during the day, but I usually only hold him for a couple of minutes after I get him out of the cage. I was afraid he wouldn't trust me if I forced him to let me hold him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Tracy

[zlatushka]

Hi Tracy,

Welcome to the forum!

Lovies with hand issues are fairly common, and the best advice I think I could give you is just to be patient! :) The fact that Merlin lets you do so much with him already is a big plus. I would say just keep doing what you're doing, and things will move along with time.

It may be that Merlin never really gets to accepting hands... there are some birds that never get to like being held all the time or petted (just like some cats and dogs, I might add ;) ) My first lovie, Friday, will come and sit on me if its his idea, but still has never gotten over his fear of hands (although we make progress all the time.) His wife, Baby, however, is not afraid of hands at all, and loves to get her scritches when shes able (at least she likes it when she's not being nesty!:lol )

Sounds like you're doing well so far... just give it some time. Merlin is probably still adjusting to you as you're adjusting to him.

[Mydoona]

well I have had Mardi for two months now and she still wont come to me.If she is on her playgym and I walk in the room she runs to the top of her cage.She seems to feel safe on there but wont let me touch her or even get near her....I have NO IDEA how I am going to get her to trust me...food doesn't even work...HELP!?!

[Pips mom]

Pip has been with us now for nine months and still does not like being touched by hands. He does all those same things-----lands on me, follows me around, and he will even allow my hands to get close----as long as it appears to be for a good reason! :roll: If I try to touch Pip though, he runs. My boyfriend chases him at times, (teases him) and then picks him up and holds him against his will----he actually seems to enjoy it if we pet him or rub his beak, but he just HATES being held down! or held at all! He is afraid of my boyfriend somewhat because of this, but he doesn't lose his trust with me----still----no hands. I know it isn't because he has a fear of them because he will step up onto a hand, but ONLY when he lands on the floor! and then he won't stay on the hand very long! I really feel that he just doesn't like hands because he knows hands can hold or restrain him in some way and Pip is a freedom freak! gotta be free! out of cage! not held down! I have accepted that Pip does not like or want to be held or touched by hands----that is fine with me-----although it makes it kinda hard at times to things like----get him into a travel cage to go out, or try to weigh him. Pip is pretty stubborn, he wants what he wants and he does NOT want what he doesn't! He also has a way of making his wants and dislikes perfectly clear to us! :roll:

[beckyg]

Luna was like this when I first got her. She wanted to sit on my shoulder and not be touched by my hands. If I reached up to scratch my face or something she would lunge out to bite my hand. I got brave and started laying my hands near her without touching her. At first she bit me... but then she started nibbling on my hands exploring them. She got comfortable with them and now will let me give her scritches and hold her in my hands. I realize every lovie is different and yours may never like your hands, but this worked for me.

[Cindy N.]

Rini does not like being touched either. He's my oldest lovie and likes to fly onto me and will sit on my hand or on my shoulder for hours at a time, chirping in a soft voice. His previous companion was a rescue that was badly abused and he has learned a bit of her fear of hands. I have not, and do not persist on trying to get a lovebird to accept being scritched. If they do not like it than I'm okay with it, as the natural oils on our hands can make their feathers dirty. On the other hand, I do have lovies that do love scritches and I will give them a good scratch, but only for a minute or two or they start getting antsy.

Cindy

[josstar]

Thanks everyone. I feel better now that I know Merlin's alot like other lovies out there :) I'll just be patient and maybe one day he'll decide my hands are okay (or maybe not :D )

Tracy