I need help.

[ittyandrita]

I know this is awful, but I think I might need to re-home my lovies. I never thought in a million years I would ever give up a pet, but I am really having trouble giving them the home they deserve. It sounds so stupid, but I just work way too much to give them the time and attention they need, on average 60hrs a week. As much as I'd like to get a less demanding job, 6 birds and a dog is pretty expensive to maintain, and I need to work that much to provide for them all.
Perhaps its partially my fault for taking in Slim and Baxter and getting totally overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I could never EVER re-home Harry or Zoa. They are bonded to me and when I go away for a week, Zoa won't leave his cage and Harry just mopes. I saw the stress they went through when I adopted them and I just can not put them through it agin- I'm Zoa's third home and Harry's fourth. The lovebirds however, well, they aren't bonded to me and I think they would prefer living somewhere where they have more space and out of cage time.
It would also allow me to give Harry and Zoa more time, which they are lacking as well.
sigh. this is awful, I'm crying as I write this but I really don't know what to do. I can't imagine a home without a lovebird but these guys deserve better than I can give.
thoughts? suggestions? the thought of putting them on craigslist makes me sick.:very_sad:
Of course my ideal would be to place them in an aviary with other bird friends until i can buy a house and build them one. dreaming.

[thebubbleking]

where do you live? If your in hawaii i'll take them, if not mabey a forum member has the room.
Another option is a nearby school or home for the elderly they take pets most often.

[thebubbleking]

Ps do not feel bad for trying to give your lovies the best life you feel you can give them it shows how much you love them and that your a good fidma, it is better then just leaveing them on a doorstep or letting them fly out the window or giveing them to the humane sociaty all of which i have heard of people doing.

[chromasnake]

I can only offer sympathy at this point and echo Bubbleking in saying don't feel bad--you're doing your best, and at least you are attempting to get them to good loving homes. Often your local pet store will let you post adoption notices and Craigslist is also a good place: you might have to screen your people, but you might reach the perfect person to give them all the loving attention you could want-- and time you wish you had! Sending lots of good thoughts your way that a perfect solution presents itself.

[Sweetpeaches]

Rachel,
I know just how you feel as I had to re-home my lovie also. I don't think I'll ever get over it cause I really loved her soooo much. But sometimes things just don't work out the way we would've hoped. I was so blessed to have found someone (another bird lover who always wanted a lovie) to take her.
She would send me pictures and share stories about how happy she was with her new bird family.........but the saddest part of all was that somehow she hurt herself in her cage and she died. I hope someone will take your lovies and give them the wonderful home you have given them.

[Pips mom]

So sorry for your situation.....I would be heartbroken if had to give up my lovie! I think the only way I could ever give him up in a situation where I felt I had to, is if his previous owner wanted him back.....he is a young college student and I just know he really loved Pip and wanted the best for him.....he just had school and a job and no time for Pip. He listed Pip on craigslist and found a good loving home for him here....so craigslist isn't really all that bad......you can always just be very careful and you don't have to give them up to anyone until you find the perfect home.....also bird forums are good places to look. If you do this, just make sure the home they go to welcomes you back for visits if you want and will keep you updated and is willing to help you through this difficult time by keeping you updated with pics and whatever helps you feel better about all of this. I have adopted three re-homed birds now and I still keep in touch with the previous owners and send pics and Pip's previous owner even took him for us while we went away on vacation! It can work out ok.....I know it's not easy and you will miss them, but if you get updates and can visit and maybe take them when the owner goes on vacation.......all of that has got to help quite a bit! I totally try to be sympathetic with previous owners and make sure they know this bird will be very loved and well taken care of and have a good life! If you find that, then you know you have found the right home.......best of luck to you and very sorry for what you are going through. You know what your birds need and what's best for them, and if this is it, then you are just doing it out of love for them.....although kinda sad, they'll have each other so it won't be so hard on them.....and if it helps at all, when we first took Pip, he acted like he didn't have a care in the world that he was in a new home! Lovies are tough little stinkers and they just seem to bounce back from things and want to get back to playing and having fun!

[Sasq]

Rachel. You sound like you are giving your birds a good home. By realizing that you are not giving them enough time you are already miles above 90% of bird owers. Think of the birds who have no out of cage time and your already winning. It sounds like your not sure you want to get rid of the lovies - so dont. Do the best you can and im sure it will be good enough for your babies.

Will your circumstances change in the next few years, will you work less etc?

We have 2 parents and 3 children fishers living in the same cage, and we occasionally get fights. We have considered getting rid of the babies but the three seem to be bonded and we could never split them and dont know how you would rehome a threesome togeather. We think that us keeping them is most likley giving them a better life than the alternative.

[lemonypickett]

I agree that you should not feel bad. The lovies will be just fine. I am sure you will be a good judge of character and will find them loving homes.

Where are you located?

[Chickobee]

I looked up the profile location and it is Brooklyn, NY. Maybe someone in that part of the country can help...?

I am in Washington state, which is about as far away as I could get and still be on land... I wish I could help.

I totally understand about feeling you don't give the birds enough time. Sometimes I wonder what I got myself into when I decided to let my birds breed--not that I would have been successful at preventing all of them from doing it. Right now I keep wishing I didn't have to work so I could stay home to spend more time socializing the little ones and giving my other birds the time they are used to. Then I realize that this is a temporary situation which will be completely different in a couple of months.

I have also noticed that they are perfectly happy--even when I don't have time to do every single thing I did before. They still sing and play and swing and splash in their birdbaths. They don't care a bit!

We initially got more birds so we could pair them up so they would have companions while we are at work every day. I know they are happy even when we cannot be with them. Even if we never played with them, I think they would still be happy with each other. They just wouldn't remain tame. Would this be an option for you?

I know you also mentioned the added cost of the additional birds. This was an issue which was a concern for me too until I bought the seed saver Linda told us about. It is saving me so much money on bird food. I also began sprouting for the birds and they love those. I keep discovering more and more options for feeding the birds that are less expensive, and I think healthier, for them.

Is it possible that your situation could change in the not too distant future? Possibly this is temporary and you are feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment? Sometimes I need to give myself a bit of a break to regroup, especially if I get overtired. At those times everything seems to be so much worse--even though all that has really changed is my perspective--not the situation.

If you will feel really sad without your lovies maybe there are other alternatives you have not considered. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself and you are trying meet unreasonable expectations.

Is it possible that you could rethink this situation so it could work--even if it is not the ideal situation you have pictured in your mind?

These little guys are so cheerful all the time and such a pleasure to have around. I'd sure miss all the chatter now that I've gotten used to it.

I hope there is a good solution to this. I will be thinking of you and wishing for the best possible solution for you and your lovies.

(((((((((hugs)))))))))) Linda

[Janie]

Rachel, (((Hugs)))

I have no words of wisdom or advice but I feel for you and think you'll make the best decision for your situation. I hate hearing that birds are re-homed because "they're louder than I expected," they're too messy," "the novelty has worn off," "they bite me," etc. but your reasons are valid and I just want to wish you the best. I can tell that this makes you very sad and I am sorry.

[ittyandrita]

thanks for all the support. it really means a lot to have people not judging but supporting me. Obviously there is nowhere else I could go to talk about this.

I still don't know what to do. I burst into tears three times today just thinking about it.
I never thought I'd be someone who re-homes a pet. I also can't imagine being without the little buggers, but then I think about them being somewhere better.
Today for example, I came home at 6:30 did their basic maintenance- food/water/paper etc and then had to start working again at 7:30 (and I'm still working at 1:30). Seeing them dying to come out of their cages and socialize with each other (Rita and Jeffrey live together but Slim and Baxter have their own places) just broke my heart. I could let them out for a bit, but I also had to take zoa and harry out, so it ended up being a big tease.

To be honest I can't see my work schedule changing in the near future. Maybe in a year or so. my life is just not very predictable right now. I'm only 26 and either have to go to school to change professions (want to do conservation biology) or work even more insane amounts to further my design career. Basically, right now, I only have this job because of my commitments to the birds. It works because If I have to work late I can go home for a bit and then come back, and I don't have to travel but maybe twice a year. (this is totally not the norm for the design industry, most of my friends in the industry travel 6 of 7 times a year for weeks at a time and stay at their offices till midnight) But I can't have a job like that forever.

I got in way over my head with a lot of wishful thinking about what I could and could not handle and now they're paying the price.

Their cages are fairly clean because I hire somebody to do it- I help her if I have time to do it, but usually its while I'm working. There are 3 huge ones, a medium and a small. Its more time consuming because I can't take them outside and hose them down I have to do it all inside my apartment. Got the steam shark though! thank you whoever posted about that! I also got the steam mop which is great for the bird room floor...

I always change their water and food everyday but they don't always get fresh food. sometimes i let the newspaper sit too long too...

And sometimes its not even an issue of actual time i just don't have the emotional energy to take care of them.

please use me for an example when you start wanting 'another lovie'

I haven't cried this much since I lost itty-bitty.
Its not that I'm crying because I know what I'm going to do I'm crying because I realize that there is a real problem here.
I love these little guys so much, but I dont think I can even keep up with what i'm doing for them now. I feel like I've failed them, but I just took them in at a time where I am not in the position to be able to care for 6 birds and a dog. Heck, I can't even take care of myself very well. I need my mommy to come take care of us :very_sad:

[SammySamantha]

Oh I feel so bad for you! :very_sad: What a hard decision. If you really feel you are not providing what your birdies need, then don't feel bad about finding them a new home. Your babies should not be a source of stress! I am sure you know them well enough to know which ones would be the best candidates for re-homing.

As far as Craigslist, I would use that as a last option. Unless you have a lot of spare time to screen for freaks. :omg: Many, many pet people on that site generously offer to take in pets then resell them. Make up some fliers describing your lovies with some adorable pics. Hit up local pet shops, vets, and senior centers first.

I am sure you will find them the perfect situation. Good luck to you and your bunch.

[lemonypickett]

Don't cry, finding a new home for the birds will most likely bring a calmness back to your life that will benefit everyone around you. I know whenever I take on too much with school and work, I start doing everything I am doing poorly. Humans do not have supernatural powers, sometimes we try to take on the world ... often times it just makes us nuts.

Take a break, get down to a manageable number of pets, and I am sure you will be less stressed, and start to flourish in all aspects of your life.

[Pips mom]

Ohh, I know what you mean about having enough out of cage time....my lovie is SO very demanding about that! BUT he's very good about going back in his cage as long as he gets enough time out. Yesterday for the first time in a long time, Pip was yelling and shaking his toys and bells to come out as I was going to work......you just want to stay home with them so bad sometimes! You can tell when they want out or attention and it feels bad when you can't always be there for that. I feel that I do well here with mine and have plenty of time for them, but of course times always come up when you don't, or have to go away for most of the day. When we go on vacation, I don't really have anyone who will take Pip and give him the out of cage time that he needs......this is why I stayed in touch and asked his previous owner if he'd like to take him when we go away......and of course he seems to just love having time with Pip again, and I feel good knowing Pip is with someone who understands and knows him and will give him time out of cage.
I love all the advice given here with this......it's so nice you are able to get so much good advice on what to do and how to go about doing it, your choices and wondering what's best. I wonder if there's anyone you might know or a relative that maybe can take them.....this way you can be in touch easily. I know there are bad crazy people out there on craigslist, but Pip was listed there for free! I wrote him an email and included a link to a bird forum I belonged to so he could see what I had posted and that I truly wanted to keep learning and doing the best I could for my birds. He came to my home with Pip and got to see where he would live......It just all worked out SOO good with Pip.....I don't think anyone could have given Pip a better home, more love and understanding.......plus we are very closeby, his previous owner is always welcome here and he even takes him when we are away. I know there's no guarantees you will find all of this, but if you're really determined to find them the best home, I believe that the chances are good that you will.......just don't settle for anything less than the best home, and you will feel much better about this whole thing!

[Janie]

Rachel, let me add that my precious "Oliver" is a re-homed bird! :D He was not mistreated or abused but was neglected. His former owner was going off for her first year in college and her parents didn't want to keep him. It all worked out well and everyone is better off now. Laura (former owner), me and especially Oliver.

The best situation for re-homing when it has to be done is to place them with a new owner as carefully as possible. In other words, find someone who is as bird crazy as all of us are! :)

[ittyandrita]

thank you for all the support and not judging me. I've decided I love my little snots way too much to give them up. I realized, they're my family! I can't just give them up because I'm stressed out. For the time being I am going to try and make it work, but maybe re-evaluate the situation later. They are going to move in to slightly smaller cages that are easier to clean- I live in an apartment so I can't take them outside to hose them off, but if the size is right I could spray them in my bath tub. If somebody I knew on this forum could take them in, I'd really consider it, but I just feel like i'd be giving up on my little guys. Thanks again for everybody listening to my venting/whining etc.

[linda040899]

Rachel,
Now may be the time to rethink how you do the maintenance work for your birds. When I think it's taking too much time and I don't have time to let them out for socialization, I usually look at what I'm doing to find easier ways.

I don't know what your routine is, but let me share mine. First of all, cages do not need to be spotlessly clean. In fact, too clean can be bad for their health and can allow them to get sick for lack of exposure to bacteria. Now, I'm not saying allow droppings to build up and debris collect in the trays, but cleaning trays every couple of days can be acceptable if the paper is not nasty. If you have grates on the bottoms of the cages, perhaps put several layers of paper in each tray and just remove the top layer until you reach the bottom.

I have 2 sets of food dishes and 2 sets of water dishes. 1-2 times/week, I put dishes in my dishwasher and replace what I've removed with my second set. If the cages, themselves, aren't dirty, perhaps consider taking them outside every couple of months.

When I feed everyone, I have several plastic 1 gallon pails that I fill with basic food and I have fresh food in a separate container. Instead of bringing food dishes to where the food is, I take food to the cages. I have another container for waste so I have everything I need right where I am. Ditto with water. I have a pail, and 2 plastic water gallons that I take with me. I dump each water dish into the pail and use just plain water to rinse out each water dish. If the dish is exceptionally nasty, I can either replace it with one from my extra set or take it into the kitchen to be washed. I may have several that need extra cleaning so I finish all water and then deal with the messy ones. My second gallon contains filtered water and that's what I use when I fill the cups back up to replace them.

Saving time means saving steps. I keep all my food dishes on the right hand side of the cage. My water dishes are all on the left side. I try to keep my cages uniform in size and keep them close together. Again, it's easier when things are uniform and you are using the same motion rather than having to change from cage to cage.

Don't know if this helps or not but it's here for informational purposes none the less. :)

[abdul14459]

Rachel, i just realized you are in Brooklyn. Im here in queens. If there is any trouble and you dont have time for them, i can take maybe one in. Im here in queens. Do you know where Hillside ave. is? Im going on vacation for one week on august 15 and i can take care of one of your birds for you after i come back. Just let me know if you are in trouble. I can help. Hope it works out.

[Eliza]

Kind thoughts, Rachel!

I know that you'll do whatever it takes to do right by feathered companions.

((((HUGS)))),

-e-