View Full Version : I'm jealous
Flapjack
10-21-2008, 01:09 PM
Ok- Jack did this when she was about 4 months, maybe a bit older- but now she loves me the most again...
Chino has been sweet, but not the same as he was before I went to California in June. While I was gone, he decided he prefers men. He doesn't like to be petted anymore, or scratched on the head and neck. He has NO problem biting me if I do something he doesn't like.
I guess my feelings are really hurt. When I take him out, he's great until he sees my husband or oldest son. Then he'll do whatever it takes to get to them. When they walk out of the room, he'll call to them and practically strain his neck looking for them.
When Jack did this, it didn't last long, and she was MY baby again. Chino has been acting this way for months.
I'm heartbroken... :very_sad:
Mine do this when my boyfriend is here, straight on him all the time where ever he goes! They love me to bits when hes not here but i think he's their favourite!
Jally
10-21-2008, 02:42 PM
Aw, I know how you feel! The conures prefer my hubby over me, which is OK. As long as I can handle them to get them back into the cage, I'm OK with that.
We have a cockatiel that prefers my hubby, but she was his first bird and I let him take over all her care so that she would prefer him.
But, then we got a lineolated parakeet and he prefers my hubby, too. And now, he is trying to butter up to Maile. *sigh* So, all I have is Peanut, but he doesn't really count because he goes to ANYONE! And is happy going to anyone. We have 6 bigger birds and most of them prefer hubby over me :( I have no idea why, except he has the time to sit with them where I don't.
Just not fair!
thebubbleking
10-21-2008, 07:33 PM
boo is not realy anyones bird but only mom can hold and handle her (my gf says there is only one queen b**ch in this house lol)
I got my tiel pohaku for my gf but pohaku is definately a daddys birds, sunshine loves everyone,and the conures lunge at my gf if she walks by and defeniately perfer me they call for me and look for me etc but i have yet to be able to do more then briefly hold them against my chest etc.
As for why they perfer me besides the obvious such as i am the one who feeds them and talks to them and give them treats etc.
I think my voice is lower they like that and i am taller then them even when they are in the cage where as my gf is shorter when they are in the cage...i have heard if you are shorter then where the birds perch in the cage they think they are your boss and act nasty....i wonder...
I find also that if I am away the whole day for some reason, I will come home to a grumpy bird who I assume feels unloved hahaha.. dramatic lovebirds..
Can I ask how long you were away in California for?.. if its a long time.. obviously thats the reason why they bonded with males.. I'm sure if you take the time every day to do all of the cleaning, feeding, walking around the house with them. The more attention you give them the more they will love you..
As I said when I am away for the whole day, I gotta suck up real bad to elmo to get him back to loving me.. that involves giving him millet.. talking him for a walk around the house.. etc.. etc
Flapjack
10-22-2008, 01:37 PM
Yep- the thing is, I am the ONLY one who has EVER fed or cleaned his cage- except while I was away. I've been back for 3 months, and spend time with him every day.
chromasnake
10-22-2008, 03:24 PM
:( I'm sorry, Jeni. I'd feel really put out and fifth-wheelish if I saw my feathered buddy (or canine, or equine, or piscene, or otherwise non-humanoid significant other) cozying up with someone else and turning up his beak at me, too. :hug: Sending lots of good thoughts that Chino comes around and becomes your little love muffin again...or that at least you are comfortable flockmates.
Chickobee
10-23-2008, 09:56 AM
Hi Jeni;
I had the same thing happen with my first two lovies. They were supposed to be MY birds. I finished handfeeding them when we first got them and did all the feedings and cage cleanings, etc. so they would bond with me. Then both of them decided they preferred my husband. If he was in the room they would both fly over to him and, it was too far to fly, they would fly down to the floor and run across the room to climb up his pantleg. When we would watch TV in the evenings they both wanted to be on him and if I would try to get them to play with me they would immediately fly back to him.
I'd had the same thing happen when I bought myself a dog. Kelsie was my dog until my boys came home from college for the summer. Then she decided my son Matt was her favorite, and she very obviously preferred any male person to any female. (Maybe it is the deeper voices...?) When they left again she was once more my dog but whenever they would visit she would go nuts for them.
I read in one of my lovebird books that baby lovies are hard wired to "leave home" when they are weaned and they won't have anything to do with their parents anymore. The book suggested that if you are the person who handfed them that they will then ignore you and bond with someone else. It made sense to me when I read it because my birds definitely wanted nothing to do with me when they were weaned and they would even bite me.
Later on Cricket changed and she now likes both of us about equally. Pixie is now like Landshark Boo. She is very cage territorial and will bite anyone or anything that comes near. We have found that she will be nice once we get her completely away from her cage. That was a recent (and very nice) discovery.
What I did to solve the problem of my birds liking Dave was to get more birds for me and my husband had strict instructions to keep his hands OFF! Now we each have some birds who prefer us and we have one cage with six juveniles in it who will go to both of us. There are three little opalines in one cage who just love me the most and it's so sweet!
I know how sad it makes you feel when your pets prefer someone else--even though you are the one providing for all of their needs. It doesn't seem right does it?
Pips mom
10-23-2008, 10:15 AM
I'm lucky with Pip.....he seems to just like everyone equally....even though he's in love with Ivy....he still will make an effort to show me that he still loves me too! He is just so social.....loves all people, all birds, dogs...whatever! He is not picky at all when it comes to his company! Any newcomers are gladly accepted and no one is ever shut out! He treats everyone the same! One of my tiels prefers my boyfriend, probably because he lived here with him before I moved in for a few months. Then there is Ivy.....she ONLY wants me! and is terrified of any strangers that walk into the house. She is aweful this way and we are trying to teach her that there is no reason to be this way with my boyfriend. She has gotten better about it VERY slowly though and still has a ways to go. She will step up for him, but she doesn't like it one bit! She is a mamma's girl for sure! I feel bad....my boyfriend took the day off when we went to go get Ivy, and she wants nothing to do with him! :rolleyes:
Flapjack
10-23-2008, 12:31 PM
Thanks, everyone- glad to know I'm not the only one.
I handfed Jack, and she loves me best, thank goodness.
I didn't handfeed Chino, and he loves my hubby. Last night, he kept trying to get Chino off of him, and put him on me. He just clung on for dear life, or flopped back to him immediately (Chino doesn't fly well). It was like he didn't want anything to do with me.
Chickobee- you are SO lucky!!! My husband doesn't even like the birds, and won't let me get another (although I will, eventually).
Oh well, I love Chino, but my feelings are definitely hurt.
LauraO
10-23-2008, 08:40 PM
I think it's cute Chino loves your husband because his incesant need to be with him will warm your husband to birds quicker than any human could:whistle:. Honestly, in the beginning these things are hard to deal with, but as time goes on you realize birds have preferences and you just learn to love them for who they are. We have plenty of birds who like my husband or me better. Of course, we have so many neither of us is put off by a birdy who prefers the other:x.
Chickobee
10-24-2008, 01:54 PM
Ditto to that Laura. I now don't care if some of the birds prefer Dave because there are plenty who prefer me too.
Right now we have 24 altogether, and some are gorgeous babies who are looking for loving forever homes. (hint, hint. If anyone is interested they can pm me. :))
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