quality of life.

[jimpierce]

At what point is the quality of life poor enough that euthanasia is truly the humane thing to do.
Parrots hide pain very well. Benji has a huge mass on his liver. The "keep him comfortable" conversation has been had with my vet. I just shot off an e-mail to them asking questions I already know the answer to. But hope still exists.
All he does is sleep. He will get up to eat, then back to sleep. The only sounds he makes now are is the little cry/chitter sound he makes when I reach in to get him.
Even when out on the patio he will go for some millet, then go try to sleep. Cricket is even getting to the point he will go off on his own and leave Benji alone. Today Benji didn't even jump to the ground to peck around for food.
Saturday he woke up disoriented and confused.
Sunday his beak was still dirty from eating the day before.
I know there is not point that I won't hurt like **** during this. I cry just thinking of it. I don't want anybody to make my decision for me either. I just don't know how bad I should let him get. My poor little Benji.

[linda040899]

I feel your pain, Jim! I really do!

At what point is a very hard question to answer, as it depends on the individual animal involved. It's always kindest to let them go to sleep peacefully before they are in much pain or distress.

It's a decision I had to make with a foster Corgi about a year ago. Penny came to me as borderline kidney failure and I managed to bring her back from what should have been euthanasia once. I had actually called the vet's office and made the appointment for that afternoon but gut feeling said that it was the wrong day so I cancelled the appointment. Penny got 10 months of good quality life and then I saw that her kidneys were finally failing. The rescue group told me that I would know instinctively exactly when she had to be put to sleep and they did not lie to me.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Jim & Benji)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[HaleBoppPeachyluv]

I'm so sorry that you and Benji are going through this. It is so hard to deal with losing a lovie. You will make the right decision for you both, or he will on his own time.

I lost my Maka when he was about 8 months old. I was careless about a ceiling fan. He lived through the encounter & struggled through the night, he was such a tough little baby. I prayed for a miracle, but he was not improved in the morning. I made the hard decision to have him euthanised that day. I cried all day and that whole week.

Love & skritches to you both.

[michael]

I'm sorry your precious Benji is having some major difficulties. What a tough time to go through. As someone who obviously loves and cares deeply for his family, you've already taken the right steps in having him evaluated by your vet. There's no question here that should there be a need, a most caring decision will be made to allow Benji some very special new wings. Prayers for Benji and his family. Please take care.

[LovelySydney]

I'm sorry to hear about your Benji Jim, I know how much you care about your fids so I can imagine how hard this is for you. If this were my little one I would consult the vet as to what they believe my little one could handle, than i would shower my gus with love and attention until I knew it was time to let him go. laura wrote that you will know in your gut when that time is, and I believe that too. My family growing up had animals and we knew in our hearts when it was time to let them go.


I send prayers your way and wish you all the best in this difficult time. Know that we are all here for you whenever you need it!! *hugs*

[Pips mom]

I am so sorry.....this must be so hard. We had to make this choice with our dog too and it was so hard because there were still some "good" days, but mostly bad, and seizures....I think you really do know when the time comes that you have to try to keep them from suffering. Poor little guy....best wishes to you and Benji, and hoping he feels better so you can have some time before having to deal with this.

[jimpierce]

ok, here we go. My vet, Dr. Thomas, says she will do a biopsy on Benji. She feels she can do it with no greater risk then other parrots. She has done it on a Cockatiel before. To find out if it is cancer or something else. To know for sure.
It is $450 for the surgery.
Kelly was just admitted to the hospital, as I was typing this out, to have her gallbladder removed.
I'll figure it out somehow.

This will not cure the problem. Only let me know what it is for sure.

[Flip]

My prayers are with you and Benji. It's such a hard thing to say goodbye to them. As Linda said, you'll know when it is time for him to go. *HUG*

[brittbritt]

I hope and pray everything goes well with Benji at the vet's office. I'm so sorry you're going thru this. I dread the day I have to make this decision with my own lovies. You being so worried about doing the right thing just shows how much you love Benji.

[wilkiecoco]

I'm so sorry you and benji are having such a difficult time. I'm sending heartfelt prayers to both you and benji. (((((((hugs)))))))

[lemonypickett]

Wow, the love you have for that little bird is felt all the way over here through my monitor.

I know you will do what is right, and whatever you decide, Benji will agree.

((hugs))

[cp.lovebird]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you and Benji. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care.

[Buy A Paper Doll]

I'm thinking of you, and of Benji.

[Bubblelady]

I almost can't read this thread :( I have been thinking about Benju but have been reluctant to ask. Buddy & I are in the same place. No tumor &, I think, no pain but I'm questioning the quality of her life right now. How to decide...how to sort out our own feelings/needs from knowing what is best for our birds :confused: And then to have a human family member with serious health problems at the same time :(:( I have no suggestions, no pearls of wisdom. Just my prayers that you will find your way through this dark place. Hugs to Benji, you, and Kelly.

[jimpierce]

sometimes, just not being alone in a problem is more help then anybody could know.

[Flapjack]

Oh, Jim- I'm sorry to hear about little Benji. I was questioning what I would have to do if Shenzi had a positive cancer result from her biopsy.
Luckily, it wasn't, but I was a mess until I knew.

Benji is such a doll- you mentioned somewhere else that he looks just like Jack and you're right. :) I'm sure he knows how much he's loved.

Hugs to you both, and the rest of your flock,
Jeni

[newloviemom]

awwwwww Jim--I am so sorry you are having to go through this with your sweet little Benji. Working as a nurse with preemies and sick babies, I have had to watch parents sometimes make the decision to stop support and let their little one go to heaven, and somehow, they know when the time has come to make that decision...I truly believe the babies let them know when they are ready to go, and I believe it is the same with our beloved pets...they let us know, and when the decision has to be made, we can be at peace knowing they were asking us to let their souls be released from their physical bodies that no longer work. It is the toughest decision we have to make, but one that is made out of love for our pets. Just hold him and love him lots while he is still here, and he will let you know when he is ready for the next flight in his journey.
As for the money to spend on a biopsy...if it won't do anything to save Benji, it might be better to save the money.

[michael]

Jim...Hows Benji doing?.....Sending him some scritchies :hug:

[Janie]

Jim, I am so sorry that Benji isn't well and that you are faced with a very hard decision. One that I've made for two of my beloved dogs in the past. As hard as anything I've ever done in my life but I felt like I had to do what was best for them.

You love him, he's your boy, and you'll do the best you can to do what's right for him. (((HUGS)))

[jimpierce]

he is about the same this AM. Which for now I'm seeing as a good thing. His weight has remained the same for awhile now. His droppings are looking better too. The swelling however has not changed.

[LovelySydney]

Glad to hear that Benji for the most part is doing OK = )

He's in my thoughts today.

[newloviemom]

Jim-How is your little Benji doing?

[newloviemom]

I'm so sorry Jim--I just saw your other post about your precious little Benji. What a blessing for Benji that you were able to hold him as he flew to the
Summerlands!
Cindy

[jimpierce]

thank you. I didn't even get here to post his condition yesterday AM. I am going to write up a chronicle of this for folks to see.
His body has been shipped off to Fresno for a more intense necropsy. Dr. Thomas did what she could and found the liver to be huge but no obvious tumor. The spleen was also swollen. She said with those two swollen it may have been an infectious disease. With three other birds I need to know. Sadly it means I will not be getting his body back.

[Enko_chan]

I was able to have cremation done following necropsy. Perhaps this is an option to explore. It is only a recommendation, I do not know what your personal feelings are on such a matter.

I actually am finally able to pick up my birds' ashes today. So all my babies are going to be home soon. I know that they're playing in the Summerlands, but I have a special sealed out-of-the-way place where I kept a tail feather from each bird after they passed, and their ashes. It is nice to have something.

Again, my heart goes out to you. Chris and I both cried when we heard of Benji's passing. I do sincerely hope that all turns out well and your other fids are not in any danger. I know what kind of anxiety such a thing can cause. Hugs.

[jimpierce]

I spoke with the vet today for a minute as the preliminary report has come in from Fresno. Pretty much said what we already know.
Difference is the addition of "extremely" swollen liver AND spleen. They noted that this is the largest spleen they had ever seen. Friday of Monday for the full report.

[jimpierce]

the results are in as to what took my Benji from me. Here I thought I was done crying for awhile. Silly me.
At least I know it was nothing I did wrong or could have done better. But it doesn't help the hurt at all.

Lymphosarcoma. http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/lymphosarcoma

It was in his liver, spleen, kidneys and intestines. Little guy hung on for us as long as he could.
He had to be in a lot of pain. At least I know for sure now and his pain is no more.

[linda040899]

Jim,
You now have closure as to what happened. However, fact never quite seems to ease the void created by losing a beloved family member.

I know what happened to Miracle and that was 7 years ago. I still miss her just as much, as evidenced by our banner and the photo in my signature. Time has eased the pain but the emptiness remains. She's with me in memory and I have a lot of those to cherish until I meet her again.

:grouphug1