a bad day

[bookworm0550]

this is not really bird related, yet it is. ok, so I woke up not feeling so well already, with a sore throat and minor headache. I hate to mention it too, but i'm pmsing on top of all this (and girls, you know how that is, I turn into a nesty hen).

Well, a rep for my workplace came in and he started to tell me that I need to stop getting birds, that I am on my way to being a crazy bird lady, and who the heck would want to date someone like that, blah blah blah. well, i was really annoyed, hurt, and mad. I was so mad I almost walked out of my work today, but I couldn't cuz there would be no one doing my job and I didn't want to leave my coworkers and bosses just stranded w/ no help. So I cried a bit and tried my best not to cry in front of everyone and especially not in front of the clients.

But seriously!! I mean, i get teased that a lot and it normally doesn't bother me, but to go as far as who would want to date me and telling me the amount of birds I shouldn't have. it's rude. i mean, we all tease one another, but i never go that far. i'm just so glad i'm home now. i know i shouldn't have let him bother me, but, man, where is a beak when you need one?

thanks for reading, i just wanted to vent to other bird lovers. no one else would understand.

[Flip]

Awww, {{{{{{{bookworm}}}}}}} I'm so sorry. Honestly, people just don't understand how hurtful their comments can be! Argh, it makes me so mad. You were the bigger person to stay at work and make it through the day. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. But remember, you *know* how much richer our lives are because of our birds. You don't have to explain it to some wanker who gets his kicks out of putting other people down. I guarantee you the reason he said those horrible things to you is because he isn't getting any.

Don't worry, babe. If you want to have "someone special" in your life, then you will find the right person, and that person will adore your birds as much as you do. Heck, I'd date you and I barely know you :)

Wanker man can go to h***. I hate when people think that they have the right to make negative comments about the way other people live their lives. It makes my hackles go up (or feathers, just like a hen about to bite).

You deserve a nice warm bath, some tea, and a good book. We're here if you need to talk.

[linda040899]

Who died and left it up to this rep to judge what you should or should not do??????? >: Simply tell him the next time that what you do after work hrs and at home is your business and none of his!

I usually let someone like that have their say and then my next comment is "Excuse me? I can live my life the way I want to and it's not up to you to offer suggestions!" My husband was not a bird person when he met me. First time he came over to my place, I told him to look around. The birds and I came as a package deal. If that was a problem for him, he could find his way back out the door he just came in! Trust me. There are a lot of bird lovers in this world! Just because this rep doesn't know any but you is his problem, not yours.......

[thebubbleking]

Awwww i know how you feel and believe me my ex got into cocaine and did me a world of hurt...hrmmm single you say....Interested in moveing to hawaii and we can consolidate our flocks wow a lovebird forum and dateing site!!!
lol
(but pm me if you wanna talk:) )

[bookworm0550]

thanks flip, i mean, i would never say that to someone who has a million cats or dogs or whatever animal they have. i don't expect everyone to be bird people and that is fine w/ me, but it's just like, why would you say that to someone? he said a bunch of other uneducated things too, but it's so annoying. i really don't care if people joke about it w/ me, but no one was as rude as he was. my boyfriend is always teasing me that i own a bird mill, haha. my coworkers were just like, "are you okay? I think you're a great bird mom, don't listen to him, do you want a hug?" and of course that made me want to cry even more cuz i felt so loved and cared for.

[bookworm0550]

Awwww i know how you feel and believe me my ex got into cocaine and did me a world of hurt...hrmmm single you say....Interested in moveing to hawaii and we can consolidate our flocks wow a lovebird forum and dateing site!!!
lol
(but pm me if you wanna talk:) )

lol, no, i'm not single. he was saying what if i was single, then who'd date me if me and my bf broke up.

[Flip]

It sounds like you have wonderful, supportive coworkers. Hopefully you can just ignore Rep-wad and get on with your (wonderful) life.

*hug*

[bookworm0550]

thanks, i do have to admit that i have some pretty awesome coworkers even when people are upset w/ one another. we're a small business so everyone's like family. unfortunately, that also means there are no secrets, but despite that, usually when someone is crying, everyone's pretty much concerned. and i know folks don't cry at work, but at my work place, people do cry, usually about a guy breaking their heart or a guy saying something mean to them.

[thebubbleking]

Arg another broken heart!!!
lol i know your taken which is why i was playing, there is a time and place for everything and i wouldn't solicit dates here lol
Besides i wont mention any names but i have been told i clean up real well! lol

[bookworm0550]

Arg another broken heart!!!
lol i know your taken which is why i was playing, there is a time and place for everything and i wouldn't solicit dates here lol
Besides i wont mention any names but i have been told i clean up real well! lol

haha, i know you were joking. but if you ever find a bird lover/dating site, let me know. it'd be kinda funny

[thebubbleking]

Hrmmm... I just may start one that is not a bad idea dateing is hard enough but to find someone with similar intrests and a flock of thier own or accepting of your flock makes it near impossible! (getting tired of flirting with the ladies in the pet shops and humane society rolflamo

[Flip]

I think I'd be the first person to sign up! :)

[momo]

Funnily enough one of my units I am studying at Uni is about work place conflict.

It is up to you whether you want to confront him.. pull him aside and tell him his comments were hurtful and unacceptable from your position and that he has crossed the line in terms of joking but without showing any signs of aggression to inflame the situation. Ensuring that you state, the action (his teasing), your feelings, and how you responded (eg. making you cry, felt little of him, felt as if he was a wanker, going off and saying he was a jerk to people, but ensuring that you state that's not the type of work relationship you want to have with anyone..etc)

He may come out and say it was just a joke..which he may be the type of guy to laugh things off.. but won't do it again.

If he knew you were upset on the day, and continues.. I would be mindful that he may be the type of guy who really enjoys teasing, as he may not have evolved from a teenager into adult hood..:x

[dieflying]

all i can say is "WHAT??" that's the most out of line comment ever! it would be one thing had he said "Geez! you have a lot of birds! gotta stop or you'll be a crazy bird lady!" (because that'd be a compliment to me! :) but to go further to say no one will like you? What a jerk!

[LovelySydney]

First, as far as the PMSing goes, I've been a nesty hen for the past 2 days, SO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!! Secondly, I get so much crap from people regarding my birds that I got the the point of being reluctant to talk about it. Even my boyfriend, who I know isn't trying to be mean, makes jabs at me for going on my bird forums so much. I always just say "its better than doing drugs". Lately its been "you're spending too much money on Oliver" - Really? Again, this is MY money, MY pet and I take care of him. So until I'm asking you for money for a perch or some bird treat, get off my case. & why is it that birds give way to the whole "crazy bird lady" stigma?? People say this to me all the time. When I said I was making my own playgym I got a lot of "you spend a lot of time doing things for a bird huh" It's not just "a bird!!" I always want to scream. I don't have children, my pets are my children, its the way it is - leave me alone!!


LOL - I could rant & rave all i want, just wanted to say I know how you feel. We bird people need to ban together. I have Oliver, Maggie & Roxy in my background on my computer at work. No one says anything about my dogs, but ALWAYS something about Oliver. Seriously, why is that??


(hugs)

[Jally]

My husband makes me feel like that sometimes. He will go on and on about the things I do for my fids almost to the point where I could cry because he embarrasses me so. I read Joey our linnie, a bedtime story and I rock Peanut to sleep every night. And, my dh will make it known to people that I do these things. I ask him why he says anything and he says because he thinks it is cute. Well, they do not think it is cute. You just portrayed me as a crazy lady. :(

[bookworm0550]

Birds and cats give way to the "crazy woman" line. Sad but true. But a person can have a pack of dogs and no one says anything.

I know, I get the whole "you spend too much money on your birds" from my boyfriend too. Good I'm not alone in that. And I don't even think I am spending a ton of money on them. I mean I love buying them things but I'm not spending $50 on a single toy or anything.

I read to my birds sometimes. Last time I did it, pan bit my lip. LOL. I think he wanted me to shut up!!!

[Pips mom]

First of all......you need to toughen up woman! You need to remember.....people who have nothing better to say than negative crap ARE THE ONES who won't get a date! He's probably just jealous because you are pretty! You are young......over time you will realize how people can be and be able to not even give his actions a second thought. He is stupid and ignorant and rude, and that shouldn't be making you cry because people like that just aren't worth crying over! Come on now.....next time someone says something mean to you.....no matter what it is.....never feel bad about yourself! I know it's hard with what hormones do to us around that time of the month and that it sometimes makes you want to cry over nothing, and maybe that was what made you cry, BUT you need to do me a favor here! Next time someone says something rude or mean to you.....tell them they are mean, or rude or whatever they are being......then tell them they are ignorant, because you have a happy life and are a beautiful girl! AND it is none of anyone's business to begin with! SOooooo......next time you tell that person off (in as nice a way you can of course, since you were at work!) Trust me.....it will make you feel better! :nyah:

[Flip]

First of all......you need to toughen up woman! You need to remember.....people who have nothing better to say than negative crap ARE THE ONES who won't get a date! He's probably just jealous because you are pretty! You are young......over time you will realize how people can be and be able to not even give his actions a second thought. He is stupid and ignorant and rude, and that shouldn't be making you cry because people like that just aren't worth crying over! Come on now.....next time someone says something mean to you.....no matter what it is.....never feel bad about yourself! I know it's hard with what hormones do to us around that time of the month and that it sometimes makes you want to cry over nothing, and maybe that was what made you cry, BUT you need to do me a favor here! Next time someone says something rude or mean to you.....tell them they are mean, or rude or whatever they are being......then tell them they are ignorant, because you have a happy life and are a beautiful girl! AND it is none of anyone's business to begin with! SOooooo......next time you tell that person off (in as nice a way you can of course, since you were at work!) Trust me.....it will make you feel better! :nyah:


1! :grouphug1

[maya_exquisite]

WTF.

First off, I'd like to give you a *hug* for having PMS. I've never had it myself, but have seen friends basically crippled by it. It can't be a fun thing to go through monthly!!

Second, he's lucky you guys aren't in Hawaii. If you were here and told me that... well, let's just say he'd end up kissing your a$$ for the rest of your life. Yes, I have a bad temper and I tend to make people who pi$$ me off regret ever breathing in my direction. :rotfl :whistle:

Is it a mainland thing with the whole "crazy cat/bird lady"?? I've never once had a single person say anything in those regards to me. Whenever I tell people about my birds they usually say, "Your birds live better than I do!!" and "Do you want to take my birds?!" Haha.

I think you and Shay should move here already!! It'll be better for everyone, you and the birdies. :happy:

[Pips mom]

WTF.

First off, I'd like to give you a *hug* for having PMS. I've never had it myself, but have seen friends basically crippled by it. It can't be a fun thing to go through monthly!!

Second, he's lucky you guys aren't in Hawaii. If you were here and told me that... well, let's just say he'd end up kissing your a$$ for the rest of your life. Yes, I have a bad temper and I tend to make people who pi$$ me off regret ever breathing in my direction. :rotfl :whistle:

Is it a mainland thing with the whole "crazy cat/bird lady"?? I've never once had a single person say anything in those regards to me. Whenever I tell people about my birds they usually say, "Your birds live better than I do!!" and "Do you want to take my birds?!" Haha.

I think you and Shay should move here already!! It'll be better for everyone, you and the birdies. :happy:

Hahaha! You GO Maya! something just told me that anyone who was rude to you or gave you a hard time would regret it! As far as people thinking I am too "into" my birds and give them way too much, or whatever....I always take that as a compliment. Yes, I love my birds.....they bring me alot of joy and laughter.....ok maybe sometimes some gray hairs too! and a few bites here and there. Everyone has something in their life that interests them alot and is their passion and something they love. I happen to think birds is a good one! Gotta admit.....they are very interesting creatures, and there is so much more to learn about them and know and it never gets boring!.....they are very different from other pets....only ones with feathers and the only ones that can learn to speak our language!
I have been sick for about week now.....on my last day off of work, I just layed on the couch all day and I had a fever. Ivy came over to me and just sat on me for hours.....then she tried climbing on my head and trying to get on my face.....she knows how to make me smile even when I'm sick! I bet that rude guy doesn't even know how to do that for someone! Yeah, he picks on birds and people who have them because the birds are smarter than him! :rotfl

[maya_exquisite]

^ :rofl:

Well, this is the way I see it... people should treat me the way I treat them. I'm a nice person, I like to think. So whenever anyone treats me less than that or is rude or mean, I ream them. And they will never forget it. There should be no reason for anyone to treat me rudely or mean - and if you so happen to choose to treat me that way, you get it 10 fold. :rotfl

Back when I was in college and working at a retail store (I had been there for like 2 1/2 - 3 years already) I was a key carrier. I opened/closed the store, did paperwork, money drops, etc. When the registers reach a certain cash amount, you have to do a mid-day bank drop. So one day that's what I was doing. I was sitting on the floor and counting out the cash to do a mid-day. The fairly new assistant manager came up to me and was like "What are you doing?" in a somewhat snappy tone. I looked up at him and said "What do you THINK I'm doing?" and went on to tell him how long I've been working there and to pretty much STFU without using bad words (after all, it was a work environment). Ever since then, I ignored him and never gave him the time of day. From that point on, he worked months and months to try to earn my respect back. I'd say it took a good six months or more when I finally would talk to him casually - and by that time, he got transferred out to another store. :rotfl Then like a year later, one of my friends was still working with the company and she ran into the guy. She asked him if he missed our store. He said he did, but he missed ME most of all and was so upset that he had finally become "okay" with me and they yanked him out. :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

But yeah, people generally DON'T mess with me. I mean, I have these big doe eyes and little button nose (bf calls me Mogwai *lol*)... but for some reason, I just usually don't get messed with. I definitely think it's a good thing because I have always been able to defend my friends and loved ones like a pit bull. And most of my friends are just "too nice" or softspoken, so I'm their backbone.

[bookworm0550]

wow maya, i'd hate to run into you in a dark alley, that's for sure. lol, you are one feisty hen!!! you and shay would get along great since he's a pit bull himself. that's the nickname his friends gave him cuz he's got a temper. I am seriously one of those soft spoken people.

I think it is a mainland thing w/ the whole cat/bird line. i don't know why.

yeah, that rep, he's not the greatest guy. there's so many stories about him. He's actually dating a coworker of mine and so, that's how I know. she even told me today that he, himself, can't handle much teasing so she doesn't know why he didn't just shut up. oh well, i'm over it now.

Pips mom, you are def right in that birds are not a bad hobby at all. I learn something all the time and I'm always doing something bird related. my little babies make me very happy. i forget about the bad day, the negativity that surrounds me. Pets are amazing cuz they live in the moment, which we as humans don't always do that. So when I'm w/ them, I value our time together, I live in the moment. And I cherish it cuz you know never know how much time you have left w/ your fids, even when they annoy the heck out of me.

Seriously, because of my birds, I don't go out w/ my friends and get wasted all the time anymore (and when i do go out, i really watch my drinking) cuz i know the next day, hangover or not, I have to get up and take care of them cuz they rely on me. I would feel awful sleeping in late, waking up, realizing they are hungry, feed them, and go back to bed cuz I'm too hungover or tired. And it's the weekend and that's when I have the most time to spend w/ them. Plus all my party money, I would rather take that money and spend it on bird toys and treats. And really expensive sushi and oysters w/ the bf ;) yummy....makes me hungry now

[Gill]

Sorry to hear this, some people just dont listen to that voice in their head that tells them to stop before they started.

My boyfriend tells me all the time that if we broke up i'd never get another boyfriend because of my two and nobody on this earth would put up with their noise (apart from me and all other bird owners which i reminded him) and that upset me, but then if a man doesnt accept the way I live my life I suppose he isnt worth it!

Try not to let him get to you, he obviously isnt enjoying life so wants to make people who do feel bad!

[Pips mom]

Gotta love that "Maya" attitude! When I was young, I was the quiet one who never spoke up and went to a corner feeling bad when I got picked on. I found that over time, you grow....you learn, and you see how people are, and get a little tougher as you age! You ALWAYS have to remember....who you are, and that you are a kind, caring, good person, and always be proud of that and who you are and NEVER let anyone make you feel bad about who you are because that is just crap and people will try to bring you down.....don't let them! You gotta be able to just look them in the face and smile and say......hey, ya know what??? I am happy with my life, my birds, whatever......and if someone else isn't happy about it.....too bad for them! They obviously have a problem, and guess what? It's THEIR problem, and not yours. My best friend always used to tell me.....never let people give you their problem! Ever see those stickers that say "Mean people suck"??? and Maya is right......people will sit back and take notice and respect you more for not putting up with being treated badly or unfairly.
See.......when I hear stories like this, it makes me mad because this was me exactly when I was your age. I put up with that crap, I took it....just like you. But the great thing about getting older is that you learn alot more about people and situations like this and you change and you become more proud of yourself.....especially in situations like these, where you can give it right back to that person......in a nice way, and let them know....who the *%$# are you to give me crap? When you can do this happily and show them they aren't going to ruin your day or your mood or affect you in any way.....then you won! and they lost! :nyah: So you are the winner, they are the loser.....so smile! and be happy! :D

[Eliza]

It's funny -- my friends all act like my pets my children. Sure, I go on about them but not all CRAZY like. Most of my family, friends and co-workers are animal friendly so they laugh at the silly stuff that pets do or are sympathetic when one is ill, etc. But it's strange to me when people ask about my "little feathered son" sometimes. What a riot, right?

Maybe I'm just blind to people thinking it's off b/c I've always been involved with animals somehow. I have friends who have a farm where they board/train horses. Her DH is on the road for a few months a year with the horses. They eat, sleep and breathe horses. I They are two of the lucky few who have been able to turn a passion and a talent into a business.

If you aren't leaving your home at all b/c of your pets or if you refuse to socialize with anyone b/c of your pets, then you might have issues. But if you simply enjoy being with your critters when you aren't at work and you do get out into the human world from time to time, why worry about what other people think?

Sorry about the PMS, too ((((HUGS))))... I suffer from PMDD. Pretty darn brutal.