How long before you let go?

[StormyMom]

Its been 2 weeks. It feels like a lifetime. Ive done all i can (or so it feels like it). Im still hitting areas when im free with flyers..but little by little, i feel im losing hope. I feel someone is attached to my babies, and just doesnt want to return them. Or by the time they SEE the flyers, same scenario.

I miss them so much. I feel like theres just a hole in my heart. Jaden has definately been helping me get thru the days, but theres never a minute that goes by when i dont think about Mika and Bailey. Are they safe, are they being taken care of, are they giving Mika his special diet of pellet roudybush, are they getting their fruits and veggies every day.. *sigh*

We were at the grocery store today, and Eric says "im sorry, but you have to accept the fact that you may never see them again, youre doing all you can, you cant blaim yourself" Needless to say i had a complete mental breakdown in the middle of the store.

But what if hes right. How long do i continue to search? Continue to worry? Hope for them to come home? Weeks? Months? Years?

I mean 3 years from now, would i still be putting up flyers? Hoping someone would hear my cry and return my babies?

My mother in law wants to buy me a bird in October if i dont find Mika or Bailey by then. Is that too soon? Will i feel like im replacing them? Giving up on them?

How long before you just, let go?

[linda040899]

How long before you just, let go?
Never! Having been a member of 911ParrotAlert for at least 4 yrs, I can tell you I've read about some real miracles. While it may seem like an exercise in frustration, I don't think you ever really give up hope and you keep looking. It can take several weeks, sometimes several months and I've read about cases where it took several YEARS!

I don't know that you will get them back, but I won't say for sure that you won't.

:grouphug1

[Pips mom]

If it was me, I know I wouldn't give up....not for a long time. People who's bird have escaped outside have gotten them back after a month or more! I would think the chances are better of you finding your two because you know they are with people. Ok, yes, the people that have them can get attached, BUT if they a heart enough to get attached to them......then how can they not consider you or the fact that these birds have been stolen from you. I think right now you really need to try to stay positive.....I know it's not always easy, but maybe right now is a good time to take a lesson from lovies......I always do this too when I find myself giving up too easily on something, I just look at Pip.....how determined he is and never gives up! SO strong willed and won't let nothing slow him down or get in his way!
A woman on another bird forum I belong to once lost her cockatiel outside, maybe over a year ago.....it was very inspirational all her posts and all her efforts to find her bird, and she never gave up! and she found her bird......I've seen it a few times where people have lost their birds outside and not given up, and found them.....during those times, they always had rough moments like yours where they would start to lose hope. One girl got a call about a bird who was found and they thought it was her bird....she went to see it and it wasn't her bird, but she brought the bird back home with her since the people who found it knew nothing about birds......having that bird I think made her even more sad and disappointed, and it's a really hard thing to go through. She also ended up finding her bird.
Maybe at the times when you start to feel down.....remember....they are still out there! and findable! It may take time, but I really feel it's too soon to start feeling like you want to give up! Your boyfriend really needs to be a little sympathetic to your feelings at this time and not say things like that.....accept the fact that you may never see them again?? NO, you don't have to accept that....I wouldn't. He may think he's being realistic, but sometimes attitude can make a BIG difference! Try to hang in there, ok? and don't lose hope....not yet.

[linda040899]

I'm going to add one more thing to what Pips Mom just said, and I completely agree with her.

Birds have incredible memories! Your birds will remember you if they see you again so I would be watching body language of every and any bird that is a Quaker or a Blue IRN. Perfect example of memory is when Lucky (B&G macaw that I lost to my ex-husband through a divorce agreement). Through a freak happening, she ended up coming to stay with me for several months when my ex moved out of state and did not take her with him. I had not seen her in several yrs but as soon as she saw me, there was no doubt that she remembered who I was!!!

[BarbieH]

When our cat Podunk ran away, I was able to keep the search up hard for about a month. That meant visiting the two local animal rescues about twice a week, and keeping up with the fliers, foot search, and a public access cable notice. But it was eating me up, and I wanted to stop crying -- sobbing -- every day. For my own sake, I had to stop the active search.

Get as many things as possible in place that you can keep out there, that can go more or less on autopilot. Do what you need to do, so you know that you did what you could do. Your own feelings will tell you when it's time to let it go. Don't give up hope, but don't hurt yourself. There's enough pain here that was wrought by others.

((((((Hugs))))))

[adibabee]

I feel so bad for you and what you are going through. After a couple of weeks of working as hard as you have been to find your babies, it must get discouraging. But, I wouldn't give up yet. The people who have your birds may be seeing your continued plea, and may still do the right thing. Taking care of birds is a lot of work, and after a few weeks of this, they may just decide that it's time for them to go home. Keep your info out there so that if this happens, they can find you.
I see your listings in the ads here locally, and I keep hoping to help you find your babies. You have to function and move forward, but don't give up. There's always hope.

[lemonypickett]

I can only imagine what you are going through. I had once lost a bunny and about 3 months later some neighborhood kids called me about him. I had fliers up the whole time. It just so happened that they were walking in the woods and saw my bunny in a cage in this man's backyard.

So, although I do agree with Barbie, for now you should do what you can to get the word out. I would put up fliers in all the petshops and vets offices. Maybe an animal lover will recognize them.

Were they banded? If yes, that may be a way that a vets office could check any new client birds that match the breeds. If the thief was going to sell them, maybe the new owner would bring them to a vet for a cheeckup.

Best wishes for you, and I am praying they find their way home. (((hugs)))

[LovelySydney]

You NEVER give up hope, there is always hope out there!! We had a family dog that ran away that was deaf & virtually blind. After 2 days we thought, how could we ever find him with his handicaps? Sure enough someone called (thanks to dog tags) & he had found Asti on the side of the road, he had been hit by a car but was STILL ALIVE!! Of course I know that is only two days, but that person could have left our Asti there, never called and moved forward - there is always ONE PERSON OUT THERE who will do the right thing and you cannot give up hope that they are out there, waiting to help!

I think that when your boyfriend made that comment that he didn't mean it to be rude or insensitive, I think he just wants to make sure you don't overwhelm yourself with trying to find them, does that make sense?? I think he wants to make sure you are being realistic (it doesn't mean you have to stop looking or posting or having hope!) and he just wants to see you mentally OK and physically OK, he doesn't want to see you run yourself into the ground with grief or worry or have too many sleepless nights. I know its hard to hear but truly, he probably doesn't understand the entire scope of the situation and what you are going through. Of course he loves you & wants to see you happy, but this is no easy situation to get over and he needs to understand that as well. (I hope that paragraph made sense!)


Im thinking of you always and your birds, and I am SO HAPPY Jaden found her way back to you, that in itself is a miracle and it is WONDERFUL that she has her mommy back & you your baby. Let her be your ray of hope and your constant reminder that there ARE people out there who can and will help, even if it takes more time than you'd except. (((HUGS HUGS HUGS)))

[ScurvyGoat]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I don't know what would happen if anyone ever took any of my babies. My heart and thoughts go out to you. <3 I hope you find them.

[Enko_chan]

I know that this is different, but when I was a teenager, I left the door open and my dog ran away. The worst part was, we were moving in a month, and when that time came I didn't want to go anywhere in case Pepper came back. My Dad told me it was time to let go, that someone had taken her in, and she had a nice new home now but we wouldn't be able to find her, and she wouldn't be able to find us.

We moved 3 miles away, up a big hill, into a place that was in the middle of the woods. Four months later Pepper came to our front door.

Don't give up, and don't stop putting the information out there! You never know, it is possible that the people who have your birds just haven't seen the info yet! Keep your eye out for "found" posters, and articles in your local paper. I know that Eric was just trying to be comforting, and probably feels like if it were him, letting go may start the healing process. However, remember that just because the pain may lessen over time, it doesn't mean you've given up. Keep looking and don't let the fire in your heart go out.

[thebubbleking]

I know it is hard and we are all here for you!
I personaly never give up, love has no time limit.

[LovelySydney]

Enko that is an amazing story - wow!!

[Flip]

{{{StormyMom}}}

Never give up hope! I keep looking on the Phoenix Kijiji and Craigslist sites, hoping to see a mention of your babies. We are all here for you, and will support you through this ordeal. I truly believe that they will come back to you safe and sound. Stay strong, keep doing what you need to do, but as the others said, don't forget to take care of yourself, too.