Having a Relationship with my Lovebird

[LoyaLover]

I had Birdy for more than half a year now. I got it from a local breeder who sold it to me only when its fully weaned.

When he first came, he was the most adorable thing and I could easily teach him how to climb up on the shoulders and do other tricks.

Months later, he started biting behaviors and it only got worst with time. Due to this big problem, none of my family members were keen to bring it out of his cage. So obviously when I had a full time job, I couldn't do much about it either.

Lately, I am taking a break from work. As much as I want to spend time with it outside the cage, it can be pissing when it bites you when its on your shoulder. (No it doesn't just sit there) :(

While I am seeing some improvements when I spend more time with it, playing with it, I still get random bites here and there. It can be very irritating at times.

As i read up more about Lovebirds, I noticed that Lovebirds don't just bite without a good reason.

One thing I noticed about mine is that everytime it bites all of a sudden when you are scratching its head, it means that he wants to poop and he knows that its pissing when he poops everywhere. How can I change this behavior of his?

2ndly, I also realised that my birdy bites when I try to scratch its head while its eating. If this is normal I can understand. But I also noticed that when ever it does a trick right, or hears a clicker, it bites when you get close. It wants a treat. I don't know why, but I was wondering, could it be that he isn't enjoying the trainings and to him its just a activity to win some food? I do give it plenty of food in its cage.

[michael]

I had Birdy for more than half a year now. I got it from a local breeder who sold it to me only when its fully weaned.

When he first came, he was the most adorable thing and I could easily teach him how to climb up on the shoulders and do other tricks.

Months later, he started biting behaviors and it only got worst with time.....

....As i read up more about Lovebirds, I noticed that Lovebirds don't just bite without a good reason.

One thing I noticed about mine is that everytime it bites all of a sudden when you are scratching its head, it means that he wants to poop and he knows that its pissing when he poops everywhere. How can I change this behavior of his?

2ndly, I also realised that my birdy bites when I try to scratch its head while its eating. If this is normal I can understand. But I also noticed that when ever it does a trick right, or hears a clicker, it bites when you get close. It wants a treat. I don't know why, but I was wondering, could it be that he isn't enjoying the trainings and to him its just a activity to win some food? I do give it plenty of food in its cage.

Hi LoyaLover. ... Sounds like Birdy has fully matured and may now have some hormonal influences going on there. ... All this is quite normal. ...Do you know Birdy's gender and species? ... Peachface/Fischer's?

While lovebirds bite for many reasons, they do so mostly to protect themselves and their environment. For learning, they have no choice but to use their beaks. If your trying to form a relationship, you must respect those natural instincts, and simply do your best to avoid being bit.

If I understand correctly what your saying in that "he knows that its pissing when he poops everywhere", then thats most likely not the case. Fact is, lovies tend to poop about every fifteen minutes or so, and for the most part can care less about where they are when it happens. ... I know mine don't, and they like me!....:x.....Can you change this? ... Its possible, but that will take plenty patience on your part to learn his or her body language.

Keep those fingers away from Birdy's dinner plate! ... There are far and few birds that will not bite when they feel your going after their food. ... While thats not saying some birds won't eventually share a close meal with you, once again, its only natural they defend their livelyhood. Lets just say, that even though you did give it to them, feeling thankful about it is not a concept born within their avian anatomy.

As for "clicker training". ... For some parrots, this type of training works well. For others with a few extra hormones floating around, they may take that clicker sound as something similar to whats refered to as a "clicky dance". ... That in itself could cause some confusion.

Hopefully some others can share their input. ..Please keep us posted!........:)

[Enko_chan]

Hello and welcome! I look forward to hearing more about your lovebird and... maybe seeing photos?

As for your predicament...

As our birds age, they go through many hormonal changes. With a human being's 80 odd year lifespan, and the long childhood and adolescent time periods that we go through the change seems gradual. With a parrot, it is very fast and very extreme. It is sounding to me like your bird is going through some major inner changes. This will even out with time. Do you know the gender of your bird? If your bird is a hen, she will go through periods of time when she is "nesty" and afterward will go right back to being sweet.

Some young birds that enjoy being petted and handled a lot when they are young do not enjoy it so much as adults. Many birds continue to love being held once the turbulence of their adolescence is over with, others do not.

As you have mentioned your bird biting you when you are scritching him around his head, I wanted to share with you something I have noticed over the years of having birds. All birds do this at some point, to some extent. Some don't do it hard and it may go unnoticed and not even be called biting, and sometimes the bird will learn not to do it with their human friend... but if you ever watch the preening ritual between two parrots, the one being preened always seems to lash out, in a seemingly violent and angry fashion, and nip or bite the other bird's feathers. I'm not sure why they do it. Perhaps because their partner hit a sensitive spot? I am not sure, but I used to wonder at my birds who would bite me and then instantly lower their head and raise their feathers to invite more scritching immediately after they hauled off and bit me! When they do this to us, there are no feathers for their beak to latch onto, and they end up biting our skin. I have come to believe that this is not a personal attack, nor does it have a deep hidden meaning that indicated our bird doesn't like us! Its one of those things we have to work with our bird to change or, at least, to manage.

It is very good that you are paying close attention to your bird's body language. That is a great way to begin. The better you understand his/her way of communicating, the better chance you have of continuing to form a healthy relationship in which your bird can really come to understand you. I am guessing that your bird has also become primarily bonded with you, which can make it difficult for other members of your family to spend time with him. If you can make sure you spend at least a half hour once or twice a day with your bird, just to make sure he continues to feel secure in that bond, that would be really helpful in riding this rocky part through. His/her hormones will eventually calm down and it will be easier to maintain your bond, rather than having to start all over again later on. My partner is bonded with our two lovebirds, and though he has both academic and professional full time careers, he will involve the birds in his "getting ready for the day" and "winding down from the day" routines even if he has no other time for them. Even though I spend considerably more time with them, he remains the primary object of their affections.

I know how difficult this can be. It is understandable to feel betrayed when something like this is going on. I am going through something like this with my parrotlet, Benny. My lovebird Freyja will be two years old soon, and half a year ago she decided she did not want to be scritched anymore- but remains a very sweet and lovable companion. In some form or another, relationships with parrots can change, but the change can be managed.

In addition to the answers you get on this thread, there is a great wealth of information on dealing with situations much like yours that you and your bird could value greatly from.

(Sorry if this is rambling and filled with typos, I'm recovering from a migraine so my vision is off and I'm about to fall asleep. Too tired for editing! )

[Birkah]

My lovie gets a wee bit nippy when he gets excited about playing. He just forgets to use his "good bird manners" :) I've found that keeping some toys and Legos (his favorite) around on my lap when he's in that mood helps a lot!

Cipher will nip at head scritches from time to time, but he's super-itchy and molting right now, so it's understandable. He doesn't bite hard, it's just a light beaking to let us know when to back off.

[Jally]

As you have mentioned your bird biting you when you are scritching him around his head, I wanted to share with you something I have noticed over the years of having birds. All birds do this at some point, to some extent. Some don't do it hard and it may go unnoticed and not even be called biting, and sometimes the bird will learn not to do it with their human friend... but if you ever watch the preening ritual between two parrots, the one being preened always seems to lash out, in a seemingly violent and angry fashion, and nip or bite the other bird's feathers. I'm not sure why they do it. Perhaps because their partner hit a sensitive spot? I am not sure, but I used to wonder at my birds who would bite me and then instantly lower their head and raise their feathers to invite more scritching immediately after they hauled off and bit me! When they do this to us, there are no feathers for their beak to latch onto, and they end up biting our skin. I have come to believe that this is not a personal attack, nor does it have a deep hidden meaning that indicated our bird doesn't like us! Its one of those things we have to work with our bird to change or, at least, to manage.



I wondered if this behavior was present in most birds, because Peanut does this a lot and I was always wonder why. It makes sense that he would nip if I hit a tender feather, but not if it was helping. Another mystery! LOL

Anyway, I also wanted to say more about what Kristi had touched on relationships with our birds changing.......I have a blackmasked lovebird that I got from a pet store an entire year ago. Our relationship is a very strained one where he only allows me to pick him up with a perch and I'm not allowed to touch him at all, but he will seek me out and come sit with me. I have accepted this because any relationship with him is better than none.

It sounds as if your relationship with your lovie was put on hold for a bit due to his biting issues... start again as if you just brought him home. Slowly try to build up his trust of you, talk to him, etc etc. He should come around with time and patience.

As to the biting while sitting on your shoulder, some people don't allow their birds on their shoulders, but I've always had a hard time saying no to mine who do want to sit there. So, instead of them just sitting there and biting my ears or neck (which can be very painful if he hits just the right spot!), I make toys for him to play with and chew up while on my shoulder. A favorite toy is a spring clothespin. He tries and tries to get it off of my shirt. But, you must supervise so he doesn't get the spring out or get his foot/beak caught in it.

Good luck and welcome to the forum!

[Enko_chan]

Jally's got a good point. A few good points, really. I made a necklace for my birds to go nuts over when they first came. My birds are allowed on my shoulders so long as they do not bite, and they will step up or come down when asked. This is something you'll have to work on now and decide how to proceed. That necklace and gentle "NO BITE" and avoiding the bite when possible seemed to work for my lovies.

Benny, my parrotlet, is the one who really bites hard in the midst of scritches, and I've just learned to watch his body language and avoid the beak connecting with my skin. When I can. My hands are covered with little scars (and some not so little ones, he can really tear human skin!) There is no changing this one. We've taken to calling him "Benny Banner: The Liliputian Hulk" on account of his green color and that he goes, in less than a second, from being the sweetest most personable bird you've ever met to the most vicious, frightening and murderous creature there ever was under 30 grams.

Odinn, one of my lovebirds (definitely male) runs hot and cold. He was parent raised in a loving home, but not much handled. There have been times that he would lay on his back and let me tickle his tummy, and kiss his feet... but those times are long gone now. He will come to me when he's playing in the room and hang out, but he has never allowed head scritches. He hates fingers, and I think, always will- but will step up on an arm or open palm. I've learned to just take it as it comes with him. He is a very nervous bird, but also a sweet and loving one. He has never bitten out of fear or anger, even though he is VERY SCARED a lot of the time. We were on the friendlier end of the spectrum with Odinn until recently, when he was injured and bleeding. I had to restrain him to clean the wound and he has been shaking and huffing every time I come around. Anytime Odinn needs to be captured (to get him home) or restrained, I do it, because he has a closer bond with my husband and I do not want to foul that up. Sometimes it really just takes a lot of patience, gentle work, and acceptance of the boundaries the bird has set.