I need help making a decision

[Carole]

I have a pair of lovebirds that I adopted in May, 2010. They were 4 months old at the time. They are funny and I love them, but I have a problem.

Last September (2010) I was involved in a very horrific car crash. A HUGE tractor trailer ripped the passenger side off my car while I was in the car. The car was lifted off the ground twice and during it all I didn't know if I'd be dead or alive when it was over. The result of that is that I suffered some physical injuries and also suffered acute trauma. After a period of time (I think it's 60 days), they classify it as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am still seeing a trauma specialist to work on this issue.

The problem is that one of the symptoms of PTSD is the inability to tolerate noise. As I'm sure those of you who have lovebirds know, they do make noise. I have a friend who has offered to take them, but I know she will probably re-home them and then I'll never see them again. I really don't want to give them up as I love them, I just can't tolerate the noise. This is causing me even more stress.

I am going to take them to her house tomorrow for boarding along with my cockatiel as I'm having outpatient surgery on my knee on Wednesday and I know I won't be able to take care of them while I'm recovering. I had told her that I was going to give them up, but now I'm having second thoughts. If she were going to keep them and I could visit them, I might not feel so bad. But the thought of not ever seeing them again is devastating. Is there anyway I can train them to not be as noisy? I know they are still like little kids since they are only 1-1/2 years old, and they love to be curious and that doesn't bother me. It's just the noise issue.

If anyone has any advice, suggestions, whatever please help me. I want to do what is right for them. I'm wondering if I put them in another room where I am not present (right now they are in my spare bedroom which is my office), perhaps they would quiet down. I'm thinking of getting some kind of table and putting their cage in my dining room. Those of you who have had lovebirds for a while, could you tell me if this will help?

Thanks,
Carole

[Mummieeva]

I am sorry to hear about your accident. How about having your friend promise that if for any reason she can not care for them that she returns them to you? Or tell her that this is temporary. maybe later down the road you can take them back. That would be my advice. You can try them in another room but they might just get even louder. I wish you good luck in your recovery.

[lemonypickett]

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I kept Eddie and Jimmy in my office (where I spend little to no time) for about 6 months a year ago....

They are normally super noisy (you may have heard me on here complaining).... I did not find them noisy in there.... (they did spend alot of time humping the happy hut though)

I think you should try them in another room first, taking them out a few times a day to play, and they will likely be quiet when out.

As to the PTSD... (I work with a bunch of veterans that suffer from it) think positive and do your best to help yourself heal. A friend of mine once said that as soon as he decided he wasn't going to let the fear control him anymore, he started to recover.

Good luck, please keep us posted....

[Carole]

Thanks to both of you. I ended up crying myself to sleep last night over this. I am going to leave them at the birdie sitters for a week or so until my knee has healed enough for me to drive. And then I'm going to bring them home where they belong. I'm going to try putting their cage in the dining room. The more I thought about it, the more I think that when I'm in the same room, they want to play. And Mommy can't always play as I do websites from home and often I have updates to do for clients. I've found that when I take a break and go into the living room, they do quiet down. So I'm going to try what you both said and see what happens. I just can't imagine my life without them. I guess in a way they are like kids, they can be a pain you know where at times, but at other times, they are so adorable and funny that I just love them to bits.

[linda040899]

Carole,
Your decision sounds like the best game plan possible. You're right. Children are noisy and can be very trying for their parents (been there/done that!) and our birds are family. I, personally, don't know that I could make any kind of decision to rehome any of mine, even though I have quite a few....

Good luck with your surgery and please keep us updated on what's going on. :)

[Carole]

I took them to the birdie sitter's today and it turned out that she had already found another home for them. I said no. I told her that I loved them too much to part with them, and I had a good cry. She understood. I think I'm just going through too much right now. I know they always say that God doesn't give you anymore than you can handle, but right now I think I have too much between the car accident and now the surgery. But I also know that at the end of the storm is a golden sky, and two weeks from now I'll be feeling better physically. Right now I'm tired as I don't get proper sleep with the pain in my leg. Once i have the surgery tomorrow and it heals, I know I'll feel differently and will want all my little ones back.

I am going to try them in the dining room as they like to look out the window and the dining room has a nice window with lots of light :)

When I went to get them out of their carrier at the birdie sitters, they both jumped on my arm and ran up my shoulder and sat there. They know where they belong and so do I :)

Thanks for being here,
Hugs,
Carole

[Mummieeva]

Good luck and a speedy recovery.:hug:

[Carole]

Thanks, Mummieeva. I have everything all ready for when I get back home. I got some yogurt and made jello last night, so if I don't really feel like eating regular foods, I have light things. I've never had general anesthesia before, so I don't know how my body will react to it. It is very sensitive to drugs; my poor doctors end up switching my medications as my body just can't take certain things. I'm hoping that I come through this well, and can just come home and take the pain meds they gave me.

I miss the little ones already. It's too quiet in here :)

Carole

[Mummieeva]

I too am sensitive to meds. So I know the worry. I had general once and was rather funny coming out of it my husband told me.lol. I did ok afterward but I hated the liquids only stuff they gave me afterwards.

[Carole]

I made it through the surgery OK. The worst part was getting the IV in as I am a total needlephobe. I wish they'd do that after they knock me out :)

I can walk without crutches. The only problem is that the pain medication they gave me makes me sleepy. So I'm glad the birdies are at the sitters.

Carole

[Carole]

A little update :)

I had the stitches out last Tuesday, and on Thursday felt well enough to drive to my friend's house to get the birds. And yes, all three of them came home with me. When I went to drop them off before the surgery, she said that perhaps I just needed a break with all that's been going on, so to feel free to leave them with her for a few weeks if I needed to. But as I recuperated from the surgery, and could wean myself off the painkillers, I really missed them. It was just TOO quiet in here, LOL :)

For some reason, Adagio and Dolce seem quieter now. Maybe somehow they understand what I was going through. Right now they are playing in the play area I created for them. I also ordered them and Dundee some new toys from Foster and Smith while I was recuperating, so they have new things to play with. I am so glad now that I didn't give them up.

Thank you all for being here for me. All of your suggestions and encouragement were a really big help. I think I was just so overstressed over the thoughts of the upcoming surgery (it was my first surgery), and although I was trying not to let it bother me, I realize now that it did. I'm glad it's over and I'm really glad I didn't give up my two little sweethearts :)

Carole

[lemonypickett]

That sounds like as happy an ending as could be!

So glad to hear it is going well Carole

[penelope's person]

Glad to hear you didn't give your birdies up :)

EMDR therapy (eye movement desensitization and reprogramming) has been shown to work well with PTSD and tends to work more quickly than the traditional-style trauma therapy. It might be a good thing to look into as an addition to therapy.

Anxiety sucks! Hoping you continue to heal :)

[Carole]

Thanks Laura and Penelope. We are going to be doing EMDR starting at my next session. We had discussed it and then the knee injury and surgery made me cancel everything for September. So I'm slowly getting all my appointments caught up and will begin seeing my trauma specialist again next week :)

Carole:)