My Lovebird Dont want to know me!?!?

[Sophies22222]

Hi iM Sophie and im new. ive got two 3 mouths old lovebirds called Polo And Skittles and when i got them i did everything the book said about taming them but im seriously about to give up. They dont seem to want to know me. When i put my hand in the cage they go mental and they bite alot. Ive read everything on them to see what i can do and when they are out the cage they fly off into a corner and dont come anywhere near me when i go towards them they fly away. They have never even sat on my hand so i cant actuallyl get close to them. I duno what to do?!?! im actually thinking off rehomeing them to someone who could handle them better them i could. i really dont want to get rid of them though. Can anyone help??
Sophie

[Janie]

Hi Sophie and welcome!

How long have you had these two? Do you know what sex they are? Are they clutch mates? Were they parent raised and never socialized by humans? If that is the case, it will take time to tame them and while they might never be as tame as you'd like, they will get much better with TIME and PATIENCE. First off, I'm assuming you have them caged together. I'm sure that makes them very happy but it also will mean that they consider each other their flock and it will take lots of time for them to consider you as part of their flock. I would work with them, one at a time by removing one, going into a small area like a bathroom (be sure to cover mirrors and close the lid on the "john") and keep the room dimly lit, sit on the floor and talk quietly and gently to the bird. I'd try that for about 15 minutes, every single day. After working with one, put him back in the cage and do the same with the other. Have they had a wing clip? For their safety and for easier taming, I do suggest you have that done. I'd also recommend that you have a good Avian vet.

If your hope was to have a very tame little bird, getting only ONE would be easier as far as making it your flock mate but even with only one, it would still take lots of time, in most cases, to make the bird as tame as you want. The background of these birds has a lot to do with how long it's going to take. I have a single male (older) lovie and he is my flock mate. I just bought two more, male clutch mates that are 4 months old. They were hand fed from about 10 days old and they are tame. They would, without question, prefer each other over me but that is what I wanted and that is why I got two this time.....so that they would enjoy each other in the same cage but also accept me to some degree. I handle both of them every day, several time a day. If I did not handle them, I feel sure they would revert and both be very wild in a short period of time. It is their nature and they are wild birds that we've made pets out of but nature is powerful and their wild instincts are always there.

There is so much great information on this forum and the first place I'd suggest you start reading is the section, "Your Attention Please". From there, you can check out the behavior section and read current and old post. I've read one very good book about lovebirds, "The Lovebird Handbook" by Vera Applegate but I can tell you that I've learned far more here, on this forum, than in any book. We have a large group of lovie owners and just about every experience possible has been shared here. Hopefully, you'll find some great ideas to aide you with the taming process from reading what others have done successfully. Again, time and patience are a must. Three month old lovies are still very young and progress is likely if you go about it in the right way. Good luck!

[Sophies22222]

Thank you so much for all your advise. No they havent been clipped but i am definalty going to look into it as soon as possible. ive had them since they were 10 days old, i have no idea the sex. Yes they are clutch mates and the parents were in a avaries with others and we were told them were social with humans all the time. Thanks again!! Will let you know how it ends up. Any other advise will be great. Thanks
Sophie

[Sophies22222]

Yes sorry typed it wrong. 10 weeks not days. i wasnt sure weather vets do it or you do it yourself as i saw a link on dis site to anoter site telling you how to do it. But i thought i'd would much rather a vet do it. Yes they were headfed.

[Mummieeva]

Do not give up. it takes time and patience. Try eating next to their cage and talking to them often. I had a pet store bought bird and took 3 months for her to let me hold her without touching. It takes time but is possible.



Steph

[Elle]

Hello Sophie and welcome to the board.

I have a year old lovebird that was not tames when I first got her. We started working together very shortly after her arrival. What we did is lock ourselves in the bathroom and work on the up command. I wa very lucky, even though she was not socialised, she had no clue how to bite.
As it was mentioned, you want to work with one bird at the time. It may be very hard in the beggining because htey will call to each other and try to make contact with each other if they are seperated. They will calm down after a few days.
I find my birds (I've tames many over the years) do better on my shoulder then on my hands in the beggining. It's a matter of getting them there.
You want to reward them at the end of every sessions and you want to end the session on a positive note. I would suggest to offer them millet only after your sessions and possibly before putting them back in their cage. Don't forget to praise them a lot. Parrots respond to praise very well and the the excitement in your voice.
I find getting their attention and curiosity during the training sessions really helps. What I do is once the bird is on my shoulder, I roll a tooth pick between my lips. It takes a few days but eventually they will try and take them away from you and chew them to pieces.

When you are not in training sessions with them, you want to take to them, whistle to them and even sing to them if you want to. Interact as much as you can with them. A lot of praise, sound excited, anything that works to get their attention.
You might also want to avoid moving your hands quickly around them for now. And of course, the wing clip will help a lot.
It is very possible to get them tame. It will take a lot of time and a lot of patience. Don't give up now :)

[Sophies22222]

Cheerz, yeah i would much rather someone do it for me. jsut a few questions. is it expensive? do the feathers grow back?? And a totally different subject. Right.... My birds eat there sand paper on the floor. i put a new sheet in one mornign and that night a huge corner was missing, it was shredded more chewed off. is this normall?

[Elle]

The feathers will grow back. They go through a big molt twice a year. I doubt it is an expensive procedure but I really don't know that. I clip my own bird.
I wouild remove the sand paper from the bottom of the cage and put in white paper. gravel and sand can be deadly for parrots, including lovebirds. It can obstruct their digestive system and cause death.
Lovebirds will chew on paper and anything else as a matter of fact. Paper can encourage nesting behavior. you want to be careful with that too. Your birds may be a little young to nest but we never know. :)

[Sophies22222]

What do you mean by white paper?? plain paper or special bird white paper??

[Mummieeva]

Do they have a grate on the floor of their cage? if not plain printer paper cna be used. if their is a grate newspaper cna be used. My birds do not have anything with sand in their cages at all. Not on floor or perches. A wing trim is around 10-20 dollars i think. You can ask about it when you get them a check up. Birds like all pets need to get look overs by a vet. Avian vets are best for birds as other types might not know what to test or look for.


Steph

[Elle]

What do you mean by white paper?? plain paper or special bird white paper??

Sorry, plain paper. ordinary paper, paper towel. I woud avoid anything with ink.

[Janie]

Sophie, they need to have a cage with a grate on the bottom and under that grate, you can use newspaper, white copy paper, white paper towels. Doesn't matter since they can't get at the paper through the grate. I don't know how large your cage is but with two in the same cage, they need enough room for several toys, food/water dishes, perches, etc. and to be able to flap their wings w/o touching any bars.

A wing clip runs $12.00 per bird when done by my avian vet. I have one specialty pet store in my area that charges $4.00 per bird but does my birds free because I've bought so much stuff there, including a very big cage. I agree, you'll want to have it done by an expert first and then, with instructions, do it yourself it you're comfortable with that. Me??? I would never do it and would rather pay to have it done. I'm a big chicken when it comes to that.

If you got your birds at 10 weeks old and they were hand fed, I'm surprised that you've had no success in handling them but I can assure you that a wing clip will help. Mine were tame from the beginning and they had a mini/baby clip by my breeder BUT, they were still able to fly up, at least 8 feet off the ground, and would fly away from me when ever they could. I had them re-clipped and that has helped so much. They are very happy to ride on my shoulder. They CAN fly but only about a foot or two UP and then glide down. A wing clip should never take away their ability to glide slowly to the ground.....you don't want them thumping straight down.

[Sophies22222]

well ive spoken to my vet as i cant find a avian vet and she said that she wouldnt recomend clipping there wings for lots of reasons and just sed about patience and time (which i alreayd knew) and thigns on how to tame them etc... she also said that lovebirds are never going to be affectinate birds and are more a pet to look at. but my firneds bird its so cuddly it flys over to her and goes onto her shoulder and snuggles in her hari and there are lots of posts of this site aswell.. i just dont know hat to think anymore.

[LauraO]

Sophie: Welcome to the board. You've gotten a lot of great advise so far. I just wanted to say that your vet isn't really making any sense. First off, a wing clip is necessary for not only helping tame and build a relationship with your bird but for their safety as well. I'm also a little upset with the comment that lovebirds are just pets to look at. Yes, some lovebirds take ALOT of time and may never be cuddly but your vets comment is indicative of the misunderstanding that so many people have about lovebirds and their beauty and intelligence.

I got my first lovie, Zimber, six years ago and he was so scared and hateful of hands and humans that he would dive bomb off high cabinets and the drapes, thumping hard on the ground just not to be near us. Over the years we've been patient with him and while we still can't really touch him, he is one of the sweetest, smartest, and funnest lovebirds we have. He loves to cuddle and hang out on our shoulders, play kissy face, bites toes, and preen hair. He is stick trained so we use a perch or dowel to move him around and I wouldn't trade him for the cuddliest bird in the aviary. The point is that birds are not just to look at but it is up to us to adjust our expectations of them and to work hard and build a unique and loving relationship with them.

Please don't give up on your lovies and take great joy in the small steps. They are very intelligent and unique creatures that need TONS of attention and out of the cage time.

Good Luck and by the way that is Zimber in my avatar, on his stick :D

[Janie]

Sophie, talk to another vet......one who will do a wing clip. I know that in some areas of the world, there is controversy about wing clips but when done properly, it is in no way harmful to the bird, the feathers will grown back to full flight and it really is a safety factor for birds if they are ever out of a cage. Even my older bird who is completely tame and is my "shoulder" birdie, the one time I let him get too flighted, I almost lost him to the big bad world outside. A window gets left open, a door.....they can be gone before you blink. He would never leave me intentionally but when they accidently get out, it's very scary for them and I'm not sure if they CAN find their way back. Even inside, a bird is MUCH safer with a wing clip. Ceiling fans being just one reason for that.

Your vet has an opinion about lovebirds as birds to look at and that they are not tamable but I don't share that opinion at all. Maybe a finch but not a lovebird. Almost everyone on this forum has at least one lovie that can be handled and many of us can handle and interact with all of our birds. I promise you that time, patience and a wing clip can change your existing relationship with your birds.....for the better! :)

[Mummieeva]

Sophie I have 2 birds who prove the vet wrong. While Baggy does not like hands she loves to be on my shoulder preening me. Whisper my 4 month old loves scritches and pets. I do not have my birds clipped at moment but will very soon. The only time I might suggest not getting a clip is if you have a cat that is were birds will be let out often. A clip will do a huge diffrence in taming. There is a link in the Attention section about finding a avian vet.Do not give up. it can happen.


Steph

[Sophies22222]

Thank you for all your advise, im from the uk though so it might be a problem.

[Janie]

Sophie: Heather, a member here, is also from the UK. I think Bella is too but I'm not sure about that. I know that we do have more than one member from the UK. Heather made a post today about DNA results. I think it's in the miscellaneous section but if not, look around at the other sections and you'll find it. You can send her a PM (private message) and exchange locations and maybe she will be able to advise you in your area. Heather has 6 lovebirds and does have a vet. If you need help sending a PM, let us know and we'll tell you how to do that.

[LoveBugs]

Hiya!!

When I got my first lovie, he came w/ wings unclipped. At first he would fly to the room I would be in, just so he wouldn't be alone...but then one day he flew straight into a mirror. Unfortunately, he wasn't hurt, but that scared the beezeesus out of me. So I got his wing clipped. (I called around, some places cost $27 (probably because they wernt avian vets), but I found an avian vet who did it for $7)

Ever since then, all my birds are clipped, mainly so they dont hurt themselves, (ceiling fans, mirrors, walls, open door, etc.) Also, w/ the clip, tamingis so much easier as they need to depend on YOU. One of my lovie won't step up. I tried to teach her, but she either fell asleep on her perch, or bite the stick. So I gave up. She, however, will either crawl up on your pant legs to get a ride, or stand still and wait for you to pick her up.

However, now I clip their wings because I do NOT trust others to do it!!! (My conure, for example, right now has all her flight feathers clip, so if she falls, she just PLOPS down to the ground. I even had to put some floor pillows on the floor besides her cage, because sometimes when she's monkeying around, she will lose balance and fall right down! It's a pretty simple procedure. At first they bit me like a she-devil,but now since I'm fast at it, they dont mind. I take them to the bathroom, drape them with a towel, carefully pick them up, spread their wings, hold it to the light to check for blood feathers, and CLIP! gone! I only clip a feather or two at a time...Because I definitely do NOT want to over clip. Also so they can have time to adjust to their new wings.

My other lovies is hand shy, but as soon as an arm is offered to her, she will jump up and crawl up to your shoulders!

Both of my lovies are cuddle bugs!! They love climbing in my shirt to nap, play, preen my hair, nip my ears, and give me kisses!!! Even the one that is hand shy!!!

[Z28Taxman]

I too have a lovie that would prove your vet to be very wrong. Ditto would love to be with me 24/7. One of his favorite things is to snuggle up in my hand and take a nap. Then it's time for snuggles and skritches and just general fun as long as he can be with me.

He's fully flighted and can fly quite well but will only fly to get to me for the most part. Once he's with me he has no reason to fly anywhere, except back to the cage for a quick snack. But if he started flying around and being a danger to himself (flying into walls or windows, etc...) he'd be clipped too.

Don't give up on your little friend. Ditto is a better friend than any cat I ever had. 8) In fact he's sitting on my left thumb as i type this. :D

[Tiber]

i'm just letting ya know that there's another lovie to prove your vet wrong :) I got yoshi in Feb, she was born near christmas (So very young still) and in the begining we did have a hard time, mostly because i didn't understand birds and she was very hand shy... but now she'll want to be out wtih me all day long if i let her (I can't as i have a toddler, who just is too young, and so is she, but even so she comes out during his nap times adn once he's in bed), and she'll snuggle in my shirt, sit on my hand, cuddles under my neck, loves to be scratched all over the head. I NEVER thought any bird could be so cuddly! Dont give up! Clipping did help.. the vet had to clip her fully, cause she was such a strong flyer, and once she had two flight feather's in on each side she could practically fly anyways... She just couldn't get much higher than she could jump at that point but could go all the way across the room. Anyways, personally i would be concern with a vet that told me that, and would be keeping an eye out for one a little more expereinced with lovies.. but dont give up! two are will definately take a little longer than one tho! :) (oh btw, my husband's name is Crispolo and goes by Polo hehehe!)

[Rubygem]

First Welcome to the board...Second, you have been given a lot of great advice. Call around and see if you can locate a breeder, talk to the breeders in the local area and see what they think about wing clipping, and if any of them will do it for you. There are different ways to clip birds wings, and your vet might be thinking you are asking to take away all the flight. With that vet not being an Avian vet, they might not have ever seen a tame bird. It is up to you to find a vet that you and your birds are comfortable with. Third you need to work with the birds timeing, not your's...in other words spend time with them, talk to them, and watch their reactions. When the bird is ready to trust you then and only then can you get anywhere with them wanting to be with you.

The way that you describe your birds, you might never end up with snuggle bugs, but they were a responsibility you took on when you got them....Personally I don't feel rehomeing them because they weren't what you expected is fair to them or you. I think you need to research, and learn as much as you can, and learn to love them for being what they are. You brought them home, and I believe it is your responsibility to learn as much as possible, and that you need to be the one that works with them on their time. The breeder or who ever sold you the birds should have given you more information when you purchased them...IMO. Can you call the people you got the birds from and see if they do wing clippings?

I wish you luck with your new members, and I pray you don't give up on them....because I would hate for someone to just give up on me because I didn't do what they wanted.
Rubygem

[Sophies22222]

Cheerz, Yeah i will definalty look around to find a vet who i and the birds are comfrotable. For now ive just been reading as much as i can and just sitting with them talk and just reading by them. Odviously they are still very nervous and they get as far away as possible in the cage as they can.
But they are still very young. I also leave my hand in the cage for awhile to see if they jump on it or explore but again very nervous. I definalty not going to give up on them its just at the tiem i felt it was cruel keeping them if i could give them the care they needed and i am a person who hates to see them behind bars so i was thinking of giving the to someone who could take better care of them but i was just having a bad day. i will keep trying and be patience with them. it proberly would have been better just getting the one (Easier) but i love them both anyways.
I do have another problem though as i watch them sometimes i see that they hurt each other. i duno if they are just playing but im pretty sure there not. they bite each other and sometimes the other gives out a loud high pitch scream like noise. And sometimes it looks like its got pretty nasty. Is this normal??

[Janie]

Pairs, even bonded pairs, will occasionally have a spat or over preen each other but NO, it is not good for them to have these squabbles often. My two that are caged together almost never have any kind of squabble and I've never heard one cry out over something the other has done to hurt it or cause pain. They will nip at the others foot sometimes where they're after the same toy but it is NOT aggressive at all. Two females often do not get along in the same cage so if you've got two hens, it might be necessary to cage them separately and the sooner the better. If I had two, caged together, and saw any kind of aggressive behavior from one towards the other, I would separate them immediately. Lovebirds are small but they can do serious harm to one of their own or even a larger parrot when they are not compatible. If you are observing this behavior at all, it is something to worry about and if you're seeing it often, it could turn into a dangerous situation for one of the birds.

[Sophies22222]

Thanx i wil keep a serious eye on them. i think its just little arguements cus other times they feed each other and cant be seperated as they get upset and following each other. but im gunna keep a special on them
Fanx

[Elle]

I also leave my hand in the cage for awhile to see if they jump on it or explore but again very nervous

Try to present some millet to them on your hand or between your fingers. For now, I would serve it to them only when I work with them as a reward.

[Sophies22222]

What a difference. I had there wings clipped by a breeder and at first they were really quite and not them selves after abotu 10mins they were there chatty hyperatice selfs but very friendly. They jump on my hand sit on my shoulder. They fly away when nervous but hardly ever. There like complete different birds. They snuggle under my hair on my shoulder and love kisses. This has all happened in the last hour. Ive let them go to bed now i didnt want to over do it as little and offen better i wud of thought. But seriously Wow There are so sweet. But they are less cherpier. lol i mean they still cherp the house off but much less. I guess there prob abit in shook. Bless them. They got Millet after as a reward and they loved it.

[mjm8321]

Yep, it is amazing what a wing clip can do. They might be a little grumpy about losing full flight, but they'll get treats and extra attention from you and both you and they will benefit. I'm glad you found someone to clip their wings and now you'll be able to bond better with your little sweeties!

[Z28Taxman]

That's great news. Maybe soon you'll have a birdy sitting on your hand while you type, like Ditto is doing here right now!

[Mummieeva]

Yeah I am so glad it worked and wow it was fast. I know how it feels having doubts about caring well for them. I have a bird I was considering re-homing myself not to long ago. But I stuck with it and am very happy I did.


Steph

[LauraO]

Sophie: I'm glad to hear you got wing clips and it sounds like it's working out great. Sometimes young lovebirds will run away just cause they can or cause they're in a new environment. Congrats and keep up the good work :D

[Rubygem]

:happy: :happy: :happy:

Now it's time to build up that trusting bond...and you guys will be on your way to a wonderful relationship...
:cry: I always love a happy ending. :P

Rubygem

[Janie]

Good news, Sophie! :) Glad to hear that the wing clips helped....they usually do. :D

[Sophies22222]

Right, Now ive got that bit done. What do you think the best thing 2 do no is??? What should be the first thing i try to teach or in a way of taming them. i wantto ask you guys as you have experience with birds and all the books say different things??

[Elle]

The first thing I thought my bird is to "step up". You will have to work with one bird at the time, no more then 10 minutes at the time and you want to end on a positive note.
the goal is for your birds to automatically lift their leg up at the step up command. It should be second nature to them.
For this command, you want to reward them with praise. A lot of praise. I don't reward with food for this command. Don't worry, praise is as efficient as food. Birds love to praised!
You'll want to lock yourself in a quiet room with one bird at the time. show them your hand and say step up. If nothing happens, gently press under their bellie while repeating the command. They will climb on your hand. Then praise them a lot. Put them back and start again. If you don't feel comfortable using your hand, you can try with a dowel. Some birds respond better to that. Once they are familiar with the command and they feel more comfortable with you and your hands, you can switch to hands.
This is also a good time to start devolling a strong bond with your birds. Make sure you have fun and make sure they have fun. At the end of each sessions, you then can offer them millet or other treats that they like.

Again, have fun with it!