time to give up?

[DanWilson82]

Hi all, I was given a pair of Lovebirds 9 months ago now, as a birthday gift. First impression was what on earth am I going to do as I had no knowledge of keeping birds, or their needs whatsoever, but i've managed to keep them fed and watered and seemingly happy thanks to lots of internet browsing, book reading and human advice.

The time since has been a big roller coaster ride of ups and downs but sadly mostly downs when it's come to trying to befriend them. I am fairly sure they were plucked from a breeding flock from a pet shop and had little or no human interaction up until the point they arrived at mine. They both appear to be male as there has been no egg laying and on the surface they are quite placid little guys. They are not aggressive with me or with each other but the underlying fact remains that they are completely bonded to one another and they have absolutley no interest in spending any time with their owner unless forced into it.

The birds are let out daily and will find the highest perch possible and sit together watching goings on below. Not once in 9 months have they shown any signs of interest in being petted or getting to know me and to be honest i've started questioning if I can really face another 20 odd years of constant screeching, clearing up and cleaning out with no reward. The birds have been given heaps of attention and have always been looked after, and I have made every effort to talk to them and interact.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but the situation is really running me down and perhaps they would be better suited being reintroduced to a large caged flock and me starting over with a single hand reared bird.

Any advice appreciated :(

[lemonypickett]

I am sorry to read of your frustration, but have been faced with similar decisions myself.

Have you tried tempting them with millet spray? It is like birdie candy, and if you only give it to them by hand, that is often a good place to start.

Are their wings clipped? If no, that often makes a bird more "wild".

I will start with those two questions, and wait for your reply before I hit you with more :)

Hang in there, we will try and help you make some progress, and if not.... rehoming a bird if causing you great unhappiness is something you should not be ashamed of.

[DanWilson82]

Hi, thankyou for your reply!

I have given the birds millet on many occasions and they do love the stuff, they will take it from the hand but fly off straight afterwards, and this will only happen if I follow them from perch to perch until a time when I think they realise i'm not going to give up...

and that pretty much answers question number two, they have never been clipped and this was my last resort really. If I had this done would it actually proke more socialiable nature or would they still just do whatever it took to escape from my 'evil clutches'.

An interesting point is that one of the birds is far more accepting of me than the other. One is a little bit schitzo and will go absolutely mental when approached particularly if inside the cage. The other will step up onto my hand when requested, but is quite obviously doing it because it 'has to' rather than it wants to. Like I said before they are both reasonably placid and will step up but it all just seems very fake and a case of 'ok ill step up if you leave me alone' then back to the highest perch to be with each other away from the human.

I always wondered if I split them would they make an effort to interact but I would never want to break their obvious bond :confused:

[linda040899]

I understand your frustration and I have to say kudos to you for trying to become a member of their flock. Do I think your efforts will never be rewarded? No, I don't. However, I think a few more modifications might be necessary to encourage interaction between them and you.

While this community does not push flight feather clipping, it's a way to limit where your lovebirds can go. If they can't reach a high perching area (which all birds love), they will have to perch lower which will make it easier for you to establish a presence near them. You don't want to take away their flight ability completely so 5-6 flight feathers on each wing will most likely accomplish what you need. They should be able to take off and fly horizontally for a very short distance and then glide to the floor. The floor is not normally a favorite place to be and when they land there, you can offer either a hand or a perch for them to step up onto.

You can try to take them into a small room (bathrooms are great for this) and work on socializing them where there's not a lot of places where they can go. You can just sit comfortably and let them be on you so they can check you out without being afraid that you are going to grab/hold them. Having millet available is also a plus, as most birds absolutely adore it!

[lemonypickett]

You can seperate them to play with them independantly without affecting the bond. Do you have a little dowel stick you can use to work on getting them to "Step up"? Clipping the wings I do believe is important in the training phase because they will rely on you to get them around to where they need to go.

Make sure that is done properly (both wings clipped) and that they leave the secondaries alone so that the bird can still glide to the floor. If clipped too severly, they can hit the ground so hard they can injure their bums and damage the tail feathers so they all fall out (they will grow back)....

Do you have a local bird friend than can help you, or do you have a good avian vet near you?

[DanWilson82]

Thankyou guys so much for your words of advice. I think now is the right time to take the step of having them clipped as suggested, and using that time to force as much interaction as possible. I like the idea that they would be relying on me to gain access to their cage because they could no longer fly high enough.

I do have a perch stick which funnily enough they don't mind hopping onto, I would just desperately like to reach a point where one of them would fly over and land on me and even give me a nip on my neck, instead of the current situation where any contact really is pushed and they only interact when there is no escape...

If they still dispair of me after a couple of months clipped I will admit defeat and pass them onto someone who can gice them what they want but that would be a little bit heart breaking as the reason they are annoying me so much right now is because I care about so much! I will keep you updated on my progress, thanks again. :blush:

[personatus]

To be honest, I don't think everyones made for liking birds and sometimes, moving on is the best thing for everyone involved.

At the moment, I have no tame birds. They are all scared of me, i'm the big bad monster thats about to eat them. However, I do get a reward from them. Mass amounts of it.

I love listening to them, I love it when they wake me up in the morning, I love it when I'm woke up by squeaking chicks asking to be fed during the night, I love clearing up after them, I love how they can somehow throw their seed husks through a closed door and down 2 flights of stairs, I love all the money I blow on them, I love the stench of the soup they make in their water bowls, I love the determination they have when they chomp a hole straight through my skin. Love it all - that's my reward.

I personally feel, if you need the bird to interact with you in order to feel rewarded for your work, then it's not the bird you really want, it's the interaction. I think birds are one of the hardest domestic pet to bond with - not a challenge everyone is capable of. Maybe you would be better off with a single, hand tame bird or another animal all together? Maybe you could then find a loving home for them with someone who would be happy to keep them for the next 20 years without the need to tame them?

I respect you for trying and been realistic when it comes to your life with the birds. If you do decide to find them a new home, don't feel guilty about it, you are doing whats best for both you and the birds.

[linda040899]

One of the things I firmly believe is that humans should not form bonds with parrots. Humans become accepted as part of the parrot flock and that's the way it is here with all my tame birds. With my larger parrots, everyone is out together and I simply interact with whoever happens to be closest at the time. It's not a constant one on one interaction (for lack of a better term) but interaction that happens spontaneously and it's usually initiated by my parrots. They spend time with each other, as well as me. All my lovebirds, tame in addition to my breeders, have companions if they want them. The operative phrase is, of course, if they want them. Ginger, my CAG, has been with me since 1991 and is not tame. She loves to be around me/interact with me, but will not step up onto my arm if I were to ask, which I don't. I don't have a problem with that. I just accept the relationship for what it is and we are both happy. :)

[Lawrence]

Hi, my suggestion from your situation is to get another single bird, like a hand-fed cockatiel if you are a first time bird keeper (your 2 lovebirds notwithstanding). cockatiels are much more 'timid' than lovebirds and will be better companion in terms of temperament. My own experience with lovebirds is that they will tolerate you, but they will not want to have anything to do with you unless trained from the very young and kept that way throughout their lives. If you still want to have lovebirds, i suggest getting a peachface rather than the eye-ring groups, for some reason they are much quicker to warm up to me.


Cheers,

Lawrence