Help - wondering about how to care for a lovebird who has lost its mate!

[barbaradj]

Hello -

I am posting for the first time here, looking for advice.

I rescued a pair of lovebirds a year and a half ago. I was told that they were approximately 4-5 years old, and had likely been together their whole lives. They were not the tamest of birds, but I don't mind. They are very sweet, and very lovable!

Unfortunately, I returned home Tuesday night to find that they had somehow gotten out of their cage - I have a three-year old who must have fiddled with the latches to one of the food doors, from what I could tell. Gus was easy to find, perched on the ceiling fan. But his mate, Mona, was no where to be found. An hour later, she emerged from wherever she'd been hiding. I was horrified to see that she'd somehow injured her left eye. It was swollen and very sore looking. She had some water and corn, though, and was flying around, so although I was worried, I was hopeful she'd be okay. It was too late to take her to the vet then, on Tuesday night, but we were able to take her first thing yesterday morning. The vet said that, other than the eye, she was in great health. Once the swelling went down in the eye, we could take her back to assess if her eyesight was affected or not. Regardless, the vet said that there was no reason she wouldn't live a long and happy life, even if her eyesight was completely gone in the one eye. We left with oral antibiotics, oral anti-inflammatories and some drops for her eye. They administered the first doses in office.

This morning, we gave her all the prescribed medications as instructed by the vet. It clearly stressed her - I felt horrible. We then put her back in the cage, into the little nesting bed she loves so much. When I checked on her a short time after, she was dead.

Clearly, I'm horribly sad about this. I'll miss her so much... I am still kind of shocked, I think, as the vet had had no concern over her recovery from this injury. I'm wondering if it was the stress of the trip to the vet or the administration of the medications that killed her? I know, though, that I did all I could. I still feel like there should have been more I could have done...

Although it's certainly too late, even if there was more I could have done for sweet Mona, I know I need to be taking care of little Gus now.

I told this story because I'm hoping that someone here will have some advice for me! What's the best thing I can do for Gus now that he's lost his mate of the past 4-5 years? Obviously, spend as much time with him as I can, socializing and giving lots of attention - unfortunately, my job doesn't allow me to spend more than a couple of hours a day with him. Is it better for me to let him live the rest of his life alone? Or is it better for me to try and introduce him to a mate? Is there a clear better option, or is it going to be different in each case?

Help! I don't even know where to start with this, and it seems like there's so much different information everywhere... I appreciate hearing any advice, or anyone else's experiences with situations like this! I know this forum is clearly used by people with much more experience than I have, so I do apologize for the rookie question... I hope I can benefit from your wisdom, though! Please help!

[cp.lovebird]

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mona. I also came to this community after the loss of my female lovebird, who left behind her mate of 13 & 1/2 years. Squeaky, the male, was clearly missing his mate and very quiet after her passing. My husband and I went on a vacation about 6 months later and boarded Squeaky at the vet's. When we returned, Squeaky seemed so much happier. We think he really liked being around other birds! So a little while later, we adopted another lovebird, Ducky. He was a male because Squeaky was too old to take another mate. They lived side by side in separate cages and had out of cage play time together. Ducky was just under a year old then and the age difference was too long for them to live together. There is no guarantee that any 2 lovebirds will get along but even if they are housed separately, they can keep each other company when you are not around. If you get a female, they may or may not get along. If you do decide to get another lovebird, be prepared to look after 2 cages.

Good luck with your decision! Welcome to the community - albeit under such sad circumstances - there is a lot of great info and knowledgeable people here, not to mention the cutest lovies.

[linda040899]

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost Mona. :( Sometimes injuries are worse than they really appear to be, even to a vet.

It's normal for Gus to mourn the loss of his mate and he needs to go through the process. Give him extra attention as you can and you will be able to see when he's ready to move on without her. I, personally, like to keep my lovebirds in pairs, as they give each other attention that I couldn't give them even if I were home 24/7. If you don't want to look around for another female, male companions normally get along very well together. I have quite a few males together and they do really well.

This is a personal choice. Just remember 30 day quarantine before you introduce Gus to any potential new mate.

[Pips mom]

First of all, I would look into the meds that were given and the amount and find out if there was some kind of mistake made because it seems odd that she was in great health and then suddenly gone after giving meds. There was one time when I first moved here that I had to take Pip to a different vet and they gave me the the wrong thing for his meds and called me as soon as I pulled in the driveway home to come back and get the right one.....kinda scary.......needless to say I never went back there again!!
It's hard when they lose a mate. My male cockatiel lost his mate of five years a year ago and I couldn't stand watching him cry out, so I got another female for him.....of course cockatiels are alot different than lovebirds! they are calmer, more laid back and more likely to get along. It's a chance you take when you try to find them a friend, if they will get along or not. I had another lovebird Rudy and him and Pip did not get along, yet Pip gets along well with my other species birds here........then we tried putting Rudy with the next door neighbor's parrotlet and wouldn't you know the two hit it off instantly and now live in the same cage together and are best buds! How crazy that these two lovebirds did well with other another species of bird and not with another lovebird, but that's how it goes in the birdie world! You just never know! I know if it was me I'd take the chance on finding a friend for Gus, especially if you work alot and don't have alot of time for him. As long as you're willing to have two cages if they don't end up friends, even in two different cages next to each other, it's still company and will probably help get his mind off his loss.

[barbaradj]

Thank you SO much to everyone for their kind words and advice.

I am looking for some information about the dosing of the meds, actually... I'm wondering if it was too much. Might have been to blame... but, if that wasn't it, unless the vet missed something crucial (and I don't think that's it), I really wonder if it was just the stress.

Gus seems to be doing well, thankfully, although he's clearly not wanting to let us out of his sight. We're looking into a couple of breeders at the moment. One has baby lovebirds ready right away, and another has an adult that they have been looking for a home for, as they're trying to reduce the number of birds they have. We're thinking things over... I'm sure that getting Gus another mate is the only real option. Although I spend as much time as possible with him, I worry that it's not enough. It's not fair to him!

So, just a matter of deciding which way to go. Are there any opinions as to whether a baby is best (a trusted source suggested this)? Or an adult? Also, I've been told it's best to introduce them sooner than later. Is that true? My first instinct was to give Gus a bit of time to mourn Mona first.

Thanks again!

[Dave_K.]

I have one male who is on his third mate. I am not sure how old he is as he was a rescue bird in a way... thats another story though. As for the mourning process he went through it twice and now has a much younger mate and this pair has produced a successfull clutch of five babies and one adopted out of another clutch. All of my birds are in pairs for the exact reason that you mentioned, the number of hours I'm away from home. They are happyer with company and are still wonderful companions.

his mates have been of varying ages.... introduced very carefully over extended periods of time by using the side by side method until they were both hanging on the sides of their cages trying to be together. it is a long process but very important.

[Pips mom]

I'd give Gus a bit of time first.......even if you introduced a new bird to him sooner, he'd likely still be thinking of Mona. Bringing in a new bird will distract him and keep his mind occupied and off of his loss.......but I really think he has to have the time to realize what's happened and that Mona is not coming back. You hate to watch them suffer with their loss. I waited a few weeks with my cockatiels, but how long you wait is totally up to you as only you know Gus and can get a sense of what's best for him. Birds are just like people in the way that they all handle things differently. Some might never accept a new mate, and some are very accepting. Only you can sense what Gus might be feeling and you should take your cue from that. Best of luck to you!! and good for you with your decision to find him a new friend. I truly think that birds are happier and more well adjusted when they have a feathered best buddy.....it's how nature intended for them to have a mate, although again, same as humans, some are happy without that, but I like my birds to have a feathered friend they can relate to because us humans can only understand just so much of birdie behavior, and we can't always be there and have the time for them, so it sure makes it easier to be away for a day or go on vacation when you know they still have each other.