Help! Should I buy this lovebird?

[KathyB]

Hello fellow lovebird lovers! Help! I need your advice asap.
I have loved lovebirds for many years. I have had 3, all handfed males who came to me at about 8 weeks of age, totally hand tame and ready to step up on my finger, revel in neck scratches, and wanting to do nothing but cuddle and snuggle. They have been the most wonderful companions and family members.
After my lovebird who lived to be nearly 20 passed away I took some time to adjust to his loss before adopting again. Some weeks ago I started looking for a handfed baby lovebird to begin a new chapter in my life with an agapornis companion. No local pet stores had any for sale so I started looking online. I found an ad by a breeder about an hour from my home who raises handfed baby lovebirds, contacted her by phone, and learned that she had a lovie baby who would be ready to go to a new home in a few weeks. I was very happy and excited! I paid for the DNA sexing test because I knew, based on past experience, that I wanted a male. The baby turned out to be a boy! Again, I was thrilled. The breeder kindly emailed me many cute photos over time of my developing baby and I fell in love with him. I wrongly assumed because he was being handfed and raised by a caring person in a home environment that he would be hand tame and cuddly like my first 3 lovebirds.
Time comes to pick up my baby (a couple of weeks after he is fully weaned because I was out of town) and the breeder kindly sends me a video of him. He flies away from her hand as soon as she gently offers her finger and asks him to step up. He seems as wild as a parent raised bird!
I ask the breeder for more details (which I should have done earlier). She is handfeeding about 40 birds of different species in her small home and doesn't have time to individually socialize each bird. She starts handfeeding lovebirds at 2 weeks of age, but now I realize that this does not necessarily result in the tame and cuddly lovie that I am used to. I asked the breeder to clip his wings but he still seems fairly fully flighted in the video. She says he does not bite when she puts her hand in his his cage but has never sat on her shoulder or snuggled or accepted neck scratches. I am very concerned that if I bring this beautiful bird home he will never bond to me the way my first 3 lovies did and that I am in for a lot of heartbreak and frustration. I have read some of the very helpful posts about not forcing a bird and accepting him on his own terms, with patience and love over the long haul, hoping for eventual bonding and relationship. Based on my past experience and 'expectations' (not realistic in this case with this bird) I am wondering if it is fair to this bird to bring him home to me. I am thinking of paying the breeder in full and asking her to find another good home for him, then starting my search for a handfed baby all over again from square one.
Does anyone out there have any advice about my chances of bonding with this bird, given his history and current age (now about 10 weeks old)?
Any input would be so greatly appreciated, as I am really in a dilemma and I want to do the right thing for this beautiful lovebird. Thanks very much!

[starwynde]

My third lovie was a wild one... Renegade, as he had his own ideas about how life was going to be. He was a gift from a friend (from a pet store with those open bin-type displays I found out afterwards) and hated hands and humans in general, for which I can't blame him. It took some time (it was a month before he would willing hop onto my finger, and another few weeks before I could even bring my other hand close enough to touch him) and lots of patience and neosporin, but he now loves his people. My mom claimed him when she looked after him for a week becasue he "had such nice manners" as she put it. He flies around her house, comes when you call him, loves head and neck scratches, and is such a character; you would never know it was the same little demon that came from that pet store. Anyway, story aside, if you have the time and commitment to work with this little one and you like his personality, I would say go for it. The return is well worth the effort.

[linda040899]

I have to agree with starwynde. I would cry fowl because the breeder misrepresented this baby to you but that doesn't mean he can't make a wonderful pet once he learns to trust you. No, he's not friendly right now, but he's also not been abused and I can tell you that lovies are smart, as you probably know. :)

If everything except the tameness is what you want, I say go for it! All live creatures will respond to love, kindness and patience.

[Lashania]

My lovie was pretty wild when I got her, and I got her on January 19th. She doesn't freak out when I put my hand in her cage anymore (though we have to play tag to get her OUT of the cage). She's never tried to 'seriously' bite. No punctured skin, nothing more than a good pinch honestly. It just takes a bit of work.

What I did was simple. The first day at home, I put her in her cage and let her have about 2 hours of alone time to adjust to the new living space. Then I went up with a book, sat about 3 feet away facing her, and began reading out loud to get her used to voices.

Do that for 2-3 days.

Get yourself a wooden dowel or stick of some kind. Then use it to 'get near' the bird. Get them used to things coming close. Maybe they'll step up, maybe they won't, but I would gently pet her with the stick a few times to get her used to pressure from a foreign object.

Within a week I was able to pick her up without worrying about injuries, (but even after a month, if she's in her cage it will take about 5 minutes to get her out. I honestly think it's a game for her at this point).

From there, bribe him. Millet spray works fantastically for mine. Clicker has been helping. Buy a giant bag of sunflower seeds. Eat near his cage. Birds, oddly, seem to be a lot more trusting when they see you eating something that obviously isn't them. Singing seems to work well for my little Athena.

[KathyB]

Thank you all so much for your valued input! Your good counsel based on your personal experience is a big help right now.
What a wonderful online community of lovebird lovers! I feel very fortunate to have found this resource.
All the best to you and your birds!
Kathy

[Pips mom]

I agree with everyone here. Pip has never really been hand tame, but like Linda says, these little birds are smart. The new little guy may never be fond of hands, but Pip still allows me to hold him......he won't go for it at first, but he sits in my hands with not much of a fight for the most part now. Pip will take off and fly too and can be flighty. His owner said that he was hand tame before I got him, but he wasn't really, and he was parent raised. Tame or not, any bird will respond to the care and love that you give him. I have an amazing relationship with Pip. He'll fly around looking for me when I'm out of the room........come flying into the bathroom and land on my head when I'm drying my hair and scare the **** out of me! He's such a character! He goes in his cage for me now on cue (most of the time!:roll:)
This lovebird is still young, and I truly believe that you can have a great and very special relationship and bond with him. You said that you've had your heart set on getting this little one........don't let what humans have done ruin that for him, it's not his fault and he deserves a chance. It's usually situations like this, ones that don't seem to work out as planned, that you end up with something special, and the relationship with your bird I think has more meaning when you have to earn each other's trust, and when you can just love him unconditionally for who he is. It may not be the way you planned it to be, but something tells me that it will all work out just fine in time!
Pip was my one bird that I never planned ahead to get.......he was a spurr of the moment thing......an add on craigslist, the guy was giving him up for free and I was afraid of where he'd end up. Now I can't imagine my life without him in it and this little tiny bird has SO much personality, spunk and just as mischievous as a lovie can be, and I wouldn't change a thing! If you take this lovie boy, it will teach you a lesson and you will NEVER have to ask a question or advice on this subject again!! You'll be the one here giving the advice to the next guy who is hesitant to get a bird that's not tame, and then you'll know just how me and the others here feel, and I know that I feel very lucky to have Pip, my lil monster boy who will land on my arm and bite me until I pay attention to him! I'd take the chance with this little guy! each bird has his/her own personality and will be who he/she is regardless of tameness. You could get a hand tame bird who you may not bond with nearly as much as this guy will, or vis versa. It's all about the bird's personality, not about how tame he is. He may give you a hard time, or he may be easy........it's the bird's personality that will decide that, not what the breeder has done or not done.

[Pips mom]

I'm wondering if you ever got this little guy?