New Behavior for Lacey

[mstomcat65]

Good morning... I haven't been on here in awhile as my laptop crashed over a week ago and just finally got to borrow my daughter's until we find something else.

Lacey has decided the I am the one who is around all day, feeds her, plays with her etc. My hubby works all day so is only around her mostly on weekends and at night. Recently she has decided she likes to sleep on my shoulder or chest. She will still not let me pet her but will kinda snuggle up to my neck and cheek. She lunges at my hubby when he tries to pet her while she's there. She also is a lot more nippy towards him then when we first got her. She doesn't try to bite me anymore. Only when I get near a favorite food etc. I don't like that she tries to bite him like this so I keep telling her "no, be nice". Am I doing the right thing? I really think she will be one of those birds that don't want to be pet. I've had her 2 and a half months now. If she's like this now, will it get worse when she becomes and adult and the hormones kick in? Sorry so long and thank you for any response.

Marti

[michael]

Hi Marti. Attempting to predict Lacey's future ambitions once her adult hormones kick in will likely be a matter of conjecture. Some lovie hens grow up to be sweet and cuddly, some will share a middle ground, others will have nothing of it. Something I have learned from a few friends who keep female lovies, is if you wish to become part of their flock, you should not extend your hand/s in such a way that might appear to threaten them. Really, if after forming a bond with Lacey you are yet to pet or "scritchie" her yourself, then its probably fair to say your husband doesn't stand a chance. Still, I think its entirely possible, that over time should Lacey be offered whatever airspace keeps her comfortable and at ease, she may eventually come in for a beak rub or two. Of course, seeing how she's already somewhat bonded with you, she may choose to exclude your husband. Hard to say, but his attempting to pet her is not going to do much good, at least not while she perched happily your shoulder. .. As for telling her "No, be nice", I would be very careful that your not reinforcing the very behavior your trying to avoid. While some parrots will eventually understand the meaning of "no bite", "be nice", etc, in the human + bird world, these terms can often prove ambiquous in a sense that your "no, be nice" reaction to her lunging towards your husband is instead a sign of approval. ... At any rate, hopefully other members who keep hens can share their thoughts here as i've yet to experience the joy of caring for one myself. ...........:)

[longobongo]

Hello Marti. I too have a very aggressive hen. When I first got Bailey she wouldn't stand hands at all, not without biting. Eventually she did the same, she liked to sleep on my shoulder or in my shirt. I started to take showers with her and this changed our bond drastically, I think. She now lets me pet her pretty much wherever. She hates when you try to touch her wings or her feet, but she'll only touch me with her beak, not even bite.

My boyfriend on the other hand, cannot really handle her with his hands at all, and she's a year and a half now. She'll fly to his shoulder, and they have a cute little whistle they do together, but no hands. She won't even step up for him. She just doesn't want him to touch her with his hands. On the rare occasion, she'll go up to his hand and rub her head against him, but as soon as he moves to scritch her himself, NOPE. Bites all around. He respects her space now, and is comfortable with the fact that she's not okay with his hands touching her. They've had a much better relationship as soon as he stopped trying to impose his hands on her. It's weird for him to see her in a pleasant mood with me, and then 180 as soon as he comes close.

My advice is, "NO," and "no bite!" haven't really worked in my situation at all. In fact, sometimes Bailey will actually laugh when we scold her in that way. I guess we sound like we're excited, like we do when we're laughing and playing with her. For now, I think your partner should just respect her space. When it's time for the bird to be handled (either to get her out of her cage or put her in her cage or whatever), you do the handling.

[mstomcat65]

Thanks for the responses. I was thinking that would be the case. I will have to figure out how to explain this behavior to my hubby. I think he feels left out when she's with me, but on another note.... my daughter's got her for Mothers Day for ME. She's around 6 months old so I think she's still learning. thanks again for your responses :)

[longobongo]

I don't think this necessarily means he can't enjoy your lovie, though. Lovebirds, in my experience, are quite the character and my boyfriend enjoys giving her pennies to throw around or taking pictures of her or even when she does snuggle up on his shoulder (and growls in his ear hehe). He also might want to try using a dowel to pick her up, if ever necessary. My boyfriend can get Bailey to step up onto a wooden dowel. I don't think it's likely that she just doesn't like him, she just doesn't know him like she knows you. :) I think it'll all come in time!

[mstomcat65]

just and update on my earlier post.... Lacey has decided she likes to play on my husband but won't cuddle or sleep on him like she does with me. She has "given him food" a couple times and hasn't done that with me. So she seems to have different rules with both of us. My guess is he is play time and i am who she likes to preen and and cuddle with. Neither one of us can give her scritches yet, tho my hubby does try, lol. She just ends up growling at him. She does let me touch her wings and beak if she is cuddling up to my neck.

Marti

[linda040899]

Amazing how their personalities develop if we let it happen as we get to know them and they get to know us! You are becoming more and more a part of Lacey's flock and each seems to have a place. :) They have preferences just like all other live creatures and I've found it best to respect what they want rather than let my feelings get hurt because they are not meeting my own expectations.

I have a female Military Macaw who loves my daughter, while my male loves me. Hey, that's OK. It's not easy to give attention to two large birds who are competing for it at the same time so I'm just fine with this arrangement!

[longobongo]

In time, Lacey might be comfortable with both of you touching her and handling her. No luck yet with my Bailey. She still hates my partner's hands, haha!

[mstomcat65]

thanks for the replies..... lacey won't let my hubby or my self touch her with hands. Hands and fingers have been "hands off" since day one! lol My daughter came over to visit today and lacey was really excited to see her, ended up she got food from lacey too :confused:

[mstomcat65]

Lacey is becoming quite the cuddler with me.... the pic i'm posting was yesterday's naptime, today she moved all the way up to my neck so she was skin to skin.... was so nice to feel that little ball of warm feathers :) The pic of me is awful, i'm dealing with allergies and they stink!

http://s1285.photobucket.com/user/mstomcat1965/media/LaceyandMom_zps7c12e0ee.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0#/user/mstomcat1965/media/LaceyandMom_zps7c12e0ee.jpg.html?sort=3&o=0&_suid=137779376080705471252788575454

Marti

[linda040899]

Love, kindness and patience win over most live creatures, as you are seeing! What a cute photo of Lacey. She sure looks content and comfortable! Gorgeous coloring!!! :)

[mstomcat65]

thanks linda... yeah i love her coloring! Would you have any idea when her next moult will be? I figured out her hatchdate to be around Feb 14th maybe? Will the color stay the same or ?

Marti

[linda040899]

The second molt takes place right around age 12 months. From now on, coloring will deepen and intensify. Nowhere near as dramatic as the first molt but I've found that the coloring of older lovies is much prettier than youngsters. :)

[mstomcat65]

i have good news to report... Lacey gave me food today!! i know to most that's not a big deal but for me it was what i've been waiting for since i got her. Her bond with me started changing last week, more cuddlier then usual, more interested in what i'm eating and trying to pull food out of my mouth! So my next "hope" is for her to eventually let me/us pet her. I will be patient with that because i know that it's when they totally trust you that they let you do that. :)