First time lovebird owner

[ally9405]

Hi! I just got a beautiful one and a half year old male lovebird. I feel as though I am completely out of my league… He is not aggressive or making screaming noises which I guess is a good sign, but I can't really get anywhere near him. Last night I was able to put my face pretty close to him while he was inside the cage but the moment I even moved my arm to lift my hand up he started to inch away. I try to put my had in the cage and put treats on my hand but it doesn't seem to help much. When he sees me going to open the door he climbs up and away from the door. He appears to be eating okay but throughout the day he really never moves. Only to go down and get a few bites of his food. Other than that he stays on his favorite perch. I am just clueless on what to do and how to build trust with him :( The bird store I went too said I will just have to go in the cage and pick him up and hold him even if he's scared because he has to learn I am not going to hurt him. But I feel like I shouldn't do that and don't want to scare him. I am in need of allot of advice. Anything that works to build trust. Thank you!

[linda040899]

Welcome to Lovebirds Plus Community and congratulations on taking the first step in becoming the perfect human slave to a lovebird!!! :)

Parrots learn trust by experience so, while you know you won't hurt him, he needs to see for himself that you don't intend to eat him for breakfast! Without trying to approach him, just sit by the cage and talk to him. Eat meals near where he is. Lovebirds are naturally curious and once he sees you are not going to go after him, he will want to check you out to find out more about you. Some birds make this transition quicker than others. Some, like one of my African Grey Parrots don't like being touched and will interact with you without contact. Ginger, my CAG, has been with me since 1991 and will follow me everywhere. It's just hands off!

I'm sure others will add to this.

[Tiki's Mom]

Good luck with your bird
Have fun

[ally9405]

Thank you both! I have not had much improvement. I try holding my hand in the cage for amounts of time but nothing much happens. He doesn't really play with toys or get very active. I feel like maybe he is depressed? I don't know if birds get that way. His previous owner had a female with him and they were bonded together until he plucked all her feathers off and I am told she passed away. I am still not very confident in my abilities but I will never give up. I just want him to see Im not bad! But he never gives me the chance to prove it. I feel like waiting on him to discover me could take a lifetime because he isn't very curious or active. Any other input will be appreciated.

[linda040899]

Oh, gee. Loss of a mate and then a new home. Poor little fella. I'm sure he's mourning the loss of his companion and everything is new. You may not see any changes for a month, maybe even more. Simply try to have his cage near where you are so he knows he has company, even if you don't have feathers. I have every confidence that he will come around. I'm dealing with something similar right now. I brought home a male Plumhead Parakeet over the week-end and he's been alone for almost a year. He's terrified of people and all I can do is let him get used to me. Patience..................

[ally9405]

I know:( I had no idea all of this until I went to pick him up and she was set on rehoming him. I don't want to put him through so much stress. I wish I could do more. I see all these beautiful stories of how their birds interact with them everyday and playing with toys and I want that time to come! I think the bond of bird and person is amazing and I can't wait till that day arrives!! (:

one more question.. the pet store said the cage was a good size for him but I don't know how to give him exercise. I put the cage on the ground and open the door so he gets a little bit of play time but he just climbs up to the top and squawks the whole time and won't go back in easily. Should I wait for him to be more comfortable to let him out? This is my first bird and I feel like he came from a terrible experience and I don't want to make it worse. Also she was feeing him parakeet food and never gave him fruits or veggies. He is VERY happy about the correct food but won't eat any of the treats or other yummy food I try to give him. Ahhh sorry for all the questions I just want to make everything right! I wish I had someone that could physically help me.. like a bird whisperer lol

[HaleBoppPeachyluv]

Lovebirds are stubborn little stinkers. I think it's awesome you are being patient with your boy. Slow and steady is a great way to approach, especially as Linda noted, he's probably grieving.

How big is his cage? Can he stretch his wings all the way out without touching the sides?

It tough to wait. Our family just got 2 new lovies and it is hard to not really be able to play with them the way we played with our last one.

[ally9405]

Oh yes he has plenty of space. He still doesn't seem to move around a whole lot. It is testing my patients a little.. I just want to be able to bring him around the house with me and be excited when I come home! I love the stories I read on here I have much to look forward too.. is there a possibility he will never change??
I was told to give him 12 hours of sleep so he usually goes to bed around 8-8:30ish and wakes me up right around 8 the next day! Is the 12 hour sleep correct?

[linda040899]

Twelve hours of sleep is perfect!

My very best suggestion is to let him stay in his cage, door open in case he wants to venture out, as that's his comfort zone for now. He has to work through all this an unpack his baggage, so to speak, and he will. Waiting is the hardest part but there are no short cuts. Yes, there are at least a couple of bird behavior sites that claim to be able to help you tame your bird almost overnight but all you are doing is what's called desensitizing, not forming the trust relationship that you want.

About 8 years ago, I was given a badly abused male Double Yellowheaded Amazon Parrot. He hated men because men abused him. He prefers women but the owner who gave him to me had a wife who the parrot adored but the wife was terrified of him because Monty was a biter. It took Monty about 4-5 years to feel comfortable here with me and my husband but once the light went on, it's been good ever since.

[Dee5385]

I'm new to lovebirds as well and I'm running into some similar issues. I rescued 2 lovebirds from a local shelter. The only back story I have is they came from a home with children that were being bit; of course....if you put your finger in my face I'd bite it too. So I'm sure they were pretty terrorized. When I got them home they were in a cage way to small for them so I upgraded their cage....they were not happy with me at that point...they bit me a few times when I was trying to move them from cage to cage. When I come up near the cage they move the furthest point of the cage...probably just scared. I'm hoping to work with them so they can warm up to me a little bit....slowly I'm sure. Just said to see such beautiful birds so scared of humans.....darn kids. How long should I give them before I try to work with them and when I do start working wiht them how do I go about it since they are so timid?:(

Also, I have a vet appointment scheduled in two weeks....how on earth am I going to get them in a smaller portable cage for that appointment? I don't want to stress them out! :confused: