linda040899
05-15-2005, 10:13 AM
Subject: Do pets grieve?
St. Louis Post-Dispatch - St. Louis,MO,USA
Do pets grieve?
By Sarah Newman
Of the Post-Dispatch
Friday, May. 13 2005
SOMEONE WHO has difficulty understanding how a person can
mourn the loss of an animal must find it impossible to
believe that an animal would mourn the loss of a human.
Yet evidence suggests that animals do grieve, not only
for their own kind but for others as well.
The classic case in point is Greyfriars Bobby, the Skye
terrier who refused to leave his master's grave. As the
story goes, John Gray's faithful companion kept his post
in the old Greyfriars Churchyard in Edinburgh, Scotland,
for 14 years, leaving only for his midday meal, until his
own death in 1872.
Closer to home, tales of animal grief are less
well-known. Unlike Bobby's story, Eleanor Atkinson has
not immortalized them in children's books and Walt Disney
has not celebrated them in movies. Still, the stories
shared by Tail End readers are just as poignant. But are
they really evidence of grief?
Yes, says Harriet Cuddy, a pet-loss grief counselor and
facilitator of the St. Louis Pet Loss Support Group (for
information, call 636-537-2322, Ext. 28, or go to
www.petropolis.com (http://www.petropolis.com/)). "One of the things we love about our
pets is that they love us unconditionally, and we become
their world. When a loss occurs, the emotional upheaval
can be as difficult for them as it is for us," she says.
"Pets do display signs of grieving, some noticeable, some
more subtle. They may go off their food. They may isolate
themselves, become lethargic or whine constantly. I
remember when my mother passed away, my little dog, who
was very close to her, went around the house crying. She
was looking for her and couldn't find her. She knew there
had been a change in the family structure, and she didn't
understand."
After Colleen Fann's mother passed away, Fann took over
the care of her mother's dog, who soon "showed signs of
deep depression." She lost interest in eating and in
cuddling. "Her days and many nights were spent wandering
through the house like she was searching for someone,"
says Fann, who lives in O'Fallon, Mo. "Her fur began to
fall out in large sections, and she would tuck herself
away in a far room in the basement and sleep for many
hours at a time. The vet told us that animals experience
grief like we do, and she obviously was heartbroken at
the loss of her beloved caretaker."
Susan Dinehart of Ballwin has a dog, Jesse, who exhibited
sadness when her son, Sam, died. The school bus had
picked Sam up in front of the house every morning at 7:30
and dropped him off every afternoon at 3. For two weeks
after Sam's death, "Jesse sat in the window at 7:30 and 3
and howled. It was heartbreaking," Dinehart says.
Mark Primerano of Ballwin recalled an event from 1956,
when he was a monk in a Franciscan monastery 35 miles
west of St. Louis. The founding monk had found a small
dog in the woods 16 years earlier, and the two had become
inseparable. When the old monk became ill and lay
semiconscious in his room, the dog kept a constant vigil
outside the window.
"On the fifth day, I suddenly heard Browny howling in a
low, pitiful moan," Primerano says. "Looking from my
window, I saw Browny slowly walking toward the woods, his
head hung low."
As Primerano started after the dog, he learned that the
old monk had just passed away. He continued on his
mission but failed to find the dog. Nor did he find him
the next day. Or the next. "In my heart, I believe this
faithful pet knew his beloved master had died," Primerano
says. "Devoted in life, I believe Browny preferred to go
off and die than to go on living without his master."
Some weeks later Primerano discovered Browny's lifeless
body lying near a creek. "Very often I wondered if this
was the very spot he was found and became a loved pet in
our community some 16 years earlier," Primerano says.
Patricia DeMarco of Cuba, Mo., says that after her father
died, his poodle "situated herself in my dad's recliner
and wouldn't budge. The only time she left that chair was
to go outside to go to the bathroom or to get a little to
eat and drink. Her appetite dwindled, she wouldn't play,
didn't want to sit with anyone else - just stayed there
in my dad's chair. It was obvious she was grieving for
her buddy, and it took her about three months before she
came around."
Shadow took even longer. The cat went into mourning after
the death of Saranne Emery's grandfather. She refused to
leave her carrier for three days. Then she went to the
basement and stayed there. "Approximately one year to the
day after my grandfather's death, Shadow came upstairs
and has since roamed the house like the rest of the
pets," Emery says.
Patti West of Vandalia, Ill., notes that when her father
died, the Labrador retriever he had rescued years before
"would go from room to room looking for him." After much
consideration, the family took the dog to the funeral
home on visitation day. She walked straight to the casket
and sniffed. From then on, West says, "Millie didn't have
to look anymore." She had found her friend. Then, "Millie
and Mom became companions," West says, and "helped each
other through the grieving process."
Sometimes a pet who is grieving will engage in behaviors
that are not typical, Cuddy says. "People need to
remember that the pet's world has been turned upside
down, and it's really important to be patient with them."
Buddy, for example, began soiling in the house. When his
veterinarian ruled out a physical problem, he asked about
changes in Buddy's life. "My daughter told him about my
husband's death and how close he and Buddy were," said
Donna Mast of Maryland Heights. "He confirmed our
suspicions and said that only time and a lot of love and
attention would take care of the problem." They did, but
it took awhile. And "there is still sadness on Buddy's
face after almost two years when he comes to my house,"
Mast says. "We think he is still looking and hoping that
'Grandpa' will be there."
After her husband died, Barb Hollingsworth of
Chesterfield tried everything to comfort his black
schipperke, Little Bit. She "would whine and cry and
wander the house, constantly looking for Scott,"
Hollingsworth says. "I tried various things to comfort
her or redirect her thoughts, but it never worked. Her
mourning the loss of Scott was very real."
Hollingsworth's solution was to find Little Bit a new
home with a family who had a male schipperke. "There is
no doubt," she says, "that animals who have been loved
and cared for will grieve the loss of a human."
Or of a nonhuman.
Karen Kulberg of Ste. Genevieve, Mo., says that Muffin, a
cat, "mourned the passing of our dog, Fritz, who had been
his special friend." Fritz had carried Muffin in his
mouth when Muffin was a kitten and would let him sit on
his back when Muffin became an oversized cat. When Fritz
died, Muffin "seemed subdued." He began sleeping under
the bed, where Fritz had slept. Then Kulberg "began to
notice that some of Fritz's toys were missing, along with
some of our gloves, hats and other small clothing items."
When she vacuumed under the bed, she found the dog toys
and all the other missing items "piled together in
exactly the spot where Fritz had been accustomed to
sleeping. Muffin had gathered these items together to
form what was evidently a memorial to his friend,"
Kulberg says.
A Siamese cat named Coco goes to the parlor every night
and calls for her feline friend, Bobby, a year after
Bobby's death, says Sandi Fortner of Hamburg, Ill. Coco's
call is "almost like singing and very loud." She used to
call Bobby for hours at a time, Fortner says, but now she
"only sings for about a half-hour every night."
Some psychologists have suggested that when a pet loses
someone close, it may begin to fear that it will lose
other members of the family as well. Anne Cashel of St.
Ann would agree with that. Her 7-year-old beagle, Lizzy,
"has lost an owner and two other loved ones over the last
four or five years," Cashel says. Her vet told her that
Lizzy is grieving and will take time to heal.
Lizzy doesn't want to be left alone now, Cashel says. She
thinks "that Lizzy has separation anxiety and that she's
afraid now that if someone leaves her, they won't come
back, either," she says.
Cashel says that if they try to leave her in the house,
"she scratches and scratches at the door, and leaves
indentations in the wood."
They have kenneled her for short periods, but when they
recorded her when they were gone, she made "heartbroken
howls that sounded like wailing the entire time," Cashel
says.
At the opposite extreme is the blue front Amazon parrot
that belonged to Rebecca Grindler's father. The breed "is
one of the top talkers," Grindler said. Yet when her
father died two summers ago, "the crazy bird didn't speak
to anyone for months," Grindler says.
Reporter Sarah Casey Newman E-mail:
snewman@post-dispatch.com Phone: 314-340-8264
===========================
IF your pet is grieving ...
ANIMALS ARE individuals, just as people are. Each grieves
in its own way. Because signs of grieving can be subtle,
we cannot always know when, or if, their mourning ends.
Patience and love are the most important things you can
give an animal who is in mourning, says Harriet Cuddy,
facilitator of the St. Louis Pet Loss Support Group. But
often professional help may be needed.
Veterinarians who understand pet grief can help both
grieving pets and their caregivers. They can provide
important insight, recommend courses of action and
provide individualized treatments, which in some cases
may involve medication. It is not always easy, and it is
not always successful. Some animals simply give up on
life. And yet ...
A cat named Mitzi went into deep depression after the
death of her elderly companion, the only companion she
had ever known. She required not only unrelenting
patience from her new caregivers but also months of
medical care, complete with round-the-clock force
feeding, to save her life. She is healthy and happy today
in her new home in south St. Louis County.
- Sarah Casey Newman
~Crossposted with permission/Bird Breeder-Hobbyist~
St. Louis Post-Dispatch - St. Louis,MO,USA
Do pets grieve?
By Sarah Newman
Of the Post-Dispatch
Friday, May. 13 2005
SOMEONE WHO has difficulty understanding how a person can
mourn the loss of an animal must find it impossible to
believe that an animal would mourn the loss of a human.
Yet evidence suggests that animals do grieve, not only
for their own kind but for others as well.
The classic case in point is Greyfriars Bobby, the Skye
terrier who refused to leave his master's grave. As the
story goes, John Gray's faithful companion kept his post
in the old Greyfriars Churchyard in Edinburgh, Scotland,
for 14 years, leaving only for his midday meal, until his
own death in 1872.
Closer to home, tales of animal grief are less
well-known. Unlike Bobby's story, Eleanor Atkinson has
not immortalized them in children's books and Walt Disney
has not celebrated them in movies. Still, the stories
shared by Tail End readers are just as poignant. But are
they really evidence of grief?
Yes, says Harriet Cuddy, a pet-loss grief counselor and
facilitator of the St. Louis Pet Loss Support Group (for
information, call 636-537-2322, Ext. 28, or go to
www.petropolis.com (http://www.petropolis.com/)). "One of the things we love about our
pets is that they love us unconditionally, and we become
their world. When a loss occurs, the emotional upheaval
can be as difficult for them as it is for us," she says.
"Pets do display signs of grieving, some noticeable, some
more subtle. They may go off their food. They may isolate
themselves, become lethargic or whine constantly. I
remember when my mother passed away, my little dog, who
was very close to her, went around the house crying. She
was looking for her and couldn't find her. She knew there
had been a change in the family structure, and she didn't
understand."
After Colleen Fann's mother passed away, Fann took over
the care of her mother's dog, who soon "showed signs of
deep depression." She lost interest in eating and in
cuddling. "Her days and many nights were spent wandering
through the house like she was searching for someone,"
says Fann, who lives in O'Fallon, Mo. "Her fur began to
fall out in large sections, and she would tuck herself
away in a far room in the basement and sleep for many
hours at a time. The vet told us that animals experience
grief like we do, and she obviously was heartbroken at
the loss of her beloved caretaker."
Susan Dinehart of Ballwin has a dog, Jesse, who exhibited
sadness when her son, Sam, died. The school bus had
picked Sam up in front of the house every morning at 7:30
and dropped him off every afternoon at 3. For two weeks
after Sam's death, "Jesse sat in the window at 7:30 and 3
and howled. It was heartbreaking," Dinehart says.
Mark Primerano of Ballwin recalled an event from 1956,
when he was a monk in a Franciscan monastery 35 miles
west of St. Louis. The founding monk had found a small
dog in the woods 16 years earlier, and the two had become
inseparable. When the old monk became ill and lay
semiconscious in his room, the dog kept a constant vigil
outside the window.
"On the fifth day, I suddenly heard Browny howling in a
low, pitiful moan," Primerano says. "Looking from my
window, I saw Browny slowly walking toward the woods, his
head hung low."
As Primerano started after the dog, he learned that the
old monk had just passed away. He continued on his
mission but failed to find the dog. Nor did he find him
the next day. Or the next. "In my heart, I believe this
faithful pet knew his beloved master had died," Primerano
says. "Devoted in life, I believe Browny preferred to go
off and die than to go on living without his master."
Some weeks later Primerano discovered Browny's lifeless
body lying near a creek. "Very often I wondered if this
was the very spot he was found and became a loved pet in
our community some 16 years earlier," Primerano says.
Patricia DeMarco of Cuba, Mo., says that after her father
died, his poodle "situated herself in my dad's recliner
and wouldn't budge. The only time she left that chair was
to go outside to go to the bathroom or to get a little to
eat and drink. Her appetite dwindled, she wouldn't play,
didn't want to sit with anyone else - just stayed there
in my dad's chair. It was obvious she was grieving for
her buddy, and it took her about three months before she
came around."
Shadow took even longer. The cat went into mourning after
the death of Saranne Emery's grandfather. She refused to
leave her carrier for three days. Then she went to the
basement and stayed there. "Approximately one year to the
day after my grandfather's death, Shadow came upstairs
and has since roamed the house like the rest of the
pets," Emery says.
Patti West of Vandalia, Ill., notes that when her father
died, the Labrador retriever he had rescued years before
"would go from room to room looking for him." After much
consideration, the family took the dog to the funeral
home on visitation day. She walked straight to the casket
and sniffed. From then on, West says, "Millie didn't have
to look anymore." She had found her friend. Then, "Millie
and Mom became companions," West says, and "helped each
other through the grieving process."
Sometimes a pet who is grieving will engage in behaviors
that are not typical, Cuddy says. "People need to
remember that the pet's world has been turned upside
down, and it's really important to be patient with them."
Buddy, for example, began soiling in the house. When his
veterinarian ruled out a physical problem, he asked about
changes in Buddy's life. "My daughter told him about my
husband's death and how close he and Buddy were," said
Donna Mast of Maryland Heights. "He confirmed our
suspicions and said that only time and a lot of love and
attention would take care of the problem." They did, but
it took awhile. And "there is still sadness on Buddy's
face after almost two years when he comes to my house,"
Mast says. "We think he is still looking and hoping that
'Grandpa' will be there."
After her husband died, Barb Hollingsworth of
Chesterfield tried everything to comfort his black
schipperke, Little Bit. She "would whine and cry and
wander the house, constantly looking for Scott,"
Hollingsworth says. "I tried various things to comfort
her or redirect her thoughts, but it never worked. Her
mourning the loss of Scott was very real."
Hollingsworth's solution was to find Little Bit a new
home with a family who had a male schipperke. "There is
no doubt," she says, "that animals who have been loved
and cared for will grieve the loss of a human."
Or of a nonhuman.
Karen Kulberg of Ste. Genevieve, Mo., says that Muffin, a
cat, "mourned the passing of our dog, Fritz, who had been
his special friend." Fritz had carried Muffin in his
mouth when Muffin was a kitten and would let him sit on
his back when Muffin became an oversized cat. When Fritz
died, Muffin "seemed subdued." He began sleeping under
the bed, where Fritz had slept. Then Kulberg "began to
notice that some of Fritz's toys were missing, along with
some of our gloves, hats and other small clothing items."
When she vacuumed under the bed, she found the dog toys
and all the other missing items "piled together in
exactly the spot where Fritz had been accustomed to
sleeping. Muffin had gathered these items together to
form what was evidently a memorial to his friend,"
Kulberg says.
A Siamese cat named Coco goes to the parlor every night
and calls for her feline friend, Bobby, a year after
Bobby's death, says Sandi Fortner of Hamburg, Ill. Coco's
call is "almost like singing and very loud." She used to
call Bobby for hours at a time, Fortner says, but now she
"only sings for about a half-hour every night."
Some psychologists have suggested that when a pet loses
someone close, it may begin to fear that it will lose
other members of the family as well. Anne Cashel of St.
Ann would agree with that. Her 7-year-old beagle, Lizzy,
"has lost an owner and two other loved ones over the last
four or five years," Cashel says. Her vet told her that
Lizzy is grieving and will take time to heal.
Lizzy doesn't want to be left alone now, Cashel says. She
thinks "that Lizzy has separation anxiety and that she's
afraid now that if someone leaves her, they won't come
back, either," she says.
Cashel says that if they try to leave her in the house,
"she scratches and scratches at the door, and leaves
indentations in the wood."
They have kenneled her for short periods, but when they
recorded her when they were gone, she made "heartbroken
howls that sounded like wailing the entire time," Cashel
says.
At the opposite extreme is the blue front Amazon parrot
that belonged to Rebecca Grindler's father. The breed "is
one of the top talkers," Grindler said. Yet when her
father died two summers ago, "the crazy bird didn't speak
to anyone for months," Grindler says.
Reporter Sarah Casey Newman E-mail:
snewman@post-dispatch.com Phone: 314-340-8264
===========================
IF your pet is grieving ...
ANIMALS ARE individuals, just as people are. Each grieves
in its own way. Because signs of grieving can be subtle,
we cannot always know when, or if, their mourning ends.
Patience and love are the most important things you can
give an animal who is in mourning, says Harriet Cuddy,
facilitator of the St. Louis Pet Loss Support Group. But
often professional help may be needed.
Veterinarians who understand pet grief can help both
grieving pets and their caregivers. They can provide
important insight, recommend courses of action and
provide individualized treatments, which in some cases
may involve medication. It is not always easy, and it is
not always successful. Some animals simply give up on
life. And yet ...
A cat named Mitzi went into deep depression after the
death of her elderly companion, the only companion she
had ever known. She required not only unrelenting
patience from her new caregivers but also months of
medical care, complete with round-the-clock force
feeding, to save her life. She is healthy and happy today
in her new home in south St. Louis County.
- Sarah Casey Newman
~Crossposted with permission/Bird Breeder-Hobbyist~