love me

[tangamom]

How long will it take for my new lovie to bond to me? He was hand fed but has been alone in a cage at the pet store for several months. I have had him for a week and he is 5 months old. He never tries to bite me but he doesn't want me to mess with him either. I have been holding him close and talking softly and he will sit there. I have been trying to teach him to step up. He does well for a few minutes and then flies off. He will also sit on my shoulder for a bit. Any suggestions would be so appreciated. I want him to love me!

[linda040899]

Roxanne,
Sounds like you've made great progress in just the short time that your new lovie has been with you!

It's hard to gauge just how long it takes for a strong bond to form and each bird is different. At this age, lovies are curious, so part of the leaving is the desire to find out what the rest of his new home is like! :) All you can do is be patient. Trust takes time. :)

[bellarains]

Roxanne,

You are doing everything right. As Linda said, trust takes time. As you gain trust, love comes with it :)

[BarbieH]

:) It reminds me of an old song recorded by Diana Ross and the Supremes, and later by Phil Collins:


I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take

You can’t hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

[shylevon]

As I sing a happy song about love waiting...

Try going into a smaller room, like a washroom, for your alone time. If birdie sees you as his safety net, he will not want to fly away from you. Birdies are also more dependant in dim light, as their eyes are not as good then. I find the best time to bond with birdies is in a darker room. You can play the role of the big, strong, birdie protector flockmate. Not a bad station in life, I think.

Everything takes time, and your sweetie's time in the pet store, without daily interaction, has turned him a bit wild. He will come around. Take extra care not to get to the point where he wants to bite you, though. Birds last resort in communication is to bite, and if your birdie feels that this is the only way to get you to listen to him, he will begin to revert to biting more often.

[Janie]

I agree with all the above! :D The fact that he's not biting is a good sign, too! He'll come around......time and patience! :)

[jetanlori]

Hi Roxanne, I am going through the same thing. Mango will only sit on my back uder my hair. When I try and get him to step up he flies at my face. Papaya is on my shoulder now but loves me to hold him in my hand wiht my other hand cupped over him like a little cave. But he too does not like to step up. Right now I'm concentrating on them just getting used to being "ON" me and getting used to my hands and touch. Then I will work on the step up part. Experts...am I doing this right or should I be doing step up first??????

[tangamom]

Do you keep Papaya and Mango in the same cage? I am curious because I was thinking I would like to get another! Addictive they say!

[jetanlori]

Hi Roxanne, yes I do keep them in the same cage. That was my sole purpose for getting the second one.

[Janie]

Roxanne, if you are considering a second bird, give some thought to the sex. If you're sure your bird is a "he" and you don't want babies, you'll want another male. Male's do normally get along better together than two females, not always but usually. I thought long and hard about adding another one and did get two, DNA'd brothers. They are caged together and adore each other. They are also very friendly with me. They are NOT friendly with my older single male lovie. Since your lovie is so young, it will likely be easier to introduce a buddy although there are no guarantees that any two will like each other.

Lori, I think you're doing fine. I use the step up command most often with my 5 1/2 month old lovies when they fly to the floor. I started that from the day I brought them home and after a couple of weeks, it clicked. They step up at my command about 99% of the time now. Even if they are on a perch, they'll do it. With my older bird I've never said the words "step up"......I just show him my finger and he's on it as fast as he can get there! :lol. You've had your lovies for such a short time and allowing them to move along at their speed, like you're doing, is, IMHO, the best way to go. Do try the step up several times a day so that at least they will get used to hearing those words and again, it worked best for me in the beginning when they were on the floor and really did need to step up.

[tangamom]

Thanks so much Janie. I am going to get Pappy DNA tested to be sure he is a male then I will be on the hunt for a new baby boy! I will be getting back to you for tips on how to make them friendly with me and each other! If I happen to end up with a girl and end up with a pair is there a way to prevent babies without stressing the birds? P.S. Finally got my picture uploaded.

[BarbieH]

Hi Roxanne;

He really is a cute little birdy. :)

As far as getting a new one acquainted with your current lovie, remember that first you will need to keep them completely separated for 30 days, as a quarantine. This is to protect your current bird from any possible disease that may still be incubating.

That 30 days (30 days minimum; 45-60 preferred) is an ideal time for you to get to know your new bird. Working with one new bird is the same as working with the one you have now: It takes time and patience, lots of love, and keeping in mind that deep down, all birds are wild animals. Even the so-called tame birds are not domesticated.

Once the quarantine is over, you would put their individual cages side by side and let them get used to seeing each other. You can watch how they behave toward each other from their own cages. There are no guarantees that they will like each other, and you really can't make them do it. But if you give them time to get used to each other, you will increase the chances that they will accept each other.

Hope that helps. :)

[Janie]

Roxanne, you're welcome! :D I'm glad Barb mentioned the importance of quarantine. It's a pain in the rear but very necessary for the protection of your existing bird and it really does give you one on one time with each bird during the 30 to 60 days of separation.

As far as keeping them from laying, if you have a male/female.....nope, I don't think anyone has figured out how to stop them but you can stop eggs from hatching by boiling them and putting them back in the nest or replacing them with plastic eggs. You're not actually killing a baby by doing either one of these things since the chick is not anything but yoke for the first few days after the egg is laid. I don't know how many days and since I have males only, I'm not up to speed on eggies! Anyway, if Pappy turns out to be a male, a second male would be the best way to go if you don't want little lovies all over the place! :D