1st time out (sorta)

[Kumashe]

Ok, so I've been leaving my lovie's cage door open (while I was around and the room was bridie proofed) so that he could come out if he wanted too. Well today, he decided he wanted to come out on his own. The problem was he didn't want me to come near him. I tried to catch him and put him back into his cage since he wasn't interested in being around me, but he kept running away from the cloth I tried to catch him with (I don't think using hands would be good considering how skittish he gets and how sharp his nails are right now :omg: ). I'm not sure if this is such a good idea anymore. Maybe my plan wasn't as good as I believed it was.

Do any of you have any advice for what to do if this happens again? (Meaning: what can I do when he comes out to help him understand I'm not going to hurt him and/or what can I do in terms of hand taming, teaching to step up, or the like.)

I just want to have a plan for if he decides to come out again.

Thanks in advance. :D

[Kumashe]

BTW: He doesn't flinch as much when I go near his cage, at least when I tell him why I'm there/what I'm doing. He can still flutter quite a bit, about a foot high or so. This poses a problem for taming as well in a way. He flutters across the room to get away. :cry:

[kimsbirds]

If you're determined to begin taming before the bird is ready, at least use a wooden dowel for step-up commands. The only thing you're doing right now is scaring the bejeebers outta the bird with a big cloth and your hands. He doesn't trust you yet so if you get close, he'll flap around and try to run away. Wrap a sprig of millet around a 2 or 3 foot wooden dowel ( you can buy them at Walmart) and offer that as a perch for him to step up to. Move slowly and speak quietly. Don't expect him to do it right off the bat, it might take a couple of weeks before the bird will allow the perch to be infront of his feet. Training this bird may very well take you months, if not a year, so my suggestion is to go VERY slowly. Everytime you upset the bird only sets you back more in the trust area. Trust can and is gained without hands-on work, so I advise you to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you're trying to accomplish.
I don't mean to sound harsh but it doesn't sound like your bird is ready yet to be held or handled and each time you try, he is petrified, which only teaches him to fear you even more.
Try working on step-up in a darkened room, with barely any light. Since they cannot see to fly away, you might have some luck. Again, don't rush it and take it very slowly. Good Luck
K

[LauraO]

Kumashe: The most important advise anyone can give you is to take your time and be very patient. This is very hard as we humans, especially me, are very excited to have a lovie and the way we show affection is being close and touching. Unfortunately, birds are very different. You started off doing all the right stuff, but may have taken a few steps back by chasing the little guy around........I would start by sitting by his cage and talking to him whenever you can. I always talk to my birds when I'm in the same room as them. At first, this may feel weird but that's what being a bird owner is all about:whistle: . Your little guy is still new and scared, and realistically, he is not going to show any interest in you for quite some time and that time could be months (or more).

My first lovebird was Zimber (avatar). We got him almost six years ago and he was the wildest birdy ever born and talk about a runner. He would run and run and run and bang in to stuff, jump off high places, and generally go crazy trying to get away from me. I had to step back and take things at his pace. I started by talking to him and then I set up a really long ladder that went from his cage to my desk and it took months for him to start coming down the ladder, and he would run away the minute I flinched or move even a finger. During this time, I was upset that I couldn't cuddle Zimber but he was the best and most entertaining pet I ever had. He would climb all over my stuff, and he fell in love with the television. My husband and I put a cable wire in front of the t.v. so he could climb in front of it. He would flap and flap those little wing wings of his trying to get inside. I was lucky as Zimber would usually go back in his cage so I would just leave him out til' he went to bed. If not I would wait til' it got a dark where he couldn't really see then get him.

The one thing I remember is my husband building a relationship faster with Zimber than I was. Looking back, I realize it's because my husband had no expectation or need to touch Zimber to be close to him. Zimber has always loved my husband and after a few months he would sit on my husbands shoulder and stomach and my husband was able to stick train Zimber so he wouldn't have to touch him, because everytime we touched him we would lose a lot of the ground we gained. In fact, it was only after I stopped trying to touch Zimber that we got close. He's going on six years old now and I can't imagine my life without him. He still HATES hands but is one of our sweetest lovebirds and loves to sit with us and play silly games. In fact, a few minutes ago he was hanging off my husband's head and banging his beak against his glasses:D . Zimber is stick trained so we don't really touch him unless we have to. If he's in the mood he will step up on my finger but only after I beg, and if I get him in the bathroom I can touch him. The best part is he doesn't run if a hand gets close to him as he TRUSTS us.

I guess the point is that all lovie relationships are unique and it's up to you to take the time and patience to let your lovie trust you enough to show you his true personality. I know you can do it, just don't give up as I've always found the small steps with the really untame scared lovies are often more rewarding that manhandling a tame cuddly baby:cool: .

[Mummieeva]

Honestly I would let him go back in at his own pace. I never try and catch mine unless they have to go back and there is no way they can be out. Like in that I have to leave room for a long period of time. My first bird was a masked and she liked to come out as long as I did not try to touch her at first. Your have to take cues from the bird. I would say if possible let him come and go on his own. I always take the time to clean birds cage when they are out flying. Please remember the bird will take time. But remember rushing in can be like one step forward and 100 back. We are not saying this to be mean. We were all new owners once and some here(myself included) have made miss-steps we want to help others with.



Steph

[Kumashe]

Thank you all for your responses. I know it will take time for him to trust me but I am really trying to be patient. The only reason I tried to catch him myself was because he couldn't reach the cage by himself. When I'm able to get a packet of tinker toys or a long ladder as a way for him to get back to the cage, I won't have to chase him around.

Thanks again.

[Mandolin]

Kumashe, i know this is a very difficult time. When you bring a lovie home, especially after reading all the wonderful stories about the antics of other member's birds, all you want to do is have that kind of relationship too, asap. My first bird, Nini, was very wild and was scared and very uninterested in people and hands. I got some very bad advice from people (before i found this forum) and told me to take him out right away and get him used to us and he will come around very quickly. Instead he flew all over the place (He had a very bad wing clip so could still get considerable height) and the poor thing flew into a wall trying to get away and he passed away a week after we got him (we are assuming thats why he passed). I was heart broken and very resentful of the horrible advice i was given >:. It is very important to work at your bird's own pace and build trust before trying anything too durastic. I am sure that progress will be made and you will eventually have a great relationship, i mean if Laura's Zimber can come around, any bird can ;). Best of luck to you. Enjoy your bird, they are sooo entertaining even if you aren't the one they are interacting with at the moment, don't stress, the little guy/girl will come around.:)

[Janie]

Yes, "ditto" to all of the above advice and especially about patience. That is something that I didn't have to deal with as all of mine came to me tame but I did have to work on the step-up command with my younger two and even through they were tame, they'd still fly off and that command took at least a month to sink into their little lovie brains. I did have to have patience, and a lot of it, trying to change Oliver's poor diet. I don't think I've ever had to have more patience before. And I'm still working on that.

A long ladder that will extend from the floor to the cage is something I just bought this past weekend. Couldn't find one at the bird fair but did find one at my favorite bird store. Wooden and the prefect size for lovie feet.

Kumashe, remember that these first few weeks are crucial to a good bond between you and your lovie. I'm sure he's still very frightened and confused about his new home so you have to be the calming person in his life and patience is the key. :)

[Emery]

I'm with everyone else on this one. But I have to say, I'm really impatient and like someone mentioned, I just wanted to take my lovie home and do exactly what everyone else gets to do - right away. But I also realized, that if I want a great, bonded relationship with my lovie for the next 20 years, then I could be patient for the first couple of months. Try just sitting by her cage, where she/he can see you, and talking to her or just do some work, read..whatever..next to her. Play games with her, blink and look around a lot when talking to her...:)

[Janie]

I'm with everyone else on this one. But I have to say, I'm really impatient and like someone mentioned, I just wanted to take my lovie home and do exactly what everyone else gets to do - right away. But I also realized, that if I want a great, bonded relationship with my lovie for the next 20 years, then I could be patient for the first couple of months. Try just sitting by her cage, where she/he can see you, and talking to her or just do some work, read..whatever..next to her. Play games with her, blink and look around a lot when talking to her...:)

Emery, excellent advice! A few months of patience will pay off in the long run! :)