Really worried about grieving lovebird

[BessB]

Hi,
I am new to this forum and have posted on the "introduce yourself" thread but I wondered if anyone has any good advice. I have had two masked lovebirds for 5 years, they were 1 year old when I got them and have never been apart. Sadly, one of the birds died this week which has been upsetting for all of us. I am very worried about the remaining bird, as he is constantly calling out to his partner and seems distressed. Is there anything I can do to help him? I am very reluctant to introduce another bird, as apart from anything else the same circumstances may arise again in the future when one bird dies and the other is left? I am sorry if this seems a stupid question but I really don't know what to do and it is breaking my heart to see him in this distress.
Thank you in advance for any advice
x

[butterfly1061]

I replied to your introductionpost, but I'll post here too. Pat will need some extra attention now that Frank is gone. Is your lovebird tame? It will help dor you to call back to Pat when he/she calls out. Whistle or talking back will work. This is a very sad time for Pat and it will take a while to get over losing his/her mate. :(

[BessB]

Thank you, that is good advice, it is so sad to hear Pat calling out and getting no reply

[Paulette]

Hi Bess:
I had a tame pair also and I accidentally killed one trying to pull blood feathers. The remaining one searched and searched for the other. It was heart breaking. He would go around to all of the cages looking for her and calling her. He quit making his cute little kissy noises. I got him a mate, a hen that had also lots it's mate. The breeder asked me to give her back all of her toys including one with a mirror. Usually mirrors are not recommended because they cause aggression. But for a bird who just lost it's mate it really helps them especially if you don't have any other birds. They see the reflection and think it's another bird.

Not long ago someone posted that the remaining bird really does need to see the dead one to realize it has passed and lessen the greiving process. I was really leary of this when I first read it, but recently lost a hen. She died in the nest box. I layed her in the floor of the cage and her mate inspected her and tried to revive her for about 5 minutes. He gave up and went up to the perch. He did not greive like my other male. Nor did he search. So there really is something to it.

If he is not eating be sure to get him some sprays of millet. They will usually eat it when they won't touch anything else.

So sorry you lost your Frank. If you get another bird, you will have to introduce it slowly after a minimum quarantine period of 30 days/60 is better. But a new bird can be introduced in it's own cage right next to Pats cage. Of course you'll want to know the sexes of the birds. Two hens can't live together, but 2 males can. Good Luck.

[BarbieH]

Hi Bess;

I'm so sorry to hear about your family's/flock's loss. :( I agree that calling back to Pat will help some. He needs to adopt you all as his flock right now.

Also, do you know what the other bird died of? Be on the lookout for possible signs of illness and prepare to call the vet if needed. If pat suddenly gets quiet or inactive, or has runny droppings or anything else noticably off-normal, it would be something more than grieving.

Best wishes,

[LauraO]

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your lovie. Grieving is a natural part of life and I agree that giving Pat extra attention will help him through this process. It's just my :2cents: , but I would not give Pat a mirror as he would likely develop an unhealthy attachment to it. He has been with your family for a lot of years and will do better with more attention and love, and if Pat's not tame now would be a time to start getting closer and building a better relationship with him.

Good luck and keep us updated:)

[Dove]

Hi Bess...

So very sorry about your loss...wonderful advice from forum members...I had never heard of showing the dead animal to it's grieving companion but it makes so much sense...

I have had great success with flower essences...and other vibrational essences...for my cat's...dogs and fish over many years...we especially found these useful for the rescued Greyhounds we had and the many fosters over the years...I have used them for grief and loss of a companion animal...my brother and friends have used them for their birds...all large parrots...

Bach's "rescue remedy"...is a good one...Pegasus Products makes many animal elixirs...they are on the internet and are wonderful to deal with...their remedy's can be made/set with small amounts of vinegar to hold the vibration if the small amounts of alcohol used are a concern...they can advise you...though many old folk remedys and tonics for birds used whiskey and water...I have used it successfully with wild birds for shock...though I do not recommend this for grief...

In the April issue of "Bird Talk"...pg 3...Kings Cages advertizes...Avian Natural Remedies...which are homeopathic remedies specifically created for birds...there's one called "no stress" which calms fears and anxiety....it may help...I have not had an occasion to use these yet...as a family we have had success using homeopathic medicine many times for ourselves and our pets...

They really do work...good luck whatever you decide to do...

[Mummieeva]

I am very sorry to hear of yours and Pat's lose. My male of my pair sadly passed away last year. His mate looked and called for him often and I just had to try and reassure her. Just like humans birds grieve. Just talk to Pat often and call back to her. I hope you and her both feel better soon.




Steph

[Illumen]

Hi Bess, so sorry about Frank. I would give Pat lots of love and attention at this time of sadness.

Mena

[BessB]

Ah thank you Heather, maybe when the time comes I will take you up on that!

[DebSpace]

Hello, Bess, I wanted to thank you for posting your loss of Frank and concerns about Pat's grieving. The responses have helped me as I just recently lost Tux, my 3-year-old male, :cry: and am worried for my female, Nip, as she is despondent. Tux was an absolute sweetheart and Nip and I miss him so much. How is Pat doing now? I was thinking of looking for another lonely lovebird to keep in a separate cage in the same room to see if that did any good. Anyway, I appreciated reading all the responses generated from your post. Kind regards, Deb

[LauraO]

I was thinking of looking for another lonely lovebird to keep in a separate cage in the same room to see if that did any good

My six year old black masked lovie, Zimber lost his mate of five years earlier in the year. He is not handtame, but is very human friendly. He has had absolutely zero interest in any of our other birds and we have a young masked lovebird that would be a great partner for him. Instead, Zimber has become a lot closer to us humans. First, he attached to my brother in law, but since he moved out I've become the object of his affections when my husband isn't home. I think I would wait and just spend some extra time with Nip. It may be that you two hit it off and there's no need for another bird or if she seems lonely after this adjustment period you may bring another bird into her life.

Good Luck

[LauraO]

I was thinking of looking for another lonely lovebird to keep in a separate cage in the same room to see if that did any good

My six year old black masked lovie, Zimber lost his mate of five years earlier in the year. He is not handtame, but is very human friendly. He has had absolutely zero interest in any of our other birds and we have a young masked lovebird that would be a great partner for him. Instead, Zimber has become a lot closer to us humans. First, he attached to my brother in law, but since he moved out I've become the object of his affections when my husband isn't home. I think I would wait and just spend some extra time with Nip. It may be that you two hit it off and there's no need for another bird or if she seems lonely after this adjustment period you may bring another bird into her life. For our situation, Zimber is not interested in another bird and even when we brought Squeaker home for him it took months and months of Squeaker's incessant resolve to be Zimber's friend that finally one him over. Of course, every situation is different so give it some time and see where things go from here.

I am so sorry for your loss:(