Uncontrolled Mating Behavior

[baby0082girl]

I have a male Peachfaced Lovie that has decided to turn my head and stuffed animals into his mates. I am curious to if anyone knows of a way to stop this aside from possibly finding a female. I am afraid of him possibly killing a female because he is 2 1/2 years old and the only bird in the house now, plus he is territorial. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks in advance.
Marlena

[LauraO]

Marlena: You are experiencing a common lovie behavior and there's really not a lot you can do about it but get used to it. In fact, a mate would not likely have any affect on this behavior and he/she may join in......A lot of my birds do this and at first it was uncomfortable for me and my husband, but over time we've gotten used to it and let it be. I would just make sure you keep the stuffed animal he's humping clean. A few of my birds use this stuffed bear and I just throw it in the washer when it needs cleaning.

[mjm8321]

Yep, fairly normal male behavior. I try to discourage them from actually doing anything on my person, but providing them with a stuffed animal, like Laura suggested, soft perch in the cage or a bird buddy. Trying to make him stop can be more detrimental than allowing the natural behavior.

[baby0082girl]

I have let this go one since he was 6 months old and it doesn't really bother me, but he seems to do it at the worst times usually when company is here. He has close to 50 stuffed animals that he does this to and 6 birdie buddies that I switch out in his cages. Just seemed like it might be bad for him for some reason.

[mjm8321]

Unless he is injury himself (the feathers in the "swishy" region ;) ) he should be fine. When I had lovebirds in my living room, it seems as though they waited for company to show up for mating displays, etc... If it bothers your guests, perhaps don't allow him out when they are there.

[Buy A Paper Doll]

I can't add much except to say that you are definitely not alone. My male bird, Milo, humps the back of my husband's hand while he's watching television. The first time he did it, hubby was rather startled, to say the least. He said, "what do I do?" I told him, well, you can either leave him where he is, or if it really bothers you, you can put him in his cage. Hubby put him in the cage. Less than 5 minutes later I came back in the room to find Milo back out, humping the heck out of hubby's hand. Hubby looked at me guiltily and said, "I felt bad." :lol

[Cakepro]

I strongly discourage this behavior by giving a major earthquake to my peachfaced velcro birdie when he does this. After several magnitude 9 quakes, he doesn't try it anymore. I don't think allowing animals to use humans for sexual outlets is healthy or acceptable. What he does in his cage is his business but I certainly don't allow it on me.

[Mummieeva]

Marlena, as disturbing as it may sound it is kind of a good thing in a way. That means your bird likes you alot. LOL. I know that sounds weird but it is true. For your bird to pick you as his mate means he is bonded to you. There are no physical reasons that it can hurt him as long as he does not try to mate with anything that can harm him.


Steph

[butterfly1061]

Well, you're probably going to think I'm VERY strange, but my Molly (a male) does swishy-swishy on a paper towel wrapped around my fingers. I let him do this just about everyday. I know it's weird, but I figure it's part of his nature and he sees me as his mate. If I say "swishy-swishy" he runs over to me and gets right in my face and chirps at me until I get the paper towel for him. >o


I strongly discourage this behavior by giving a major earthquake to my peachfaced velcro birdie when he does this. After several magnitude 9 quakes, he doesn't try it anymore. I don't think allowing animals to use humans for sexual outlets is healthy or acceptable. What he does in his cage is his business but I certainly don't allow it on me.

This is pretty harsh for something that comes natural to an animal. It's like telling you, you can't do anything that comes natural as a human, ie: sex.

[BarbieH]

There really is no healthy way to stop a bird from doing what comes naturally. Birds that are discouraged from their natural sexual behavior tend to develop other behavioral problems, like feather plucking and other types of self mutilation, screaming, etc. I would much rather let a bird hump.

With my males, the sexual behavior seems to wax and wane. Others I have heard of, seem to go at it nonstop. I would advise you to let your bird go at it and see if he stops on his own. If you try to stop him, it might also make him more intent on the behavior -- not what you want. :)

Best wishes,

[sdgilley]

Of my three birds, only Peter wants to play humpty dumpty. His choice is his happy hut - daily, sometimes more. I'm fortunate that he doesn't hump me. I don't encourage or discourage his behavior. He's quite happy. Sometimes Luka (also male) gets inside the happy hut to watch.:rofl: :rofl:

I try not to place too many "human" stigmas on animals.

[LauraO]

Well, you're probably going to think I'm VERY strange, but my Molly (a male) does swishy-swishy on a paper towel wrapped around my fingers. I let him do this just about everyday. I know it's weird, but I figure it's part of his nature and he sees me as his mate. If I say "swishy-swishy" he runs over to me and gets right in my face and chirps at me until I get the paper towel for him. >o

This is pretty harsh for something that comes natural to an animal. It's like telling you, you can't do anything that comes natural as a human, ie: sex.

The way this post was worded it does sound a little harsh but in some ways I understand it. With my lovies, this behavior seems a lot more harmless and I don't mind it. However, when Mijo, my CAG, wants a little love I get a little different perspective :eek:. He hasn't tried to hump anything but he does like to grab onto my hand and beat his beak on it and bite it. If I pull away, he gets mad and he will sometimes bite hard. Also, a lot of what I read about larger parrots says to try and discourage this behavior at all costs, and they note the reasons such as it causes behavior problems, plucking, etc. Of course, part of me also thinks it's harder for Mijo to find something to straddle so he can hump it:x . Most of my lovies like to hump my husband's head, their bear, or some soft perch or towel. I did at one time have a lovie who had chosen me as his mate (Chopper). He liked to hump my poney tail. I tried to get him to stop for months but found it caused me more stress trying to stop him then just putting my hair up and letting him do his thing.

Anyway, just some thoughts

[graushill]

I don't really understand in which way it would be "unhealthy" for your lovie to hump your head. It doesn't affect his health at least, but I understand if it makes you feel uncomfortable. One of my lovies developed an affection for feet and he would really go at it any chance he got. Since this usually happened to my husband, I'm afraid I mostly thought it was really funny, but my poor husband, well he didn't like it so much. So our solution: not give him access to feet. Like your lovie, my lovie had other hump places so this didn't affect him that we could see at least. It's been a few months since we instituted the "no feet" rule and just a few days ago I was sitting in bed with my feet in the air, when Pidget, my lovie, landed on them. And you know what: he apparently has forgotten his feet fetish, since he didn't try anything at all. So, it could be also that your lovie forgets after a time. In any case, I agree with those who posted that it's a natural behaviour and as such should not be punished. Just my :2cents:.

Good luck,
Gloria

[Cakepro]

Well, you're probably going to think I'm VERY strange, but my Molly (a male) does swishy-swishy on a paper towel wrapped around my fingers. I let him do this just about everyday. I know it's weird, but I figure it's part of his nature and he sees me as his mate. If I say "swishy-swishy" he runs over to me and gets right in my face and chirps at me until I get the paper towel for him. >o



This is pretty harsh for something that comes natural to an animal. It's like telling you, you can't do anything that comes natural as a human, ie: sex.

There is a vast difference between discouraging unaccepable behavior that takes place on my person (such as birds masturbating, or biting, or whatever) while allowing/ignoring such behavior when it takes place in the bird's own cage.

I taught my bird that that sort of behavior is unacceptable on me, and he no longer tries it. If my B&G macaw were to attempt to mate with me, I would discourage that too. If I had a dog that wanted to hump my leg, I likewise would discourage that. You may choose to allow and even initiate sexual activity with your bird but I find that absolutely disgusting. :x I'm sorry if you find my honesty harsh, but dang...that's just gross.

It may very well be his natural instinct, but I am a human, not a bird, and I am my bird's owner, not his mate. I neither encourage nor allow any sexual acts to take place upon me by my birds. And because I'm trying to eat breakfast, I'm bowing out of this discussion. :) :lol

[butterfly1061]

It may very well be his natural instinct, but I am a human, not a bird, and I am my bird's owner, not his mate.

Well, obviously your bird doesn't see it this way or he wouldn't be acting out his sexual behavior. :whistle:

[RicosPoppy]

Ricos enjoys socks and soft shirts mostly. I took away the happy hut a long time ago but it didn't take him long to find a replacement. Clothing... :p

I have to say I'm in the camp that empathises with the fact that we not only have the responsability as bird owners to provide the safest and most secure environment for our birds to thrive in, but we must also remember that these guys are still acting out of instinct, not intellect. And to attempt to remove one of the most basic instincts in the entire animal species seems a little unreasonable.

I can understand someone not wanting to be a part of this behavior, but especially for single bird owners, I realize the importance I play in the social behavior of my parrot and the last thing I want to do is discourage part of the behavior that has allowed us to bond so closely. I am very honored to know my bird feels this way about me. >o It is a very rare and unique experience to bond with a bird and the last thing I want to do is give him the impression something is wrong when it's not.

And besides, who doesn't just love that look on their face afterwards. That look of total Bliss... :p

[BarbieH]

There is a vast difference between discouraging unaccepable behavior that takes place on my person (such as birds masturbating, or biting, or whatever) while allowing/ignoring such behavior when it takes place in the bird's own cage.

Aha! I understand you now. :) I misunderstood and thought you were trying to discourage your bird in general. And I agree that birds should not be encouraged to "mate" with their humans.

I'm at risk with my bird Sammy. I'm his human, but I don't want him humping on me for his own sake; it can also lead to avian frustration and plucking, etc. A long time ago we had a member whose male lovie was devoted to her, but he developed a very bad plucking problem. (All medical causes were ruled out.) Too much bonding from a hen to a human can lead to chronic egg-laying problems.

I make sure Sammy has access to safe plush toys -- his favorite is Fuzzy Frog. His cage-mate and brother, Didjit, humps his happy hut. I don't want either of them to think that I am a true mate. The Association of Avian Veterinarians has also warned against this too-close bonding.

[butterfly1061]

Ricos enjoys socks and soft shirts mostly. I took away the happy hut a long time ago but it didn't take him long to find a replacement. Clothing... :p

I have to say I'm in the camp that empathises with the fact that we not only have the responsability as bird owners to provide the safest and most secure environment for our birds to thrive in, but we must also remember that these guys are still acting out of instinct, not intellect. And to attempt to remove one of the most basic instincts in the entire animal species seems a little unreasonable.

I can understand someone not wanting to be a part of this behavior, but especially for single bird owners, I realize the importance I play in the social behavior of my parrot and the last thing I want to do is discourage part of the behavior that has allowed us to bond so closely. I am very honored to know my bird feels this way about me. >o It is a very rare and unique experience to bond with a bird and the last thing I want to do is give him the impression something is wrong when it's not.

And besides, who doesn't just love that look on their face afterwards. That look of total Bliss... :p
I couldn't agree more. Thank you :)

[Cakepro]

Well, obviously your bird doesn't see it this way or he wouldn't be acting out his sexual behavior. :whistle:

LOL, which only goes to show that I am smarter than my bird. :rofl:

[linda040899]

Sherri,
i agree with you and my birds would never be allowed the act of self-satisfaction on my person. I don't encourage it in any way, as I feel it would form a strange bond between human and bird that just isn't natural. Inanimate objects are different than live, warm blooded ones. While I can't stop the behavior, I have control over where.

[butterfly1061]

I have control over where.
Linda,

I do agree with this as Molly only does swishy-swishy on a paper towel or kleenex and relates this act to these objects. He has never done this on my person. In fact, if he sees a kleenex or paper towel on the sofa, he will try to do swishy-swishy without me around. He has never even tried this on my hands which he tries to regurgitate to almost everyday.

[Cakepro]

Well, you're probably going to think I'm VERY strange, but my Molly (a male) does swishy-swishy on a paper towel wrapped around my fingers. I let him do this just about everyday. I know it's weird, but I figure it's part of his nature and he sees me as his mate.


I do agree with this as Molly only does swishy-swishy on a paper towel or kleenex and relates this act to these objects. He has never done this on my person.

With all due respect, these two statements seem quite contradictory. When you intentionally get a paper towel, wrap it around your finger, and let him have a go at you "just about everyday" -- as opposed to just leaving a paper towel in his cage or playstand -- then you are encouraging him to do this on your person. :eek:

What you do with your animals in the privacy of your own home is your business, but maybe you ought to consider giving the boy some private paper towel time in his cage instead of upon you. ;) :) :D

[BarbieH]

It's true that a lovie might not discriminate between a wrapped finger and "you." Sam treats my fingers and hands in particular as animate beings. I can't say for sure what is going on in that little brain, but I'd rather be cautious when it comes to that sort of bond.

AAV.org used to have a very good paper online from one of its conferences, regarding human-avian bonding and the potential risks to our companion birds. That group now limits what you can read from its conference proceedings, but that paper might still be out there. Apparently the avian vets have seen a lot of behavioral problems.

I find it more frustrating, trying to stop Sam from feeding my fingers. Then again, he will try to feed quite a lot of things -- FF, his water dish, cage bars, etc. Still, it concerns me when it comes to him feeding me. Think there's a risk of an inappropriate bond?

[graushill]

Hi Barb,

I would think that since the feeding response is also connected to their sexual behaviour, if letting them hump on you can lead to a too close bond forming, then wouldn't the same thing be true of letting them feed any part of your body? I can understand that having a lovie attach itself to your hands is much more difficult than your feet or your head for example, since in a way how are you supposed to handle them, clean their cages, change their water, food etc., if you can't use your hands? Tricky situation.....

I guess one way is to try to figure out whether Sammy really sees your fingers as "you" and therefore if feeding your fingers equates for him "I'm feeding my mate" or if for him they are one of the many objects he bestows his affections upon and therefore no different and no more important to him than Fuzzy Frog. Does he try to feed Tim's fingers also?

I'm sorry, I guess I'm not being any help at all. I think this is an interesting topic but I have never had any of my birdies think of me as their mate, although I never did think of such a bond as "inappropiate", just you know, more natural and ultimately much more rewarding for them to bond in such a way with another creature of their same species and so far I've been lucky that all of my birds take to other birdies; even my Pidget, even though he's afraid of the others, he's still in love with Pontus, and I'm just food provider/cage cleaner/convenient perch/giant who takes care of him when the others bother him. I understand that Jackie has tried to make Molly bond with other birds, and that she has brought in Piper, Daisy and Olivia in so far to no avail. So I wonder in that case, when however much you try for your bird to bond with another bird, s/he is just not interested, what is the best to do? Would it still be better to refuse?

Gloria

[BarbieH]

Thanks for the input, Gloria. :) I appreciate you (and anyone else) helping me think this through. Two heads are better than one, and all that. ;)

Regarding fingers: No, Sammy doesn't feed Tim's fingers. Sometimes he just plain attacks them. Sam perches on my hand/fingers very readily, which is nice, because isn't that what we want our birds to do? But there are some days when he immediately starts trying to feed them.

I don't offer him food from my hands any more, again being afraid that it was sending a mixed message; but I'm afraid that message is long ingrained, with Sam being handfed from day 1. The thing is, Tim and I both fed Sammy the chick; Sammy the adult will mainly try to feed only me (or those other inanimate objects I mentioned). I think he has tried to feed Tim on occasion, but certainly not often.

I think Sam would like to feed Gracie but he isn't sure what to do. He loves visiting her from outside of her cage. George doesn't like it very much, but he is at no risk of losing Gracie.

Didjit has no problem feeding Gracie. He started doing that just before he was separated from George and Gracie's cage, and will do it whenever he visits their cage from the outside. Didjit does not try to feed Tim or I. The only other thing I've seen him feed is his happy (humpy) hut.

Guess I answered my own question, eh? :confused: I'll keep trying to discourage Sam from feeding my hands by distracting him to something acceptable, like poor, long-suffering Fuzzy Frog. I think substitution is probably the best solution in his case.

[sdgilley]

Sometimes Peepo asked me to feed her, and she'd open her mouth. I guess she figures since I won't let the boys come over and feed her, then maybe I will. When she does this, I usually just laugh, tell her sorry, and rub around her neck a little. She's stopped asking me to feed her.

Barb was referring to bonds between bird & person. Well, Peter & Luka where bonded until they had access to Peepo so often (through the bars only). This caused a problem with the relationship between my bonded males. I was very unhappy with this, until I decided that I needed to try and set this right again. I stopped the boys from visiting Peepo's cage at all. Slowly, the boys have become friends again. Peepo and the boys still get hours of time in side by side cages, but they don't come out to visit - except separately with me. My point (yes, I have one) is that the bonds between birds or birds & people is a tricky thing. Quite frankly, there are dogs and cats that are way more bonded to their owners than you'd like to think. Birds are very smart and that poses more of a challenge. My lesson learned is that in my house that bond is a changing & evolving thing.

[Cakepro]

Earlier this week, the director of the National Parrot Rescue & Preservation Foundation came over to do a home inspection, which cleared the way for me to adopt a super-spoiled velcro sun conure named Gypsy. She mentioned that one of her three African Greys is bonded tightly to her husband, and barfs for him whenever the bird is on him. One day she had a nice barfy gift ready for him when he turned his head and started to speak, and got it smack on the kisser. UGH! ROFL!

My B&G tries to feed me every now and then, which I've always discouraged...but what I find puzzling is how much time he spends head-bobbing/pumping when he's feeling content, like he was a baby bird (he's nearly 5). The director of the parrot rescue said that could be a mating invitation too. *Shrug*

Do female birds bonded to their human owners make any kind of mating attempts? I've long wondered if my supposedly-DNA-sexed male B&G is really a girl, unlike what his previous owner told us.

[Mummieeva]

My females have never tried to do any feeding to me. Baggy did try a tail raise to me once. But I said no thanks and she did not try again.



Steph

[BarbieH]

We've had members whose hens bonded a little too closely with them, and chronic egg laying was the result. I don't recall if the hens performed any self-gratification around their owners, but they did present themselves rather flagrantly. :x

You know when you are too close to your hen when ... she lets you pet her beak and hand feed her bits of food when she's sitting on eggs!

I don't know about larger parrots. Linda owns a couple of Macaws (Military) as well as Greys, so maybe she would have more insight.

[Janie]

Well, I don't have hens and the first time Oliver scratched his cheek and turned in circles while making that clicky clicky noise, I was so happy to know that *I* was his chosen one. He's older and has never tried to feed me nor have I seen him masturbate but if he chose to do that on my hand, I would not find it offensive. Not in the least. These birds don't have the "hang-ups" that we have. I did not like it much when he tried to nest in my hair but that was only because I had to cut the knots out.

My "Shy" boy is in full swishy-swishy mode and his chosen object is either his birdie buddy or Olivers and that is fine but the one time he tried to feed my finger, I was fine with that, even honored. If he had chosen me instead of one of the birdie buddies, I would have been fine with that, too. I guess that everybody had different opinions about that. I think it is nature and nothing about it is gross to me. The first time I ever observed the real deal, the real swishy-swishy, was at Jackie's house. I was in awe of the entire ordeal. I didn't find it vulgar or gross or anything but a bird being a bird with no hang-ups involved. I don't find it at all odd that Molly has chosen her as his mate. He was her first bird so, why not? I do have control of my birds, as does she, but our goal is to make them happy above all and if their behavior is normal and not hurting themselves or anyone else, why in the world would that matter to anyone else? I sure doesn't matter to me. If need be, I'd turn by birds over to her care any day. I know they'd be showered with love and the best care. :)

[BarbieH]

... if their behavior is normal and not hurting themselves or anyone else ...

I understand where you're coming from, Janie. Jackie too. I was also honored by Sam's preference for me; he is the first bird who willingly lets me hold him. In fact, he's the only bird who lets me hold him. But that isn't necessarily a good thing for him when he wants it to go beyond cheek kisses and head scritches.

I want him to be happy, but I need to make sure he is healthy too. It isn't normal behavior for a bird to bond to a human in that manner. According to the AAV, it can lead to behavioral problems which in turn lead to health problems. I've seen people on the old board who experience problems with their lovies due to inappropriate bonding. Birds are quite different from pet dogs and cats, and ought not to be petted the same ways.

I do everything I can to make sure Sam knows he is a bird, without making him feel that I have deserted him emotionally. Believe me, I know what a fine line that is to walk. The AAV advises companion bird owners to limit non-care touching to the head and neck, but not the back or belly, to keep the bird from thinking that the owner is a mate. I choose to follow that advice for the sake of my bird.

[Janie]

Hey Barb, can you post that one more time? :lol

I've noticed that all posts are in double or triplicate. Guess it's that vbulletin thing going on.

I do have to add that since Oliver has come to like and enjoy the company of real birds, he's far less a velcro birdie and I am very happy about that. I took photos of him last night up on a boing hanging from the bird room ceiling and just a few months ago he was scared to death of a boing or anything that moved. I think he "acts" so much younger and definitely happier because of their company. The best part.....I never feel guilty when I leave him now since he always had his little brothers in the same room. I didn't think Oliver would ever choose another bird over me but he does fly off me and back to them often. :D Big Boi has not showed any signs of puberty yet and Lord only knows how that will effect their relationships when he does. Two birds after Oliver might be overwhelming! :lol

[BarbieH]

Well, it's kind of related to the system glitches; part of it is the "software" in my head. When the post went to an error message the first time, I tried again, and then one more time. Now they're on the board, but until the show up as being a reply to the message, they don't exist enough for me to be able to delete two. :lol

[LauraO]

This thread is interesting and seems to bring to light some of the fundamental problems with avian companions. I'm not saying birds should not be a part of our lives, but we are debating appropriate and inappropriate relationships with our avian companions. In the wild, birds have strong bonds with their partners, relationships that are often stronger and longer lasting than we humans can understand. So it seems a single bird loses out no matter what. Either is has a unfufilling relationship with it's human or non-sexual relationship at all. Personally, I think it depends on the bird and human. Again, this behavior makes me more uncomfortable with my CAG, but having the lovies masterbate on people/things does not bother me. Like Janie said, it's just nature.

I also wanted to add that some of my lovies (male/male and female/male) like to get funky on my hubby's head together. I also have several females that hump stuff. And finally, I don't think a hen letting someone handfeed them means their relationship is too close or inappropriate. I have several hens that will let me feed them and give them water in their nestboxes as I remember Rita's Sunny doing something similiar.

Just :2cents: