help! they HATE each other!!!

[jal]

Hoping someone out there has some tips for me...I have a one year old male lovebird named Debby (I know - I just found out she was a he). Got her (him)as a baby and she is very hand tamed and very smart. I wanted to wait until she was completely spoiled and comfortable with the family before getting a buddy. Well, that buddy came in the form of a 3-month-old named Jeff last week (except, I think JEFF is a female because he/she is already bigger than Debby).

Jeff came straight out of the cage with his sibling and is used to another bird. Debby - not so much. She hates the baby bird. I have their cages right next to each other. Each time I try to introduce them in a cage together, Debby attacks and of course, goes for the baby's toes. It is awful.

I have tried getting them together outside of the cages on neutral ground. They just kind of ignore each other. If I introduce food, Debby immediately becomes agitated.

Any suggestions for me to help these two get along??? I love them both - they are the sweetest things ever and beautiful to boot! Do I just need to give it more time or is there something else I could be doing?

I appreciate ANY help I can get. I can tell from reading the messages that you guys know what you're talking about!! THANK YOU!

[Janie]

Hi Jal,

How long have you had Jeff? Introductions take time and sometimes lots of it. I added two more (DNA'd brothers) into my home last year where my older adopted bird lives. Oliver is around 10 and has never laid an egg so while he's never been DNA'd it's safe to assume at this point he is also a male. I figured that bringing in two more males would be an easier adjustment since Oliver is my mate and very bonded to me. I didn't want babies and also wanted to keep the two brothers caged together and knew it would probably be easier with two males instead of two females. I quarantined the new birds for a month and then slowly introduced them to Oliver. I stood no more than two feet from them to be sure that Oliver didn't get hurt and did not turn my back on them for a second. On their first outing together, they did take a bath! :D But, there is no doubt that Oliver was far from comfortable with them and because they were so birdie friendly, they thought nothing of getting right in his face. I let them have outings together every day for months (around 6 months) before I felt comfortable that Oliver was not going to get hurt and in my case, it's worked out very well. The brothers share one cage and Oliver has his own but when I'm home, all three are out in their bird room and they do get along great. The only time I have a problem is if they are all three on me and then one of the brothers, "Shy" does become a little aggressive towards Oliver and Big Boi. He does not like to share me so I avoid that situation. Both brothers try to feed and preen Oliver and in the last few weeks (after having them for a year!) he has allowed Shy to do both! It takes time and sometimes it works out and other times two just won't ever get along with each other. Just be careful to supervise them closely when they're out.

[jal]

Thanks, Janie. Jeff has only been here for a week. I guess I need to give it a LOT more time. When they are out, they are with me PERIOD. I don't take my eyes off of them. I just hope and pray that SOME DAY they will enjoy each other. BTW, I only assume Debby is male be/c of the manical perch humping ;) No idea what sex Jeff is other than he is bigger than Debby and is still a babe. The breeder told me that she thought Jeff is female be/c of his size. Confusing, to say the least.

[LauraO]

Normally birds are to be quarantined for 30-90 days before there are any introductions. This is for the health of both birds, but it also gives us humans time to get the know the new birdy. Since it sounds as if there was no quarantine, please watch for any signs of illness from either bird.

I have found that older, and especially older established birds, have no interest in younger birds. I would slow way down and not expect them to ever get along. This way you can treat each bird individually and over time they may like each other. I would also take the time, away from Debbie, to work on a relationship with the new bird. If Debbie is used to humans he/she will likely be jealous and even more mean to the new bird if he/she sees you interactive a lot with the new bird.

Good Luck and just remember to take things REALLY SLOW

[Janie]

I have found that older, and especially older established birds, have no interest in younger birds. I would slow way down and not expect them to ever get along. This way you can treat each bird individually and over time they may like each other.

Yes, I agree. When I decided to add two more I most definitely assumed that they would never get along with Oliver or him with them. I got lucky but I think my case is the exception rather than the norm. If Oliver were not so laid back, I doubt it would have worked.

[jal]

Thanks for the info, guys. I was never told by either breeder (both of whom are supposed to be reputable) about quarantining. I only just found that out by reading this board yesterday. Sigh.

Anyway - Debby is only a year so I thought she'd be excited to have a buddy. Obviously, this is not the case. I have been handling the baby out of her sight, and when I return him to his cage I always take Debby out for a while.

I'll just continue to handle them on neutral ground together without food, and take it slow as you all advise. Shame on me - I thought I was educated!

[Janie]

No, I'd say shame on the breeders! The breeder I got Big Boi and Shy from actually suggested 30 to 90 days quarantine and that I have them checked by an avian vet within 72 hours, which I did. I found this forum 2 years before I bought them so I did know but otherwise, I would never have given it a second thought. Check out the Lovebird Resource Library on the home page of the forum. Lots of great advice and information there.

Again, it is way too early to know how well they are going to get along. As we've said, it might never be a match made in heaven but it might work out in the next few months. Oliver was/is a velcro birdie and I was shocked that he eventually learned to share me with those two brats! :D There are many times now that he'll fly off me to get back with them. :whistle:

Just keep doing what your doing and give them time.....:)

[BarbieH]

They might get along better once Jeff reaches maturity, at least in appearance. I think the slow introductions with you, outside the cage, are the way to go.

If you are comfortable enough to introduce one bird to the other's cage again -- if you see signs that Debby might be starting to accept Jeff -- put Debby into Jeff's cage, not Jeff into Debby's. It's better if the less-aggressive bird is given home turf advantage.

Best wishes,