bonding

[nosernggrl]

I have had my little Bijou for a week, and while I realize that it takes time for her to trust me, I feel like we are going backwards. When I get home I open her cage and she comes out on her own. Then I can usually coerce her to climb on my arm, but when I go to get her to perch on my fingers she literally squaks and tries to fly away. Then we have to play catch, because if I try to go after her, she continues to glide away from my fingers. However, when my husband tries to get her to perch on his fingers she has no qualms about it(and he's been gone 5 of the 7 days). Could it be that she's bonding with my husband and not me? :cry: If so is there anything I can do to get her to bond with me?

[Janie]

Adrienne, I promise you that a week is no time at all! I'll be interested in how it's going in the next month or two! :D Everyone says "I know I have to be patient" but then want to know why it's taking so long! :lol I was the same way and I know it seems like you're not getting there as fast as you want but it will happen, really! :)

It could be that she isn't crazy about perching on fingers and since she's constantly seeing yours she's very aware of them and ready to take off to get away from them. Since your husband hasn't been around much since you've had her, she might not recognize his fingers as the ones trying to get her to perch. Have you tried a dowel instead of your fingers? That might work better for now and then coax her on to fingers a little later when she does trust you more.

I think I already told you this in an earlier thread but my last two came to me hand fed, very socialized and tame as could be but they didn't know or trust me at all. It was at least 3 or 4 weeks, working with them every day, several times a day, before they flew to me instead of away from me. Even after a whole year they are just starting to trust my hubby. A little.

Talk to her as much as possible and spend time just watching her and enjoying her. The more she is used to seeing you around, they more relaxed she'll become and the trust will begin. :) And the less you have to play "catch" the better. I know that sometimes you have to catch them against their will but getting them to go in and out of the cage on their own, if possible, is best. A couple of times my hubby and sons let Big Boi and Shy out while I was gone and when it came time for them to go back into their cages, OMG, it took them up to an hour to round them up! :lol I told them not to let 'em out! :D

[LauraO]

You might also try working with having her step up on a perch/dowel/stick. That way she doesn't have to worry about your hands whatever the issue........I do notice sometimes I try too hard with my birds and more times than not, they don't like this and I get the opposite effect. I've had the greatest success when I just step back and take things slowly.......Does your husband say step up in a firm voice or does she just step up on the finger automatically? If you are doing something different from your husband than try what he's trying. You might also have him work on the stick training with her which will make it easier on you.

[nosernggrl]

Its weird really, because he will firmly say step up and she does, like its something she already knows. But when I do it, she looks at me like I'm an idiot. :mad: I don't get it. Maybe she thinks its a game. I will try the dowel/perch/stick idea, maybe I will have more luck there. And I will continue to try to take it slowly, but sometime I loose patience and MUST play with her. :whistle:

I'll keep you all posted on her progress. Thanks for your help! This community is absolutely fantastic!!!

[nosernggrl]

I just wanted to brag a little and let you all know that Bijou has gotten better. She perks up when I walk into her room, and she will let me pet her in her cage without freaking out completely. I have gotten her to step up onto my fingers and another perch, but its splotchy.

Also, she pretty much doesn't like my husband because he's been gone so much. It's pretty great that she's really bonding to me, I can kind of see her look towards me for approval when my husband reaches to pet her. It is so adorable. :D