Getting my lovebird out of the cage

[Kaytee]

Hi everyone, im new to the thread and I really need your advice.
I have had my lovebird for two weeks. The pet shop that I got my little love bird,Kiley, at said that it was ok to grab him if he doesn't want to get on my finger. They said that you have to show him that your the big boss. But I think that he just keeps getting more upset by doing that. But once he is out he loves to sit on my shoulder and give me kisses. He still doesnt like my hands thought. BTW he is only about 5 months old. I feel like im making no progress with getting him out of the cage.
Should I grab him from the cage, like the pet store said or should I use a different meatod?

[chris_lynn]

WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!?????? they told it was ok to grab him!!!!!!! wow i wouldnt do that.... you should just get him used to your hand first. start byt opening the cage door and resting your hand really far from him and work you way up. when he lets your hand touch his stomack THEN you can start trying the step up command. u MUST try and build his trust first!!!!!

[kimsbirds]

Please don't reach in and grab your new bird. Imagine being his size and seeing a huge hand coming at you ! How scared he must be!
Two weeks is not a lot of time for this bird to learn to trust you. Therefore, I would suggest you continue to gain his trust through talking, changing his food/water dishes, chirping at him and generally hanging out in the same room. This way he gets used to you and your sounds and looks.
When you are ready to open his cage to begin training, DO NOT put your hand in his cage. This is an invasion of their space and will only take away any trust you've earned thus far. Make sure the room is birdie-proof and that he's had a modified wing clip. Open his door and just watch. Encourage him to come out but don't force him. Try this several times a day. After a few attempts curiosity is likely to take over and he'll try venturing out on his own. Once he's out of his territory, he will likely be less scared.
Let him investigate the area around his cage. Leave him perches and toys to play with on the outside bars, not just inside.
You can try to either teach him stepup with a wooden dowel (perch) or your hand/finger. A gentle nudge on the belly with either of these plus the command 'stepup' will get the bird understanding what it is you want him to do. Repeat this exercise many times, always praising him for good behaviour.
After this basic command is learned, the door is open for you to offer your shoulder, your hand, even resting him on your chest.
Remember to take every day VERY slowly and don't force him. Let him set the pace at which he wants to learn. Some birds take a few weeks, others take months, many months. Since he's young, I bet if you slow down and earn his trust, he'll adapt quite willingly to training.
Best Wishes
Kimmie

[Kaytee]

So should I not handle him anymore until he wants to come out on his own? Should I start with leaving the door open or should I just us a dowl instead? Im so confused and overwelmed because I just want whats best for him. And did I scare him to the point of him never bonding with me, since I tried to grab him for a week or two? I feel so bad that I did that. I know it scared him but I listen to that stupid pet store!!!!

[linda040899]

Nope. Let him come out of the cage on his own and work with him there. Like Kim said, the cage is HIS home and your hand is a large invader. You've only had him for 2 weeks and that's not near enough time for him to learn to trust you. Birds are very intelligent and need to learn through experience. You know that you won't hurt him but he has nothing in his database that lets him know that!

Start by leaving the door open and finding something to do in the same room. Do your own thing and he will most likely want to see what it is that you are doing. Lovebirds, especially young ones, have insatiable curiosity about what's going on and what they can get into. Many of us here have been in the same position you are in. We've tried various methods but this one really works. Love, kindness and tons of patience..........

[kimsbirds]

Don't worry !!!
All this is going to take is a bit of time :)
For now, stop trying to get him out of the cage. Let him feel comfortable in his new home. Just because you aren't physically holding him, doesn't mean you can't interact :)
Sure, you'll start sounding like a bird, but so ?? LOL
Wait for subtle signs from him that he's ready for the next level.
He might stop cowering in the corner of the cage when you come in the room. Maybe he waits by a food dish for you to change it. He might start making a different chirp noise when you get home. Listen and watch. He'll give you a sign of some sort. Then you can proceed as I explained earlier .

You haven't ruined him. We're all here to learn and teach. Shame on that shop for giving you incorrect advice. None of them probably even own birds at home..

Just be patient and don't worry ! Birds are flock creatures, they need and crave interaction with others. Since you are his sole caregiver, it seems natural he'll choose you as his flockmate. It'll all come...in due time :)

Enjoy !

[Kaytee]

I just feel so bad for scaring him so much:cry: . But now that you guys helped me out I feel like I have a plan to help him overcome it. I just hope I didn't scare him too much. Im glad I found this website in time to help me tame and train him to be a nice loving bird. So from now on im going to just leave the door open and interact with him in other ways? Sounds good to me. I want to be able to bond with my lovebird like all of you have, so im glad everyone is helping me out here:) Thanks everyone! One more question. Do you think he will ever bond or even trust me after I did that to him? And how long should it be until I can hold him again? And is petting him aloud? Sorry for so many questions:confused:

[LauraO]

I would say anything related to your hands touching the bird are out. I would focus on what others have suggested. If your lovie is okay riding on your shoulder then open the cage door, let him come out on his own and walk by and offer your forearm or shoulder. The less you try and handle your bird the more he will feel safe and begin to trust you.

It's never too late to build a trusting relationship with your bird. My first lovie Zimber is one of those wild petshop birds that freak out when you even look at them. He's six now and we have the best relationship. He still doesn't like hands but he's not as frightened and a big turning point for him and I was when I stopped even trying to touch him. He will step up on a stick and ride around on shoulders, play games, give kisses, bite toes and just generally be a little velcro bird as long as he's not touched.

Anyway, take it slow and read some of the resource library and the taming threads to learn more.

:D :D

[Kaytee]

Thank you so much everyone for helping me. I was so confused before but now I understand what I have to do. Hey this is my first lovebird so I was bound to make some mistakes.>o I just hope that Kiley will forgive and bond with me in the furture. Anymore advice?