Aggressiveness

[yellowbird]

I am wondering if anyone can help me with an issue I'm having with Yellow. First of all she really doesn't like either my husband or my son. My son is five years old and since she's bit him several times he doesn't really want to handle her. She's actually quite a nervous bird and I think he scares her moving around the way he does for a five year old. He'll talk to her, but that's about it. I've tried to tell him and my husband that they need to feed her treats and do stuff with her, but neither really care to. If my son gets too close to Yellow, she will put her head down, raise her feathers and charge. And I've noticed that when my husband is around, she wants to go to him, but not because she likes him (at least that is what I'm thinking). She will climb right up his chest to his face and get real close and squawk real loud at him and it looks like she's trying to pick a fight with him. He tries to hold her on his finger, a distance away, but she'll fly right up on his chest and do the same thing time and again. Then when he tries to get her out of his face, she'll bite. I go over there and tell her to be nice and try to get her attention, which usually stops her from biting, but when I try to get her off of him she lunges and bites me. Once I got her off of him, she calms down and will listen. He's done nothing bad to her. He used to let her out of her cage all the time when I wasn't home (he works out of home most of the time) and would let her sit on his shoulder (when we were letting her do that), but then she started biting him and my son all the time, so both of them have lost interest in her. What should I do? Has anyone else had this problem and how did you solve it? I'm at a loss. I can understand if my husband and son don't want to hold her all the time, etc., but I don't like her being so mean to them either.

[mjm8321]

Yellow is bonded with you and is letting everyone else know that you are her pet. :lol My suggestion would be to let your husband know that if he comes near you while she is with you or near her cage, he's going to get attacked...end of story. He'll need to work alone with her to get her to accept him and handle her without attacking; however he's got to understand, he's probably going to get bit in the process. Taking her away from her cage, perhaps in another room alone, where he can work on building her trust and he can watch her "pre-bite" behavior to learn how to avoid getting the bites is important.
As for your son, it's hard to explain, especially to a little one, that the bird isn't being mean or trying to hut him, but if you can get him to understand that, he may want to try again with Yellow. Something as simple as letting him carry Yellow across the room to you will let help reassure him. It might be easier to have your husband and son work together (without you in the room) on gaining her trust and bite avoidance. With all that said, Yellow might never stop the behavior. The bets thing will be to modify your (you and your family) behaviors around her. I know, 40 grams of feathers ruling the house!!!?!!! :omg: :lol

[yellowbird]

Why is it though that my husband will be on the other side of the room and she'll deliberately get down from where she is and go over to him just to "tell him off"?

It's amazing these birds. It's hard to believe that this little bird has such a personality and can be so aggressive like that.

I am going to have my husband read your post and see if both of them will be willing to work with her in another room without me around. I have stick trained her. Smart bird picked up on it in two days. I've tried getting my son to handle her that way, but he's still too leary. We tried working with her with him trying to do up and she bit him, so he's just scared of her. He was willing to work with her for awhile, but I think her biting him so much he just got too scared. I'm hoping my husband will be up to working with her by themselves. I don't want her to be mean to them. I can understand she's bonded to me, but I can't have her chasing down my boys and trying to attack them :)!

Otherwise, she's really become a sweet bird.

[Buy A Paper Doll]

A thought on small children and birds. You are right that your 5 year old may be making your bird feel nervous by making a lot of sudden moves near her cage. And a nervous bird is a bitey bird. How to fix this? Make sure she has a place to hide in her cage; even a big toy positioned near a perch so she can hide behind it might help her feel more secure. Talk to your little boy about being 'gentle' around the bird's cage. Work with him and the bird together, away from her cage, for very short periods of time (just a few minutes) every day. Praise your bird for not biting; my birds' little faces just light up when I tell them they're good birds. :)

There are some folks on the board whose children are just great with their birds (and their birds are just great with their children). It just takes time and patience, just like it does with adults. :) The thing with lovebirds is, sometimes it takes a long time to earn their trust, and if you violate that trust, it takes even longer to get it back. Example, my male lovie is very tame and friendly and will step up to anyone who holds their hand out. But twice now, visiting children have put their hand out for him, and when he tried to step up, they screamed and pulled away. So he's skittish around kids now, which is understandable.

Hope this helps,

[BarbieH]

Another thing that might help your husband's relationship with Yellow Bird is if he starts doing more cage chores -- feeding, changing water, cleaning the tray, etc. Once Yellow sees him as someone who will take care of her, she will view him as less of a threat.

It takes time. I went through the same thing with Gracie, except I was the intruder and Tim was the good guy. :roll: It took some time, but she has come to accept me as a friend, though not an equal. ;)

I agree with Jennifer about the relationship between your son and Yellow. Most children don't understand how to modify their behavior around birds, and it's perfectly normal for kids in that age group. Teaching him bird care by having him help you, supervised, will give him a chance to learn and observe, with the safety that your presence provides. :)

Good luck!

[LauraO]

I'm wondering how old Yellow is???? Because If I remember correctly you mentioned that she hadn't always been bitey. In my experience it seems as if young hens, along with nesty hens, bite a lot more. If this is the case, she may stop some of her biting as she gets older though you still need to work with her. Even my crazy creamino CuddleBunny is starting to mellow out as she gets older and she's one bitey and crazy girl.

As for your son and husband, I say it's time to stick train Yellow if she isn't as of yet. That way they can carry her around on a stick or dowel without having their fingers be targets of a mad birdy beak :).

[yellowbird]

Yellow will be four months old the 28th of this month. So she's still a baby. I'm hoping that she'll tame down too as she gets older. She's still quite a nervous bird. I have stick trained her...she learned real quick...two days to be exact. I need to find a little longer of a stick so that my son doesn't feel like she can jump right over to him and bite him. Neither one are interested in dealing with her. But I have been trying to tell them that they need to in case I am not home or away and they need to get her out, etc.. I might need to go get a better stick for them to use and then have them do that sort of stuff with her. My son is more of a quiet kid, but moves around quickly like any five, soon to be six year old. I think the biting has just frightened him to the point that he doesn't want to try at all. I'll work on him to try and work with her. I need to convince my husband, that would help a lot too.

[Mummieeva]

JMO but If your son does not wish to hold Yellow then I would wait. My daughter is 7yrs old and has gotten bite a few times. I waited til she was ready to try again. If anyone else need to deal with Yellow let it be your husband. Also lovies go through terrible 2's at around 6 months i have been told. Some lovies are one person people and others are not. Also as funny as this may sound the colors your husband or son are wearing could throw Yellow. My Lovie attacks anything that is black. She hates it with a passion(no idea why).


Steph

[yellowbird]

Actually that is why I have not pushed the whole idea with my son. He still loves talking to her and calling her a "pretty bird" and he still likes her a lot. I ask him if he wants to try and sometimes he'll say yes and then back off when it's time to do it. He's tried the stick a couple times and then got scared, so I let it be. My husband is more brave and will try, but just not in love with her. He's also out of town a lot, so he doesn't have a lot of time for her, like I do. Yellow is definately a one person bird. Though when I went on vacation she bonded with my mom real well. She was quite aggressive with my dad, but then found out that she liked to climb up on his belly and preen his beard. It was quite funny to watch. She loves preening my hair...it's longer and curly. I'll have to watch in regards to the color. I read somewhere they don't like the color red??? I know she doesn't like our toes...she violently attacks them.

Joann

[LauraO]

I have a four month old lovie that BITES all the time. I call him Chewy because he is :omg:. One could view the behavior as agressive but he's really not, he just reminds me of a baby knawing on things, and he likes to play a lot. Of course, I live with it but I'm sure others would be scared off cause he does bite kind of hard.

I'm thinking Chewy will grow out of this behavior as he gets older especially since he wasn't this bitey early on.

[kimsbirds]

Ahhhhhhh those rebellious teens !!
I find many of the babies who are so sweet and innocent suddenly grow horns and a forked tail between the ages of 4 and 6 months. I think it's due to hormones, hormones, some first-molt issues, some hormones, oh...and throw in a bit of hormones...*giggles*

This stage does pass although it may not seem that way when all you get is nip after nip...but it DOES pass ! Keep contact with her through voice, perch step-ups, keep handling sessions very short/brief and always have a sunflower seed in your hand ! ( At least that tends to work in my house LOL)
Good Luck

[Mummieeva]

Hmmm maybe she does not like men? Sounds silly but possible. Baggy loves to preen my husbands beard,and neck,and back,and shoulders...any were hair(which on my Hubby is alot..lol).



steph

[yellowbird]

Too funny. It could possibly be that she doesn't like men. Like I said, she's bonded with my mom, but still tries to get away with stuff with her like climbing up on the shoulder, which she's not permitted to do with me.

When Yellow is out and not being held...which is rare, the bird doesn't like to play much when she's out. She will bite everything! Anything that she can get her beak on she bites. Usually she'll try to bite me when she's doing this. And you usually can't talk her out of being that way and being nice either. I want to read one of the other ladies post again, because I can't have her around me trying to do anything (and not being held) because she bites my fingers, my keyboard, my mouse, anything. Does this pass with age as well?

She's getting new feathers in and I think some of them are painful. She's politely bit me a couple of times when I think that she didn't like where I pet her.

So, after 6 months things should get a little better? When she's nice, she's such a sweetie, but every once in awhile...

[Mummieeva]

It may also have to do with hormones. Baggy is over 6 months old she is closer to 1 1/2yrs old. Baggy only bites my hands never anywere else. I let her on my shoulder and she preens me while I clean her cage and change her food and water. it is when it is time to go back in or I am holding her baby that i get nips and bites. Does yellow give small nips before she bites or just bites? Baggy seems to give me a few warning nibbles(like she is cleaning hands) and then will bite. I am learning to move her down to bed or table when she give them.


Steph

[Buy A Paper Doll]

I find many of the babies who are so sweet and innocent suddenly grow horns and a forked tail between the ages of 4 and 6 months.
This is very very true in my case, too. I don't know if anyone's mentioned the possibility of molting, but that tends to make lovies crabby, too.

Your lovie is learning where her boundaries are. She climbs on your mom's shoulder and she bites your husband because maybe she can get away with it, she doesn't know yet, so she's just trying to figure stuff out.

Have patience! She'll come back around.