A bit of a teaser, eh?

[BluBird]

Hi people. I just joined the site and find it quite helpful. I'll give a summary of my experience with birds:

About two years ago my dad and I went to the pet shop "Petland Discounts" and looked for a playful, colorful bird to buy. The manager helped us out and showed us a gorgeous sun coneur(hope I spelled that right). The moment my dad and I saw it we were like "We'll take her!"(She was 2 years old and named Veronica). The manager told us she was a quiet bird(which I now realize was a worse lie than saying Hitler was a prophet). So we bought her and took her home. We live in an apartment so after 3 months of sun coneur screaming, we returned her. (She was a VERY sweet bird but she needed more attention than we could offer so she would call us by screaming all day). Anyway, so that was my first bird.

Five days ago my dad and I went back to the pet store(a different one) and saw this cute baby lovebird sitting in a box looking up at us with its big eyes. We were looking for something that wasn't very noisy and when the lady told us that she owned many lovebirds and that they were quiet but with occasional chirping sessions. So we bought it(I say it because we don't know the sex) and took it home. It is doing very well and loves its new home. He plays with his toys, goes on his swing, and eats and drinks his food and water. I've kept the good treats so I can use them to train it. So, it's been almost 6 days since had it. But, I notice that when I bring my finger close up to the cage, the bird just starts flipping out! He chirps loudly and runs into the other side of the cage. I bring my finger about 8 inches away before he starts chirping. But! when I open the cage door and set it flat, the bird happily walks outside its cage and onto the door and sometimes tries to fly off it but I catch it and put it back in its cage and shut the cage's door. The bird seems very happy but I don't know why it doesn't like coming near anything I give it. So, can someone help me out with making the bird come to me? Thanks for any help! (sorry the post is so long)

[linda040899]

Hi and welcome to our community!
Congratulations on your new lovebird! Hopefully, you will have a much better experience with lovies than you had with the Sun Conure. Conures are loud, with the exception of Green Cheeks and Painted, and I absolutely hate it when someone lies just to make a sale! It's not fair to the new owner or to the bird who is going to a new, supposed forever home.... >:

Picture yourself in a completely strange place and imagine how you would feel if you didn't know anyone. That's exactly how your new lovie feels. It takes time to build a trust relationship and it means investing time so that the bird learns that you mean it no harm. There are no short cuts, as everyone here can tell you. However, even small steps towards that relationship feel really good!

Read through our Resource Library and the Behavior and Taming Forum. There is a wealth of information in both places. Additionally, our search feature works very well, too! :)

[Ducky]

Check the library is good advice. Also try looking at the African Lovebird Society's Webpage. They have good articles and link to other good articles.

Chances are, since your new lovie came from a pet store, that he's parent raised. If he's young (look for black on the beak) the taming/bonding process will go faster than with an older bird. Either way it will take more time than a hand fed/raised baby. Clipping wings is also usually helpful. It doesn't hurt them and requires they go through you to get around.

One comment about the noise. Birds are almost never a QUIET pet, like you could expect a cat or dog to be. That being said, if you raise them right to avoid screaming problems, the noise doesn't have to be that bad. I live in a house with 26 other college students and my lovie, and we all get along fine :D . It all depends on your tolerance, and somewhat on the lovie. I would recommend getting a book on parrots, such as My Parrot, My Friend. Great book, and aloth of the rules that apply to larger parrots apply to lovies as well.

Congratulations on your new lovie!!! :clap: :happy:

[michael]

Sounds like you have one scared little bird that has no Idea he or she is now getting your individual attention. Arm yourself with information and give it some time. Its a special relationship and bond that is well worth the time it takes to achieve it. Some things happen quick and others over a much longer period of time. As far as noisey bird syndrome, lovies can be a little chirpy, generally not as bad as other species, and when necessary I've covered my lovie Goofy on rare occasions briefly to get 5 minutes of peace when I get home, but it isn't long before he gets his way and we're both just a chirping away! Hope the best for you and your new friend and keep in mind there's always someone here to help try to answer any questions......Goofy N' Michael

[Janie]

Welcome! :)

Great advice from everyone above. Reading the Lovebird Resource Library and previous "behavior and taming" threads (as Linda suggested), are the best places to start. It absolutely can be done but not overnight and sometimes it takes months and different methods work better with different lovies. You'll read about many things to "try" in the behavior section. :)

While my three were tame when I got them, I still had to work on bonding and trust issues and that takes patients and time. When they really learn to trust you, they'll bond. Good luck and start reading! :D

[BluBird]

Thanks for the help. What I was really looking for was that, well, let me state this first: At the pet store, one lady told me it was ten weeks old, which gudging by what you guys just told me, isn't possible because its beak isn't black at all. It's like a creamy pink almost. Kind of yellowish. A blend. And then another lady told me it was 10 MONTHS old! I didn't know what to think because these people will do anything to sell the bird. They tell all sorts of stories that make someone want to but a bird! But, when I brought the conure home, Veronica, she didn't even need to get used to our home, she was just SO happy to have a home that she began climbing all over me. But, this lovie won't even let me go near the cage. And I really don't want to ask about it at the pet store because those people will lie and say it was hand-fed when another will say that it was fed by its mother. I am sure the bird's over a year old judging by the beak color. So, how many days do I need? When will I gain the bird's trust? I never bother the bird and when my dad gets home from work he goes about 2 feet away from the cage and begins talking to the bird just to get the bird's attention so that the bird will get used to us. I bring my head close to the bird's cage and the bird won't be scared, but when I bring my finger near, it just goes NUTS! I really feel sorry for the bird and don't think at ALL that it will ever get used to us. I'm not really concerned about the noise because I very much enjoy the occasional chirping to keep us company. Of course, all birds chirp. I was wondering that if I was to buy a baby lovie, maybe no more than 1 or 2 months old, and hand-raise it myself, will it be alot more friend-like than this current lovie that I have? Thanks very much for the help! It's much appreciated!:)

[dani]

Hi
I've had my lovie Haku for close to 2 months now, and he will absolutely NOT let me touch him. I have accepted that he doesn't like hands, and now i'm just concentrating on making him comfortable in other ways. I followed a lot of advice in past threads on this forum, and I think it;s helped alot. Haku isnt fond of touching, but he does like me to be near him, and he will accept food from me. Be understanding to your lovie; this is all pretty new to him, and he is understandably afraid. Give him time, follow the advice on the threads, and provide him with lots of opportunities to play, eat, and just be himself.
good luck!!!!
dani

[BluBird]

Thanks for the reply. I understand that your bird doesn't like being touched, but there has to be some way of making the bird trust you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the bird's behavior partially related to the owner? I have given the bird a week and it hasn't acted any better than it has the first day I bought it. I'm looking for ways to tame the bird. Ways which will allow me to be able to play and share a relationship with the bird that will last until the rest of its life. I'm not really the type of person to have a bird living in my home for up to 20 years without being able to touch and hold and play with it. Anyway, you guys are the experts, so let me know if there might be no way of getting the bird to play with me. Thanks!

[linda040899]

The key word to earning trust is patience! Love and kindness are very important but it's all for naught without not wanting to hurry the process. There is no way that you can make a bird do anything that it's not ready to do. You new lovebird needs to learn for itself that you mean no harm. You may know it but that's not good enough.

It all comes down to getting to know your bird. You mentioned having a bird for 20 yrs and not being able to play with it. Well, I've had Ginger, my CAG, since 1991 and, while Ginger loves to interact vocally, she does not want to be touched. I can accept that and I totally enjoy her in other ways.

Age does not play a major role in how tame a lovebird can become. Lori (bellarains) got a 2 yr old female from me and Lacey had never been handled. She was parent raised and grew up in my aviary. It took Lori a while to earn Lacey's trust but Lacey is now a very loving companion! Read through Behavior & Taming. The answers/suggestions are there.

[BluBird]

Lori, I was thinking about buying a baby lovie, but was wondering what age would be the best to buy the bird? Thanks!

[BluBird]

Also, how will I know when my baby lovie is ready to step up on my finger? I know I should never grab it by force, but I should let it come to me, right?

[linda040899]

If you are looking for a baby, the youngest you would want to get would be 9 or 10 weeks. It takes about that long for baby lovebirds to be able to eat on their own. I, personally, will not sell any of my youngsters any younger than that.

However, getting a young bird is still not necessarily going to guarantee that you have a tame bird that will bond with you.

[linda040899]

Many private breeders will socialize their babies and many will already know what the up command means. Buying from a reputable breeder is always preferable to buying from a pet shop, if possible.

[BluBird]

Is it possible that when I go see the baby lovies, any will come to me as in saying "choose me!"? Is that how I will know which one to choose?

[linda040899]

Most definitely! I've had a number of birds come home simply because the body language told me "I'm the one who wants to go home with you!) :)

[BluBird]

Well, thanks alot foryour help, Lori. After spending some time with the bird it hit me that this bird was neither weaned, nor was it either of the ages the two jerks at the pet store told me. It doesn't have black on the beak, because one of the people at the store told me it was ten WEEKS old!! I'm REALLY angry at these people and I'm going to make sure they get what they deserve! I've decided to return the bird because I'm positive it isn't a people bird. It likes to stay by itself. It's not that it's shy, because he comes out of his cage only when I open the door and don't try touch him, and that it's already used its new home. But, I really don't want a bird that I can't play with. I know other people don't mind, but I don't think I should pay the pet store for a bird they lied to me about. So, I'm just going to buy a baby lovie from a breeder we met at the store(she happened to tell us everything about lovebirds she could, and she was right about it all). Thanks to everyone for all the help.


Your friend,
BluBird

[salderm1]

You have to earn your lovebirds trust, not the other way around. I've had Link since Christmas and he loves hanging out on my shoulder or hanging on the side of my face on my glasses! But the only purpose fingers has to him is for biting right now! He will let me pet his beek for a moment here or there and twice now when I am putting him to bed and he is all sleepy, I have petted the back of his neck. Anyways, Link started out like your bird, a petstore bird that I don't know how old he is, we have come a great ways, be patient, read what you can, listen to the advice everyone here gives and you will have a great little friend!!!

[Ilovelovies]

Good luck on getting your neww baby lovie. I hope it will live up to your expectations and play with you:whistle: Please remember tho that birds are not toys and that some are more sociable than others. there is no guarantee that your new bird will bond with you and please consider this before you think birds are disposable because they do not fullfill your expectations:(
Sharon

[Janie]

I'm confused. :confused: You said that it was neither weaned or that it had black on it's beak. If the black is gone (except in some lovies species) that means it is an older bird, at least more than 2 to 3 months old, and it certainly would be old enough to be weaned.

If you want to start with a lovebird that is already tame to some degree, you will have to buy from a breeder that hand feeds or socializes or does both. Odds are low that you're going to find a bird, already tame, in a pet store. Even buying a fairly tame lovebird from a breeder doesn't let you off the hook completely in the taming area. My last two were tame and could be held the day I got them at 9 1/2 weeks old but I spend a lot of time with them individually and together for the first month after I got them. I mean that I socialized them at least 4 times a day for 30 minutes or more each time. Sometimes I just sat on the bed in the room where I had them during their 30 day quarantine, talking to them and interacting with them at their pace. Other times I took them into a small, dimly lit bathroom to work on teaching them to step-up. These two lovies, although tame, didn't know who I was and certainly were not attached to me. I created that trust and bond and that takes time. One of my two likes to explore with his beak and has bitten me more times than I can keep track of.....but I love him just as much as I do his brother. Lovebirds, like other pets and humans, are individuals and there are no guarantees what kind of a personality any lovie is going to have.

[wilkiecoco]

I'm a bit confused. You already have a lovie who needs time to be socialize, adjust to life with you, and you are thinking of buying a second lovie. Are you going to be keeping the one you already have?

You need to understand what everyone on this forum is telling you. Five days is absolutely too little time to expect a bird to feel comfortable enough to come to you when called, play games with you, sit on your finger, etc..... You need vast amounts of patience to form a bond with a companion bird, which your new friend is. And now you want to add another one?


My suggestion is that you give the new lovie time to develop a relationship with you, which could take weeks, or months, but it will be well worth it in the end - before you bring a new lovie into your life. They are not disposable items to return when you don't feel they meet your expectations. No matter how old your lovie is, it is now yours. With good thoughts, a positive attitude and as everyone has been saying, PATIENCE, you will have a long friendship with the most wonderful, energetic, happy companion. Good luck.

[butterfly1061]

Janie is absolutely right. I have her younger two's sister and she played with me at the breeders house for about 2-3 hrs when I first was introduced to her. When I got her home, she wanted nothing to do with me. She was scared and I had taken her away from the enviroment she had hatched into. It took some time to earn her trust. She is the only biter of my four lovies, but I love her - beak & all. I learned to watch her body language and our relationship has had it's good & bad points. All four of my lovies have very different personalities and I have a different level of trust with each.

Birds, even a tame one, aren't like a cat or dog where they will snuggle & play immediately. Birds take work and time to establish a relationship. In the end, the type of bonding you get from a bird is like nothing I have ever gotten from my cats I've ever had. Your little bird is scared and it's going to take time and a lot of PATIENCE on your part.


I've decided to return the bird because I'm positive it isn't a people bird. It likes to stay by itself. It's not that it's shy, because he comes out of his cage only when I open the door and don't try touch him, and that it's already used its new home. But, I really don't want a bird that I can't play with.Please rethink on this. This kind of thinking makes your bird a disposable pet - returned or rehomed because it's not exactly what you wanted or thought it should be. It's not fair to the bird to be tossed around from place to place without being given a chance. The breeder you spoke with may be someone you should keep in touch with for a future purchase if you ever decide to get a "friend" for your new pet.

You need to remember - LOTS OF TIME & PATIENCE will change everything in time. :)

[Mummieeva]

Please re-think returning the bird. Very few birds will be tame in a few days . Even my very tame lovebird took a while to trust me.You need to take things at the birds pace. A birds cage if their home and unless it was a emergancy I never stick my hand into the birds cage. I let them come out to me.


Steph

[michael]

Thanks for the reply. I understand that your bird doesn't like being touched, but there has to be some way of making the bird trust you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the bird's behavior partially related to the owner? I have given the bird a week and it hasn't acted any better than it has the first day I bought it. I'm looking for ways to tame the bird. Ways which will allow me to be able to play and share a relationship with the bird that will last until the rest of its life. I'm not really the type of person to have a bird living in my home for up to 20 years without being able to touch and hold and play with it. Anyway, you guys are the experts, so let me know if there might be no way of getting the bird to play with me. Thanks!
You've answered your own question of behavior being partially related to its owner. Being anxious about your birds behavior may in fact delay bonding because most animals can sense uneasyness and anxiety. Do you know if you have a male or female, as so far you don't really know its age. Its unfortunate that pet stores sometimes benefit in one direction instead of actually helping the customer make the right decision. I suggest that maybe if you have doubts about certain expectations for this new pet you may want to return it and take much more time preparing for possibly a better choice. I know that sounds harsh but its early enough to avoid long term consequences for you and your pet. These birds need lots of love and understanding, and time. As much as you can give. And sometimes they don't turn out as expected being not your fault or theirs. I hope if you decide you can keep it you do so understanding its for the long haul, for better or worse. There's not much worse than breaking up after 1, 3, or 5 years for a pet thats at the mercy of its owner, not to mention the guilt it may impose on you. Lots of nasty birds have become lovingly attached to their owner and unless peviously handled a lot before you get them most if not all took a lot longer than a week to let anybody handle them. Hope you make a good solid commitment and we wish the best for you and your new friend, and again if you decide your not comfortable with this bird, please return it safely to the store knowing you made the best possible decision for both of you....Take care.....Michael N' Goofy

[LauraO]

If you decide to return your bird, I suggest you NOT buy another one. You seem to have unrealistic expectations of birds in general and another bird will just disappoint you as birds a complex individuals that are nothing like cats or dogs, and it's not fair to toss away birds just cause they don't please you in some way. Birds will not love you instantly or unconditionally, nor will they continue to love you because they once did, and not letting you touch them does not mean they don't love you. The best advise I have for you is to take a few hours or days and read through this forum where you will find all the answers you need in making any further decisions about birds.

[Janie]

If you decide to return your bird, I suggest you NOT buy another one. You seem to have unrealistic expectations of birds in general and another bird will just disappoint you as birds a complex individuals that are nothing like cats or dogs, and it's not fair to toss away birds just cause they don't please you in some way. Birds will not love you instantly or unconditionally, nor will they continue to love you because they once did, and not letting you touch them does not mean they don't love you. The best advise I have for you is to take a few hours or days and read through this forum where you will find all the answers you need in making any further decisions about birds.

Well, I thought I had nothing else to say but I do. Just this: "Ditto" to Laura. :)

[Elle]

It takes a special kind of person to be owned by a bird. That's right. Anyone here will tell you they do not own a bird but they are owned by one or more.

Parrots are not domesticated or tame animals. Parrots accept and adapt to the environment that humans provide them but that does not make them tame or again, domesticated. It takes a person with a lot of patience and a person with a lot of acceptance to gain the trust of such a wild creature.

It took me a year to get my first lovebird to accept me. And it was not on my terms, but on hers. The day her flight feathers grew enough that she could fly to me and away from me is the day she decided I'm her mate. It took a lot of patience, a lot of tears and I went through many boxes of bandage before SHE accepted me. Not the other way around.

If you want a pet that will accept you instantly, you may want to look into a different type of pet because it definitely does not fit with what a parrot is.

Even a socialised baby may not want anything to do with you. It may choose your father as it's companion and see you as the maid who offers fresh food and water and cleans the cage everyday. You have to ask yourself if you are prepared for such a possibility if you get another bird.

Best regards,

[BluBird]

I'll rethink about returning the bird. Listen, I was going to return the bird because I think the bird will be MUCH happier with another bird than it will be with me. If I had the room, I would've bought the lovie it was with in the pet store (yes, there was another lovie in the cage that my bird was in while at the pet store) and let these two bond while I enjoy seeing them play with eachother, even if I couldn't play with them. I'd rather they be happy together than shy by themselves. And, maybe most of you are correct. If I give the bird time, it may choose to bond with me. But, mainly I'm returning it not because it hasn't reached my expectations, I only thought what the people at the pet store told me. And they said in a week the bird will be happy to play with me. I'm returning it because most likely someone else will buy it and pair it up with another lovie. I can never be sure if the bird will be friends with me. Anyway, I'll get my dad to try not to return the bird, and I think the reason why I expected the bird to be social in a week was because of the conure I had, which didn't even need to get used to the home. He just hopped on to my hand and began playing. So, I guess I thought the lovie would be just like the conure, which, after reading on conures, I now know the differences. Btw, my bird has a red-orange tag on its leg. What does this tag mean? It has a few numbers on it. Michael, how am I supposed to show the bird I love it when it doesn't want to come near me? Besides leaving the bird alone for maybe a month, as in not bringing my fingers close up to it, what can I do to show it that I care for it. I bought some treats for it and it eats them occasionally. I really wanted to keep the treats for teaching the bird tricks and using them as rewards.

Today I went to the local craft store and bought a 2.5 ft. 1/2 in. thick wooden dowel. Since I really don't have the room to train the bird the way other people do, I thought I could get the bird to come to me on the dowel. I opened the cage door and pretty soon I saw the bird step up onto the dowel. Very slowly I moved the dowel towards me. But, when I would move it to the point where the bird was out of its cage, the bird would hop back into its cage. I was thinking this may be a way of me training the bird to get used to me. Was this a good idea?

[Ilovelovies]

Right now your little lovie is depending on you for food, water and shelter. It has come to rely on you for it's survival. Try for a moment to look at the world thru your lovies eyes.Can you imagine what a big scary predator we must look like to them? In time, it will accept that you are not going to hurt it, but you must be consistant with your daily interaction with it. Like Elle said it could take quite awhile and you have to have lots of patience. I know when i was young(those were the days:lol ) i did not have hardly any patience and i probably would have gotten frustated with a lovebird real quick! Having a pet is a commitment, through good times and bad, (kinda like a marriage:) ). Please try not to give up on your little bird. Keep working with it and it just may surprise you with it's ability to love!
Sharon

[michael]

Your lovie doesn't understand that your trying to show it love. It only knows where it gets food from, not what type of character or personality you have. Birds don't think like humans but can over time learn limited responses to how we treat them. Poeple who genuinely care for birds love and care for them no matter how they turn out especially seeing how its their world we're being accepted into. We have the advantage over most animals because of our intellectual capabilities, even though I wonder about that sometimes, its easy to take in an animal, poeple do it all the time, but the hard part is getting them to take us in. It takes a lot of time and understanding and we cannot MAKE them respond the way we want. Unfortunately poeple dump their pets every day because the pet doesn't live up to unrealistic expectations it never understood to begin with. Would it be fair if we were put in that position without even knowing why? Returning a pet to where it came from is the humane alternative and again I hope you take the time to make sure your willing to accept this bird no matter how it turns out. Not everybody is prepaired to take in a lovebird or any other animal for that matter. This is only one good reason why this community exists, to educate poeple, help them through tough times, and prepare them to make sure their making the right choice. Certainly having a bird play with us, cuddle with us, do little tricks for us, sounds very colorful, but this is behavior that is the icing on the cake and should never be used to help decide whether you should have a bird or not. Something that some pet stores instill in the back of your mind for sale purpose is how wonderful and easy to care for these birds are, but in fact this couldn't be farther from the truth. Personally, even I didn't understand everything involved in owning a lovebird, and will most likely always be learning something new. Even though my Goofy lovie turned out likng just about anybody, I had no Idea how he was going to turn out. I did though, in my heart, know I would care for him and love him no matter what. Again, we hope the best for you and your new friend take care...Goofy N' Michael.

[BluBird]

Ok, well I convinced my dad (quite easily, really)to keep the bird and that I would tame the bird to bond with us. So, gotta wait to see what happens. Something that just hit me was that (which if any of you mentioned, would've changed my mind instantly) the bird may take even 4 months to get used to me, BUT, it's worth it in the end because I will have a friend that will be bonded with me for the next 15 years. So, if I just fill its water every day, clean out and put new food once a week, and clean the cage every few weeks or so, I guess the bird will realize that I care for it, right? I'll take a few pictures of it and post them here so you guys can see what it (I hate saying 'it', but I don't know the sex) looks like. (I can't think of a unisex name so you guys can help me out with that)

Btw, by what age does a lovie get fully grown? I'm pretty sure that mine has its permanent feathers and that it's at a fully grown size. A few things that hint its being happy is that it grinds its beak, chirps all sorts of songs throughout the day, and steps out of its cage when I open the cage door even though my mom, dad, brother and I are all in the room. It flys out after about 5-10 minutes of standing on the cage door. Anyone know why this may be? I can't touch it but it will step up onto a stick but won't come any closer than 2 feet near me. Does talking to it help? My dad comes home from work and sits near the cage a starts talking to it and the bird chirps back but not in a frightened way. Before I forget, sorry for calling you 'Lori', Linda. (I think I'm going blind, hehe) Have to wait and see what happens.

Ben

[linda040899]

So, if I just fill its water every day, clean out and put new food once a week, and clean the cage every few weeks or so, I guess the bird will realize that I care for it, right?
Water dishes should be changed at least daily, if not more often. Many of mine get cleaned 2-3 times because birds love to create "soup." Not a healthy thing to drink after a few hrs....

I clean my cages every day, simply so that I can monitor the droppings on the bottom. If you check our Resource Library, there is an article entitled "Poopology" that explains what the different things you might see mean. Additionally, birds need fresh food every day, not just every couple of days! Mine get a combination of seed and fresh food so that their diet is varied. If you happen to use frozen veggies instead of fresh, those should be removed within 4 hrs of serving or the bacteria count can get high enough to make your lovie sick if he/she eats them.

Lovebirds are actually full grown, except for gaining a bit of weight, at age 6 weeks. They may get a bit heavier but they will not grow any larger.

[Chiappone]

A few things that hint its being happy is that it grinds its beak, chirps all sorts of songs throughout the day, and steps out of its cage when I open the cage door even though my mom, dad, brother and I are all in the room. It flys out after about 5-10 minutes of standing on the cage door. Anyone know why this may be? I can't touch it but it will step up onto a stick but won't come any closer than 2 feet near me.
Ben

I just want to let you know you can do WAAAAAY more with your new bird already than I can with mine and I've had them for almost 2 months now. >o Mine were supposedly hand-fed and tame to the breeder I got them from, but I can get no where near them, without them flipping out still. They won't even step up onto a perch for me yet, and so far only my male will ever willingly venture out of the cage and even that takes him a good 15-20 mins to work up the courage and he only sits on top of his cage, won't fly around until I need to try and get him back inside. Though I do think now they are getting into nest mode so who knows what will happen with the female. :omg:

Keep up the effort though, I'm sure your bird will come to trust you soon enough.

Jenn

[Elle]

You mentioned that your bird will fly away after 5 - 10 minutes. It would help in the socialization process if you get the vet to clip it's wings. If youhave not already take your bird to the vet, it would also be a great opportunity to get a birdie well-check.

[michael]

I must mention, Ben, That I change water on average 3 times a day for just one lovebird. I change food in his bowl every other day which are seeds and pellets, then he gets offered vegge's and other foods that are good for him on a daily basis. Its better to start off with the healthiest foods possible because like humans they can be picky. You also want to check food daily to make sure their not sick and not starving themselves by being finicky, as well as making sure they're pooping properly. Cages should be relined with clean paper and thoroughly cleaned a lot sooner than a few weeks. Time limits for getting to know each other, well, there are none. Elle mentioned a year for hers to give you an Idea but that doesn't mean they all take a year. Some bond sooner and some not at all. Your bird will never Realize you care for it the way us humans realize others care for us, again, they don't think like we do. There are plenty of poeple here that have birds that will never let them get "TOO" close for various reasons but they care for these birds very deeply, like family. Ben, it sounds like you need to review other catagories within this community as well as the resource library. There are many other issues you need to learn about besides whether or not your bird will bond with you. Your bird has no other choice but to depend on you for love, safety, and the proper care.......Michael

[Janie]

So, if I just fill its water every day, clean out and put new food once a week, and clean the cage every few weeks or so, I guess the bird will realize that I care for it, right?

Ben, I feed my three fresh seed as well as fresh vegetables every single day, removing the fresh vegetables after 1 to 2 hours to prevent bacteria from growing. I change water 2 to 5 times a day, depending on how messy my birds are on any given day. I clean all three cages daily, with poop off wipes, and then do a thorough cleaning on my back deck, weather permitting, at least once a month.

Your bird will probably not realize that you care for it because of any of the things you mention. Even very un-tame birds get that care (hopefully). Bonding, trust and taming are totally separate from day to day care. I could continue to feed mine and keep their cages clean but without a lot of interaction, I don't think they'd consider me part of their flock just because I met their basic needs. For instance, I feed my wild outside birds every day, even to the point of feeding my bluebirds live meal worms every day, but they certainly are not bonded to me in any way. I provide safe nest boxes and clean bird baths but that does not create any kind of bond with me and my back yard birds.

[BluBird]

The bird's wings are clipped. What I meant to say was that it glides down onto the floor after 5-10 minutes. I'll clean the cage and edibles more often now that I see I should. Talking to it helps? How do I post pics on here? I don't have a web page for my pics. Thanks.


Ben

[BluBird]

Another thing is, when my bird sleeps, it turns its head around and rests it on its back. Does this mean anything?

[BluBird]

There we go. That's my baby bird. Enjoy!

[BluBird]

Here are pics of Blu. (I've decided to call 'em Blu) Enjoy!
(Copy and paste if it's not in link form)


http://www.imagestation.com/mypictures/inbox/view.html?album_id=2093849124&id=3927549244&url=http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid225/pd8282dd32fb9a326864cdcdf4b069d48/ea19a53c.jpg&caption=dsc00238


http://www.imagestation.com/mypictures/inbox/view.html?album_id=2093849124&id=3927549432&url=http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid225/pcb1fad3321dbdfb62dc4a21756b993e8/ea19a5f8.jpg&caption=dsc00236

[Kali]

Welcome Ben and Blu,

I think you had very unrealistic expectations of Blu to start with, but now it looks like you two are doing fine.
Blu looks like a darling. It,s much more rewarding to have to work to earn their trust. They are special unique little bundles of personality.

Kali (housekeeper of Sam-Junior-Nicky-Jennifer- Willis etc;etc;)

[Ilovelovies]

Blu is a very pretty lovebird:) . And blu's sleeping position is perfectly normal!:)

[BluBird]

Because I live in an apartment, there's really not much room to isolate for me to train the bird. An example would be having like a 10'x10' area enclosed with only me and the bird so the bird can't go anywhere and may eventually come to me. Are there any other ways of taming Blu? Thanks. Ben

[salderm1]

Hi Ben, I'm glad to hear that you decided to keep your bird! What I did with Link (who is a pet store birdie) is I covered up my windows and fireplace and anything else I thought he might fly into! Then I opened the cage door and then basically ignored him. Lovies are curious creatures and pretty soon Link was coming over to me to check ME out. I was thrilled the first day he hopped on my shoulder! Now, he demands to be let out when I get home from work and flies right up to my shoulder. He is very nippy when I first let him out so I give him some paper to shred. He still tries to take my fingers off and sometimes bites my neck. But other than that he is a very sweet bird!!! lol Just have patience and let your bird come to you! Good luck!!!

[Janie]

Please check the "Behavior & Taming" section of the forum. There are many, many, many suggestions there regarding different taming methods that have worked for members here. You could probably spend hours or even days reading through all those great thread! :)

[BluBird]

I've spent ALOT of time reading the behavior and taming section and didn't see anything about how else I could accomplish the same task as taming the bird by doing what salderm1 said. Anyway, I kind of rearranged my room and opened a wide area where the bird was safe out of its cage. I opened the cage door and Blue walked ut after a while and before he could get back in I closed the cage door and took the cage out of the room. I went back in the room and shut the door leaving only me and Blu in the room. I had some millet bits with me to use as rewards if Blu came to me. I also scattered a few shelled sunflower seeds around the floor. I put small bits of millet in a line coming to me. While he finished the one he was eating, I cut another piece and put it a little closer to me. The next piece I placed closer and so on until he was about a foot away from me. He wouldn't get any closer, but at the same time didn't seem scared or uncomfortable. He didn't squeak or bite me and didn't try to fly away. (Even if he tried, his wings are clipped) I'm going to try this type of taming for a week or two until Blue feels comfortable around me. He R-E-A-L-L-Y likes millet. But, I try feeding the millet at small bits at a time until he comes to me. Have to wait and see what happens. OH! Btw, my mother has honeysuckle scented perfume sticks that sit in honeysuckle-scented oil. Is this toxic for Blu? Thanks!

Ben 'n Blue

[Janie]

I don't know about that particular scented oil but I would not dare use it (or any) anywhere near my birds. I've read been told by people here and by my avian vet that all scented oils can cause serious problems for their respiratory systems.

[michael]

Ben, Keep your bird off the floor, period. Too dangerous! And you want him to get to know you not just for food. Baiting him with food will only show him thats all you have to offer and you know we are able to give more than that. Please keep his home "cage" in a safe place and don't move it. This is his sanctuary, his home, his safe house. Put it where he won't get to hot or cold. Ben, try not to make or force him to do anything as they are happier retaining some of their natural behavior. And above all Ben, learn as much as you can reading the information available here. No one person can answer all your questions, thats why this community exists. And keep in mind some questions have more than one answer or opinion. Any food your not sure of, simply don't give it. Keep him away from other animals and be careful he doesn't bite anyone else because he may only get attached to you. Care for him no matter if he bites you or not, besides they all bite until they get to know you. I can tell he's a special bird already, so while he learns from you,you need to also learn from him. Give him and yourself plenty of time, weeks, months, whatever because small steps really are more enjoyable. ...Take care.....Goofy and Michael

[BluBird]

Thanks michael. The thing with Blu is that he's an untamed bird, so I don't know how to tame an untame bird. I figured giving it food and taking its cage away from the room would help. So, if Blu shouldn't be on the ground, how do I get him to come to me? And, should I take the cage out of the room when I'm taming him, or should I leave it in the room? The thing with Blu is that he's scared of me. He will come only if I put food in front of me, and still he won't let me touch him. I tried the dowel but he only steps onto it if he's in his cage. And once I open the cage door to slide the dowel out, he gets off the dowel and back onto his swing. So, how exactly do I tame him? I really can't think of any way. I've had him for a week and a half and I didn't touch him the first week so that he would get used to the new environment. His cage is in a VERY safe place. He's the only pet I have, and the temperature of the room he's in is between 75-80 degrees. I never try forcing him to do anything if I see he tries to resist. Blu won't come very close to me so I don't know if he bites or not. I give him good food. I try to mix in fruits and veggies with his seeds. I make sure not to give him salty, sugary, foods, as well as not giving him chocolate or avacados. I give him VERY little millet. He's had maybe 5 or 6 little bits since I bought him. I'm willing to give him as long as he needs to learn I won't harm him and that he can trust me. So, I'll stop giving him food when I'm taming him so that he learns to come to me. But, as I asked before, how do I tame an untame bird without letting him on the ground? Thanks for all the feedback! Ben

[michael]

Occasional food or treats are okay to help get him used to you but not all the time. Just leave his door open and let him come out on his own and keep the cage in a permanent place. You don't have to take it out of the room. Taming takes a longer time because their still babies even at a year old. The ground has nothing to do with taming, its simply not safe for birds to be on the floor. You'll have to wait until he decides he's safe around you, and it may take a while for him to learn that. Its good that he's afraid right now as this is his only way of protecting himself. Blu is already getting used to you just by being around him. You don't have to know any particular taming method. Just be kind to him no matter what and most likely he'll one day be crawling all over you. If you leave his door open and he doesn't come out, no big deal, they generally get curious enough that they will eventually just to check you out. You could say its more of a learning, getting to know each other process than actual taming. Thats why giving plenty of time is important, after all, we didn't learn the english language overnite.........Michael N' Goofy

[BluBird]

Thanks michael, you've been quite helpful! Sorry I keep asking questions but I guess I'm just as curious as my little lovie. Just a few more questions. I've misted Blu twice since I got him and he kind of moves around while I mist him but he doesn't chirp while I mist him. Does that mean he likes it? And, should I give Blu any particular type of water? I currently fill his water bowl with tap water. When I open Blu's cage door, he will eventually come out but after a minute he goes back in and stays there until I close the cage. I do this a few times a day and Blu doesn't try flying away anymore when he steps out. When he's on the door, I just sit and watch him but if I bring by hand close, he'll run back in. Anyway, I'll try doing this for a while and see what happens. Thanks for taking the time to help me out! Take care...Ben

[michael]

Tap water is probably best. Spring water second but its hard to tell how good it really is. There's a new thread about water being discussed right now. Sounds like your bird likes water. Thats great! He might just take a bath in a low cut dish or bowl with maybe a half inch of water to start or under the tap water gently running. You may want to keep the toilet lid down, doesn't exactly make for a clean bird. And yes, birds tend to stink a little when wet but thats good. Misting is very good also. He's probably moving around thinking he's capturing the rain. Its good that he knows he's got his cage to run back to, this makes him feel more secure and this will make him more comfortable about exploring outside his home. I would like to say I was a little harsh in saying that they never realize you care for them. Its just that their thought process is so different from ours and those weren't the best words to put that in. After all, some will run to you for protection when they sense danger. My little Goofy does just that. You know Ben, Goofy went from biting and being totally afraid of everything to where now we have to pry him off to get him back in his cage. Everybody that meets him likes him so he must realize that.....Check out the rest of this community, there's so much good information, birds, and poeple......And thanks for sharing Blu with us......Goofy and Michael

[BluBird]

Get a load of this... I went down to the bird store to buy some toys and stuff for Blu and ask about his age and if he was handfed. The lady there told me that ALL their baby lovies were handfed and that Blu was about 3-4 months old. Hearing that made me H-A-P-P-Y!!! The lady also mentioned that the breeder who sold Blu to the bird store was coming in tomorrow, so I may go see her and ask about Blu. See what happens...

[BluBird]

Today I opened Blu's cage door for about 3 hours before he jumped out. He glided down and had me chase him for a minute until i threw a towel on him but still he got away and my dad came and grabbed him. He bit my dad's finger very hard, but I don't blame it. So, does this mean I should leave the cage door closed until Blu trusts me? And, does my dad grabbing him lose whatever trust I had with Blu? Blu was handfed but I don't know why he just won't come around. I can understand he doesn't like hands, but he won't even get on a dowel! I tried giving him millet in my hand but he starts chirping and getting all scared. I sit by him when I eat my lunch and dinner and when I'm doing my homework. He just falls asleep and shows no interest in coming towards me. Kind of funny really because we were at the pet store last night and the lady grabbed a baby lovie that was handfed like Blu and maybe a couple weeks younger and the lovie didn't bite her, well it tried but couldn't, and then the lovie sat on her shoulder after she let go of it. I was thinking about grabbing Blu and trying that but after seeing how hard he bit my dad I'm afraid it'll make everything for Blu a little more frightening. Something that was a bit interesting was that when he glided from his cage's door it was towards me. But, I was sitting too far away from the cage for Blu to land on me. Does this mean he may have been trying to come to me? I don't think it does because Blu just ran away when I offered him a dowel to step up onto from the floor. So, anyone who can help would be great. Thanks! Ben

[michael]

Ben. You definitely need to visit the resource library and read the whole thing. There's a section about screaming and biting among other things. Closing his cage door gives him no opportunity to get to know you or his surroundings. Its obvious you are too anxious and need to give Blu and yourself a lot more time. And, although birds generally have similar characteristics, no two are alike, so you can't compare with the one this woman picked up. She may also have a lot more experience handling birds. There's always small setbacks when birds get scared for any reason, and sometimes it can be hard to get them back in their cage and you have no choice but to get them safely with a towel. Its understandable that nobody gets a pet bird and has all the answers, which is why its important you review other information offered here so that you can procede to care for your bird armed with information and advice before attempting it. A question for you is, do you know if Blu's a he or she? As this can make a world of difference. Do you know how to tell if its a he or a she? Do you know how to tell if he's 5 weeks old or 5 months old and why this may make a difference? Also, are his wings clipped or is he too young to fly? And what will you do once he's able to fly? These questions can be answered by reading the resource library. Your simply not giving Blu or yourself the time necessary for bonding, in fact, you may be spending too much time trying to tame him, therefore setting up unrealistic goals for both him and you in such a short period of time. The more time you spend with him is good but it needs to be with less expectations and a lot more patience......Take care....Michael and Goofy

[BluBird]

michael. Here's the answer to your questions. And I didn't need to read the resource library. The resource library isn't NEARLY as helpful as everyone says it is. At least not for me. Most of it is on breeding which I have no use for.

I don't know if Blu is a he or she. I don't know how to tell is it's a he or she. I know how to tell the age (Black on beak means it's young) Blu doesn't have black on beak but the lady at the pet store told me it was between 3-5 months old. His wings are clipped. Once he is able to fly I will take him to an avian vet for clipping. I'll give Blu a break with the taming. Ben

[BluBird]

Btw, I did read the resource library and didn't find the information that you said I would find. Maybe I missed a spot, but I don't know where I didn't read. I'm pretty sure I read the entire thing, except for the part on breeding.

[Janie]

Ben, there are 39 pages of threads in the Behavior and Taming section with about 20 threads on each of the 39 pages. If you can't find tips and information there, I would have no earthly idea what to suggest. There have been 55 hits on this thread and Michael has obviously and thoughtfully tried to help you with your questions. Somewhere, in reading the resource library, you missed the part about telling which sex you have. That would be the section on DNA. In the peachface species, unless there is a sex link in the breeding which assures you what the chick will be, you can't tell what the sex is w/o DNAing or finding that your bird has laid an egg (if you want to wait that long). I have three males and have no intentions of breeding but still find that the Resource Library does contain a wealth of information and many of my questions were answered there before I had to ask them.

If you can't find most of the information you are seeking on this forum, I doubt it exist. I've never read a book on lovebirds with better information than I've found here and my own avian vet doesn't know half as much about lovebirds as I do. She certainly can medically treat a lovie better than I could but when it comes to behavior and characteristics, I can run circles around her with the information I've obtained here. When I found this forum I had zero pet bird experience and I read for three days, hours each day, before I even knew what questions to ask. Not every question will have a definite answer and some won't have any answer but if you'll keep reading and then re-reading, you will find tips that you can apply in taming your bird.

[michael]

Its easy to overlook some of the information, there's so much. Its under "information related to the care of lovebirds" which is below the breeding section. I'm not into breeding either but the info was interesting in case I ever get the opportunity to help someone else outside this community. I know some of the answers don't take the place of experience but the resource library is a very useful starting point, and I personally find it very useful in helping me ask the right questions. I have no doubt you may have overlooked much of the information as most of it is NOT on breeding. DNA sexing is also discussed in the library and it provides other links to various issues outside the confines of this community. Blu's progress is already evident in that he knows where his home is and is accepting food and care from you, even if he still won't come to you. Please realize that some bonding can't be seen until it happens so any time spent around him is important even if its just hanging out nearby. Ben, I'm just curious, is there anyone that can go over the library with you? sometimes it helps to get another persons opinion. ...Take care and maybe soon you can give Blu a scratch on the head for me......Goofy and Michael

[salderm1]

I'm curious, how old are you? I have posted many times about Link and I. Just let him come to you! It is unsettling the first few times when a bird flys to you, but you gotta keep calm and quiet. Trust me HE WILL FLY to you if you are jut patient!!! My problem now, is I can't get my birdie OFF my shoulder!!! Listen to me and more important LISTEN to these people who are advising you!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!

[Sweetpeaches]

hi,

i just joined the site today and just wanted to encourage you to be patient with your lovie. i got my lovebird "peaches" 3 weeks ago as a gift from some friends. they were also duped into believing peaches was hand-fed and was a female. they also said she was 5 months old. when i went to pick her up at the store they told me she was NOT hand-fed so who know's how old she really is?? anyway, when i brought her home she was pretty hyper and all over the cage. it took her a few days to settle down. when i tried to put my finger or hands towards her she would freak. like you i was thinking it was going to be quite a challenge bonding with her and getting her to at least get on my finger "up ups".

after my first bite on the finger (drew blood) but i didn't yank my finger out of her mouth, instead just gently worked it out, i read that you should use a small towel to remove them from the cage until they've learned to step up on your finger. so for the first two weeks i would scoop her up in a towel and take her into the bathroom (tiolet lid down) and start training her.

i'm happy to report it's now been 3 weeks and she has never bitten me again and will get on my finger when i put it in the cage. however, if her "little tent" is in her cage she will hop in it when i get to the cage door to hide from me. i fixed that by removing the tent first.

i must say though at this point she will not let me pet her, however i can take my chin and rub it on her back and she seems to love it! for some reason at this point she's not ready to be "handled". but 3 weeks ago i would've never thot she would've gotten on my finger! she also at this time will not take food from me.

so i will persevere and hope that she will want my affections, however if not i am thankful i can at least have her on my finger and talk to her while she looks at me with those cute inquisitive eyes.

hope this helps you out...have patience..it's worth it!!!

susan

[BluBird]

Janie, I know there is an endless amount of information in the behavior and taming section. I just really don't have enough time to spend reading all of it. Yes, I read for maybe an hour at a time, but compared to all the info here, an hour is really nothing. And something that's a little annoying is that, for example, someone will post something, and someone else will reply. THEN I find another post, almost identical, and the reply to it is different. Someone will post a question like "Should I leave the cage door open or should I leave it closed. And, if open, for how long?" And then someone else will respond, "Leave it open for a few minutes then close it." And then someone else will respond, "Leave it closed." GEE THANKS! That helped! So, that's why I keep asking questions. I only stick to what people here tell ME. And I'm not posting this as an angry response. Please don't take it as a "comeback". Just trying to tell you what the reason for my questioning is.

Michael, I don't know anyone who can go over the library with me, BUT, my dad became friends with a VERY experienced breeder who seems to tell me very helpful information. When I asked her for the first time how to tame a lovie, you know what she said? She didn't say spend time with it, she didn't say gain its trust, she didn't say just be patient, but rather she told me DETAILED explanations on how many ways she tamed her lovie. She wasn't telling me basics, like people here tell me. Everyone here tells me, "Yea, just be patient, and Blu will come to you. You need patience and give Blu time." I can give you a MILLION reasons why that doesn't help. The only real question I have is how to tame Blu. I understand patience is a must. And I've calmed down very much with Blu and I'm giving him much more time and I'm not nearly as anxious to get him tame a.s.a.p. as I was, which is good.

salderm1, I think it's you who needs to calm down. Before this post I never put ten '!' after my sentences. And you think it would be smart of me to take advice from someone who tells me to stay calm but puts a trillion '!' after his sentence? No way can you judge my expression of writing just because you 'think' it's the way I was thinking when I wrote it. Caps lock merely emphasize the word, not meaning it's used as an angry retort. I'm sure you have posted many things about link and you, but it never really occured to me to read your posts specifically.

Sweetpeaches, thanks for the reply. Your post was the most helpful of all 60 posts here. You actually tell me one way of taming rather than constantly telling me to calm down and just be patient, because I never was excited for me to calm down. Thanks for you help. Ben

[michael]

Ben. I think its great that you found someones post that works for you. Or that you found the information that you need. Understand that we don't know the breeder you mentioned or any of the details she gave you for taming your lovie. Maybe you should have told us ahead of time so that we'd know not to give the same answer. We don't even know how much experience you have, you might have more than some other members here which would be good. I took questions you asked in your posts as well as other details and tried to give the best answer I could. I understand that I don't always give the right answer or the one that poeple want, so sorry if thats the case. Whats important is you get the answers you need so I hope you spend more time doing that than being critical to anyones post you don't like, understand, or agree with. That is immature and unproductive. You may get different answers occasionally but I'm sure your smart enough to choose what may work best for you. Ben, please understand most, if not all the poeple here want whats best for you and Blu and are willing to help you no matter what you think of their opinions, so I hope your old enough to respect the fact that they even took the time to answer "YOUR POST" without criticizing your lack of knowledge. Good luck. And again keep us posted on any progress you have working with Blu......Goofy and Michael