What about Bob?

[Becc]

After reading others' posts about the many different personalities of their birds, I'm feeling somewhat less put out about Bob's lack of enthusiasm for getting to know me, but, even if he's never going to fall in love with me I at least want him to be happy and feel comfortable coming out of his cage and playing. I'm at a loss right now. He wasn't responding very well to being taken out of the cage against his will (he steps up fairly readily, but I have to hold onto his toes to get him out of the cage). Once out, he'd hang out on my shoulder in silence, and generally refuse any treats I tried to offer, and seemed to worried to be interested in toys. The only things he occasionally did that made me think he was starting to relax were preening and chewing on my hair. Now, I've been leaving the door to his cage open while I'm puttering or studying nearby, but he has not ventured out. He looks like he [I]wants[I] to, but he's looked like that a lot over the past several months and still hasn't done anything about it. He seems pretty happy in his cage and acts like a normal, healthy, well-adjusted bird while inside. I just want him to want to come out and play. Anybody else have a bird like this? Should I keep on doing the open the cage door thing and be patient? Should I make him come out? I feel like whatever I do, I need to be consistent...just not sure what to do. Ideas??? :confused: Thanks...
Becc

[linda040899]

Hi Becc,
You are right that each bird is an individual and each has its own personality! Keep in mind that the cage represents safety for a bird, just as our homes are a safe zone for us (usually). It may take time for Bob to feel that he wants to come out of his cage and that's OK, as it will be at his own pace. There could be something in his background that you don't know about and that's why he likes his cage. Personally, I would continue to leave the cage door open and let him decide when/if he's comfortable coming out to play/explore. Earning trust is not always an easy thing to do and the key word is patience.

When this community was hosted by EZboard, we had a member who adopted and older, abused Amazon Parrot. The bird had lived in cage that was much too small and dirty beyond belief! She cleaned the cage and improved his diet but he was cage bound for probably 6 months after she got him. He had been abused for a good part of the time that he was with his previous owner and he viewed all humans as the same. I don't know that she ever managed to get him to accept a larger cage but eventually he felt secure enough to come out and sit on top of the area where he felt safe.

I'm not saying that this is necessarily the case with Bob but I'm sure he has his own reasons for wanting to stay in his cage. Work with him by letting him make the decisions and see where it takes you. All live creatures will respond to love, kindness and patience!!!

[michael]

My daughter had a lovie, Jones, who was very quiet and reserved. He went back in his cage "too" easily and didn't seem interested in much anything else. You could say he was very passive because even though he seemed to prefer his cage you could tell he enjoyed human company. Sometimes it would be nice if Goofy shared at least a little of Bob's and Jone's "leave me alone I'm fine attitude". Goofy is definitely a double barreled little vulture who if he could would go in one of my ears and out the other. He's now playing chess with my laptop keys. Its far more difficult to give answers than give Ideas here. We did find that Jone's loved water and after his bath he was more receptive to our advances. He also enjoyed two large keyrings put together that were large enough for him to walk through. Bob sounds very similar to Jones and Jones did eventually warm up to coming out to visit more often. Jones was actually Goofy's brother and they were complete opposites! Any of Bob's contentment and security may be upset by forcing him out. Just my opinion there. Good luck and beak rubs for Bob even if he's not ready yet.....Goofy N' Michael

[bellarains]

Hi Becc,

It sounds like you are giving Bob time to settle in, and letting him progress at his own pace. That is exactly what you need to do, and just keep it up. My only suggestion would be to place a dish with something that he really loves near you, and act like you are eating some, offer him a little, then just sit back and see if he will venture out to get some of it. You know what they say, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", of course that works will girls, and pets too;)

[Becc]

Thanks everyone for your ideas! The general drift I'm getting is that it's probably a better idea to let him come out on his own (if, indeed, this ever comes to pass) than to bring him out before he's ready. I'm glad to hear it, because that was my gut feeling as well. I'll happily be as patient as he needs me to be; I was just second guessing myself as to the correct approach. I think that my insisting he come out was probably a mistake (at least in Bob's case -- he seems to be a very sensitive soul), and I hope it hasn't ruined any chance of him really trusting me....let's hope not. Talk about individual personalities!! I had my last lovie for 16 years, and I sort of fell into the belief that I knew them inside-out...Bob is her polar opposite, and he's making me feel like I don't know anything! :blush: I'll stick with the open cage method from now on. I have tried the pretend-nibbling on treats, and you're right, it does get him interested (just not interested enough to come out, as of yet). I'll keep trying it, and the key rings sound like a good idea too. Thanks again----any other thoughts are welcome!!!
Becc:)

[Jessica]

I play with Celestino when he's in the cage. If I'm walking by I'll stick my hand in and we'll snuggle for a minute. Maybe interacting with him in his territory will help him learn to trust you. Even if this doesn't work or isn't a good idea I think your patience will pay off.

[ravyn]

When I got Henry, it took about 6 months for him to warm up to me completely. It wasn't necessarily hard to get him out of his cage, but he didn't enjoy it! He spent most of his out-of-cage time trying to fly away from me and find his way back to his cage. And suddenly he just decided that he did like me after all. Now instead of trying to get away from me, he flies TO me whenever he's out of his cage. I still can't get him to talk (chirping, not actual talking of course) to me, but I guess I should be thankful that he's not overly "talkative".... :)