frustrated in brooklyn

[ittyandrita]

so i've been trying to finger train jeffrey. i took him into the bathroom for the first time today, since otherwise he would just avoid me at all costs. i used a little dowel and my finger, but when i put it up to his chest he just flattened to the ground, like he didn't know what to do. should i just give him more time before i start pushing him like this? i've had him almost three weeks now. he'll eat millet from my hand but flips out at the sight of my finger or a perch. any suggestions?

[linda040899]

From what you are saying, it really sounds like Jeffrey was never taught the step up command! He may have been hand fed but I'd have to question whether he was socialized properly! You are probably going to have to start from square 1 with the taming/socializing process and it could take a while. You might have better luck with Jeffrey in a small, dimly lit room where you have control of the situation. Are his flight feathers clipped? If not, that's where you need to start, at least for now.

[ittyandrita]

i'm thinking the very same thing! i have no idea where to start. i mean, he will take millet from my fingers, but if i'm any more forward than that he flips. should i just continue feeding him from my fingers and see if he decides to move forward? i dont want to push him, but i also dont want a relationship of him always being terrified of me. its so hard to go from a lovebird who is obsessed with you to one who cant get away from you fast enough! should i just let him be and start trying to initiate 'step ups' when he seems more comfortable with me? without stressing the little guy out, how do you go about socializing a new baby lovebird well? his wings are clipped, but his 'friend' rita's are not and they never have been. she's a free lovin free flyin love bird who i have no intention on finger training. she is willing enough to go into her cage when necessary and is easy enough to catch if i have to put her back or take her to the vet that i dont want to try and change her (yet) i feel like she would completely flip if her wings were cut. they've never been her whole life (she is almost 3 1/2 and i got her when she was almost 3) so i brought that up because jeffrey is all stressed that he cant go wherever rita is going. he gets around really really well, but i'm just saying to myself, let them be, maybe in a couple years one will become like itty-bitty and be a cuddle machine. i just dont know what to do! obviously i want them hand tame but i dont want to depress and stress them out too much in the process. eek. any suggestions??:whistle: :rolleyes:

[linda040899]

I've always been of the opinion that you can't/should not force a wild creature (lovebirds are really wild birds that we have tamed) to do anything that they don't want to do naturally. Itty was a cuddlebug because he trusted you and wanted to be cuddled. Rita, obviously, does not have that same desire and you've not pushed that on her. Ginger, my CAG, is exactly the same way. She and I have a wonderful relationship. It's just not up close and personal! :) Heck, she's been with me since 1991 and also has no idea what to do if I offer my hand or a dowel and tell her to "step up"! She goes in her cage on command so I'm content with the relationship as it exists.

Let Jeffery continue at his own pace. If he's truly been hand fed and handled, the trust should return. I can't give you a timeline, as each bird is different. Lovebirds need/want attention and they love to explore. Give Jeffrey some time and he may surprise you. He's not Itty and he will win his way into your heart in his own way.

I would leave Itty's wings clipped for now, if nothing else but his own safety. Rita is used to your home. Itty is not. That's a recipe for trouble. If you want to let them grow back in, you can do that. A properly socialized baby lovebird already knows how to step up when it goes to its new home and it also likes to be handled because the breeder took the time to spend some time after each hand feeding to just hold the baby, cuddle with it and caress it. Hand feeding alone will not produce a well socialized bird.

[ittyandrita]

linda,
thank you for your advice. i decided to lay off jeffrey and today it really paid off! i think not having to deal with me trying to make him do stuff has made him much more relaxed, and today i was able to coax him on a little perch i was holding (perch in one hand, millet in the other...) and then later he actually climbed on my hand to eat! it was great and then rita waddled over and leaned against my hand (sustained physical contact!) to reach the millet. it was great, i realize i cant force them to be cuddle bugs, but it was so great to see my first bit of progress in them being comfortable around me. regardless it will just make life easier if i can pick them up if i need to. thanks!

[ittyandrita]

ok, just had to share with people who would understand my excitement. i have continued to let Jeffrey and Rita go about their business without me messing with them. i've also stopped catching them to put them back in their cage- they have out of cage play time in the morning before i go to work, which i'm always late to 'cause i'm hanging out with the birdies, but i have to put them back in regardless if they want to, so now i just lure them with a treat. well, now jeffrey will always come to the front of the cage when i come home or get up in the morning and if i present my finger to him, he will do exploratory nibbles (he's still never bitten), rita has done it too. i cant believe they come up to me without any food in my hand!

[linda040899]

This is wonderful news!!!

Patience, patience, patience! When you think you've tried it all, add more patience!!! They realize that your hands won't hurt them and are responding accordingly! Keep up the great work! :)