Elle
07-05-2007, 09:22 AM
Pros and Cons of Owning a Human (PARROT'S point of view):
1. They sleep too late. I mean, honestly, why must they wait for the sun to be ENTIRELY up to get out of bed ? .....and feed me?
2. Some learn to talk, but most don't. They have this annoying tendency to repeat the same thing over and over again without any real purpose. I have spent countless hours trying to get mine to learn to scream but to no avail.
3. No matter how many times I fling the kale out of my bowl, my person refuses to get the message and there it is again the next day ruining my breakfast. Why must it be so difficult to get some cheese around here?
4. Humans are all noisy. They yell across the house all the time. Don't get me started on that awful sound they make at night when they are sleeping. Sounds like a buzzsaw.
5. They continuously hang their little colored blocks of wood and string in MY bedroom. Like I don't have enough of my own stuff, I need to operate a storage facility too? I destroy the things, and what do they do? They go ahead and hang more. You'd think they'd get the message. I honestly just don't have the room!
6. Did I mention how hard it is to get a piece of cheese around here??
7. Humans are messy. No bones about it - socks on the floor, jacket on the chair, and when was the last time yours made its bed in the morning.
8. Once a year or so they drag you to this awful place where some complete stranger wraps you in a towel and shines a light in your eye. Watch out for the needle - they're after your blood, God only knows what for! You're like, "Uh, a little HELP here??", but your human stands there stupidly and does NOTHING until the strangers have decided they have had enough of you. If you're lucky you'll get to go home then. Be sure and bite your human at least once for this indignation to teach them a lesson and maybe they won't take you there again next year.
9. Humans hardly ever keep to a schedule. I like to think I have mine trained to get home at 6:30pm, but then every so often she surprises me by not showing up until 9pm! The nerve. Also, what is it about Sundays and my not getting breakfast on time because humans like to sleep in?
10. They let strange people in the house without asking my permission.
11. Humans sometimes carry pests like cats and dogs. I have not yet figured out how to rid them of this problem.
12. If you want to keep more than one human, just be prepared that they don't always get along. Other times they get along too well and completely ignore you - a few loud bursts of screaming should solve either issue quickly.
13. Sometimes they place a cover over your bedroom WELL before you have any interest in going to bed.
14. They, not being the brightest creatures, tend to sit in one place for HOURS staring at a box with pictures in it that makes a lot of noise. Either that or they sit in front of a DIFFERENT type of box and tap their fingers on the tabletop in front of IT for hours. Doesn't take much to keep them occupied. Use this time wisely and get into and destroy anything you normally wouldn't be allowed to if they were paying attention!
15. Lastly, in spite of all their unpleasant habits, they are GREAT cuddlers, they skritch that spot you can never quite reach, and they do offer fabulous room service (when it includes cheese), house cleaning, and spa services.
1. They sleep too late. I mean, honestly, why must they wait for the sun to be ENTIRELY up to get out of bed ? .....and feed me?
2. Some learn to talk, but most don't. They have this annoying tendency to repeat the same thing over and over again without any real purpose. I have spent countless hours trying to get mine to learn to scream but to no avail.
3. No matter how many times I fling the kale out of my bowl, my person refuses to get the message and there it is again the next day ruining my breakfast. Why must it be so difficult to get some cheese around here?
4. Humans are all noisy. They yell across the house all the time. Don't get me started on that awful sound they make at night when they are sleeping. Sounds like a buzzsaw.
5. They continuously hang their little colored blocks of wood and string in MY bedroom. Like I don't have enough of my own stuff, I need to operate a storage facility too? I destroy the things, and what do they do? They go ahead and hang more. You'd think they'd get the message. I honestly just don't have the room!
6. Did I mention how hard it is to get a piece of cheese around here??
7. Humans are messy. No bones about it - socks on the floor, jacket on the chair, and when was the last time yours made its bed in the morning.
8. Once a year or so they drag you to this awful place where some complete stranger wraps you in a towel and shines a light in your eye. Watch out for the needle - they're after your blood, God only knows what for! You're like, "Uh, a little HELP here??", but your human stands there stupidly and does NOTHING until the strangers have decided they have had enough of you. If you're lucky you'll get to go home then. Be sure and bite your human at least once for this indignation to teach them a lesson and maybe they won't take you there again next year.
9. Humans hardly ever keep to a schedule. I like to think I have mine trained to get home at 6:30pm, but then every so often she surprises me by not showing up until 9pm! The nerve. Also, what is it about Sundays and my not getting breakfast on time because humans like to sleep in?
10. They let strange people in the house without asking my permission.
11. Humans sometimes carry pests like cats and dogs. I have not yet figured out how to rid them of this problem.
12. If you want to keep more than one human, just be prepared that they don't always get along. Other times they get along too well and completely ignore you - a few loud bursts of screaming should solve either issue quickly.
13. Sometimes they place a cover over your bedroom WELL before you have any interest in going to bed.
14. They, not being the brightest creatures, tend to sit in one place for HOURS staring at a box with pictures in it that makes a lot of noise. Either that or they sit in front of a DIFFERENT type of box and tap their fingers on the tabletop in front of IT for hours. Doesn't take much to keep them occupied. Use this time wisely and get into and destroy anything you normally wouldn't be allowed to if they were paying attention!
15. Lastly, in spite of all their unpleasant habits, they are GREAT cuddlers, they skritch that spot you can never quite reach, and they do offer fabulous room service (when it includes cheese), house cleaning, and spa services.